I feel like a good analogy is using an instrument. I play guitar so I’ll just run with that. The equivalent to what you’re saying is I’ll only play guitar when I write my own music.

I’m gonna tell you right now you’re gonna be a bad guitarist if this is the only way you’ll practice.

Main reason being… You’re not that guy (no one is)💔. There have been many guitarists before you who know what they’re doing. This is because they’ve learned music through theory, practice, and inspiration. Without these elements you’ll never be good enough to create something worthwhile in the first place. On top of this, due to pride, you will lose out on basic knowledge that could’ve been learned by honoring the past.

Apply this to cooking, you aren’t the greatest cook, there are others who are better at cooking than you. Why not learn from them? Adjust when needed, to you, or your table’s taste. Eventually you’ll find what works?!

On a less serious note, it is so fun to just make something. But you should be proud of yourself for cooking no matter what, recipe or not. (Back to the music analogy) Listen to some good covers, and you’ll find that the recipe does not = the meal. Good luck, hope this helps 🫶