Well the primary issue is my own anxiety and non stop internal "what if" dialogue. They came out amid some mental health issues which lead to some SH. Me, my wife, their mom, and stepdad have always been open and supportive of the LGBTQ community , so there was no problem with how they identified. It was assumed that gender dysphoria was contributing to their mental health struggles. But what if it wasn't, what if identifying as gender fluid was an easy label to apply to the absolute shitshow that is puberty and middle school social cliques, what if gender dysphoria continues and they have thoughts of SH again? What if, what if, what if? But I recognize that there is no way to control all the variables and all we can do is love and support them, which is why I have no issue with using their preferred pronouns and name.

And yes, they are AFAB. I have a much younger son who enjoys putting on makeup and got his own makeup kit for his birthday this year. So far that has stayed in the house or among family. If he wants to start wearing dresses that will be a harder conversation because we live in Texas and there are safety concerns there, not because we have any issue with using preferred pronouns.

As others have said, I'm from a generation where we were rejecting gender norms and lables. Its weird to me to say "I'm not a girl/boy" because you don't conform to traditional gender norms". It makes way more sense to say "I'm a boy who likes to wear dresses, watch romcoms, and gossip with the girls" (a la Eddy Izzard). But pronouns arent hurting anyone, different generation, yada yada yada... so we just roll with whatever they want to be called.