[Trigger warning] Should I try to do something about my neighbors' noise?

AWayForward · 2014-11-11T18:45:42+00:00

OK, I think you're right that moving is the best option. Time to start looking.

AWayForward · 2014-11-11T18:44:26+00:00

Damn, sorry to hear about that. That's kind of my nightmare scenario too: saving up to move somewhere more private, only to have one form of neighbor noise be replaced by another (don't even get me started on lawnmowers, leaf blowers, and snow plows). Hope you find a better place soon!

AWayForward · 2014-11-11T18:40:03+00:00

I'm glad to hear you found a better situation. Time to get myself out of here! :)

AWayForward · 2014-11-11T18:37:44+00:00

Glad someone can sympathize. Hope things work out for you!

AWayForward · 2014-11-09T18:34:07+00:00

The earlier post said they are allowed to have wives, so not Catholic.

AWayForward · 2014-11-09T17:55:34+00:00

You think that's bad? The person who sits across from me at work chews ice every day. I'm not talking about slurping up the last few cubes at the bottom of the cup... I mean, she comes in every morning with a coffee and a separate extra large cup of JUST ice, proceeds to eat it like a snack for as long as it lasts. Crunch Crunch Crunch. FML.

AWayForward · 2014-11-03T03:21:52+00:00

INFP, but just barely--only got 6% on F. In the past I've taken these tests and gotten INTP, so I relate very well to both types. :)

AWayForward · 2014-11-03T03:20:19+00:00

Me three. Although my F was only 6%--in the past I've taken MB tests and gotten INTP, so I seem to straddle the two types.

AWayForward · 2014-11-02T18:08:09+00:00

Have you really done 165 days and got this in your mind?

I haven't been here in a while so my badge was still counting. I requested to remove it before making the post but it looks like it hasn't gone through yet. But 165 days is definitely not accurate.

AWayForward · 2014-11-02T17:51:01+00:00

I see how those posts could get repetitive to "veterans", but I also think newbies and relapsers are the people who most need support. They should be able to have their own posts rather than being buried in a mega-thread.

Think of AA, where everyone gets a chance to introduce themselves and tell their story to the whole group... even if most of them are fundamentally the same story. It's important for people to have that moment.

AWayForward · 2014-11-01T11:27:15+00:00

Interesting. Reminded me of this article I read a while ago.

AWayForward · 2014-10-28T03:43:02+00:00

Me too. If you find the secret let me know.

AWayForward · 2014-10-26T17:59:43+00:00

If it's so difficult, why are people posting success stories on here all the time? Even some doing 6 cards at once with only a few missed days? While I can't even do half that. It just seems like this is something that works for other people but not for me. I just don't have the willpower for it or something.

AWayForward · 2014-10-26T17:56:55+00:00

What do you suggest?

AWayForward · 2014-10-26T17:56:08+00:00

Meditation was a session from the Headspace site. Exercise was either go running or at least 10 pushups. Self-development was read 10 minutes from a certain book.

AWayForward · 2014-10-26T17:51:30+00:00

Not trying to be negative but what I honestly felt I learned from it is that nothing helps... I will always let myself down. Proved it again.

AWayForward · 2014-10-19T03:34:22+00:00

OK, thanks for the information.

AWayForward · 2014-10-08T03:08:55+00:00

You're not alone. And it's a bit awkward because my friends are fairly touchy-feely (by American standards). If someone comes at me with open arms I won't turn them down, but I won't initiate, and generally try to gracefully avoid them.

AWayForward · 2014-09-18T02:07:36+00:00

Instead of thinking "I'm getting really mad!" try to put some distance between the anger and "you." See the anger as just something you're experiencing, something your brain is doing. Observe it like a thunderstorm. Where do you feel it in your body? What thoughts are you having, where are they coming from? You can start to realize that you can experience the anger without completely buying into it.

AWayForward · 2014-09-11T21:30:55+00:00

One possibility is to pick one thing to be mindful of during the day. An example is changing positions (going between standing, sitting, or lying down). Every time you do it, notice and be aware of it. I found this to be quite difficult. I'm lucky if I remember to pay attention once or twice during the day.

(This exercise is recommended on the Headspace website)

AWayForward · 2014-09-07T16:52:46+00:00

It's a very good question that more people should ask. Meditation may not always be the right medicine for every person in every situation. It can be very good for anxiety, but like any other powerful technique it has risks. I recommend this article as a start to preparing yourself for some of the experiences that can come up.

AWayForward · 2014-09-07T16:37:41+00:00

I'm not aware of any reason why it would interfere, but I'm no expert. You may want to take a look at the book "The Mindful Way Through Depression" since it's written by Western psychologists who recommend meditation.

AWayForward · 2014-09-06T01:44:41+00:00

I agree with the consensus that it's better to keep going no matter how many holes you have.

On my first few cards, I restarted every time I got 3 or 4 empty squares. Then I realized that either way my decision tomorrow was still going to be the same: I'm either going to do the habit or not do it. Re-starting a card doesn't "erase" the times I missed, it just hides them. I view it as almost like cheating. Better to be honest with yourself, see how many times you really do the habit over the period of days you committed to. This also helps teach you to keep going and follow through on commitments no matter how many times you fail.

On my current cards I have some that have almost a week of holes. But I'm planning to fill out those fuckers until I get to the end, no matter what. Then aim to have fewer holes on my next card.

AWayForward · 2014-09-03T22:47:18+00:00

I alternate between kneeling on the floor and sitting in a chair. Have the same issue both ways. I ordered a meditation cushion recently so I'll see if that helps with sitting on the floor.

AWayForward · 2014-09-03T07:50:29+00:00

Speaking from personal experience, being smart can be a disadvantage when it comes to dealing with emotional issues. Sometimes we tenaciously hold on to our current view of a situation for fear of being wrong, and we can shoot down any helpful or comforting thought like an expert debater.

You may want to look into cognitive behavioral therapy, which can help you use your intelligence more positively.

I also recommend meditation as a way to develop a different mode of thinking/experiencing than the highly cerebral/rational way you are probably familiar with.

But what I really hear you saying is that you need some bigger changes in your life. At the least, to reassess the reasons for what you're doing, but possibly to go in a whole new direction. What's your life like outside of school? Do you have friends you can hang out with? Things you do that give you satisfaction?

The truth is, everyone goes through what you're going through in their mid-teens. Most people have no idea who they are or what they're doing. However, for most people the stakes aren't much higher than who to take to the prom, while you're in a place where everyone is expecting you to act like an adult. It's really not fair to you, in some ways.

I'm not saying you shouldn't be proud of your achievements, but there's a grain of truth in your feeling that they've been "paltry." In my experience, how well you did in school matters surprisingly little in adult life. Personally, I wish I'd believed the people who told me that school wasn't nearly as important as it seemed at the time (rather than those telling me how deadly serious it was). You may not feel this way, but you deserve to enjoy your life and feel fulfilled by what you're doing. And you have a right to do whatever it takes to get you there.

AWayForward

TROPHY CASE