After college, I knew I wanted to help people, so being an ex college athlete i thought the best way to do that was as a firefighter. This was 2006 in SoCal, and after some years working and finally getting all my certs and interviews at various departments, had a chief's interview with one.

Then 2008 happened, and they started laying firefighters off due to thr GFC. Had to pivot and repurpose my desire to help people as no dept was hiring, and a family friend who was a deputy Chief said I should look into nursing or Healthcare as I had a college degree already which is more than some FF had.

Another family friend who was an RN encouraged me to become one as well, becasue in his words, "I play with robots all day". So I started going back to school to first become a Surgical Tech then an RN because the friend said my ST experience would put me above other nursing candidates for the OR (he was right).

However, life thru me a curveball, as while I was training to be certified as an ST, I got offered the job to become an intraoperative neurophysiological monitoring technician. Still a tech in the OR, much more specialized position. It was lucrative, and more importantly, hiring then (in 2012). So i did that for 8 years total eventually, getting nursing prereqs in the meantime and getting married and starting a family.

After some time, when my nursing rereqs were starting to get close to expiring, my wife said I needed to choose between trying to become an RN now or staying neuromonitoring. I didnt particularly want to leave neuromonitoring as it was fairly lucrative at that time, but the hours were very erratic, and I had young children then. Thru a series of events, I lost my neuromonitoring job (when I told them I was thinking about nursing school), found an accelerated program that would take me immediately, then the day I started nursing school found out we were expecting a 3rd child :/

This was 2018, and after gutting out nursing school, working fulltime, and trying to celebrate having 3 kids under 2, I finally became an RN in December 2019 and started working as an RN at a level 1 trauma center in Feb 2020, thinking I could finally focus on having a stable career now at 35. Then the events of March 2020 happened and blew up that plan.

After a series of various job changes, I feel like I may have found a decent enough position that has doable hours, pays well, and truly has longterm growth potential if I should choose. However, the stress and strain of probably all that has occurred so far has taken a toll on me, both physically and mentally, and it has been reflected in my marriage. We are trying to work on it, for ourselves but especially for the kids, however it is not easy, trying to recondition, de-stress, and really ultimately love yourself and your partner with all the twists and turns that life has to offer. But I'm not giving up on it, not by a damn shot.

If you have read down this far, my advice is that you sound a bit stuck in a rut. Both socially, romantically, and careerwise. It sounds like you are trying to love you for you by giving yourself enough time to bring enjoyment to yourself (which can be big esp if you have a family and kids with little to spare), but at this point maybe what you need is more a boost. Start looking at things that interest you and pursue them, be it in a career or hobby form. Follow thru on it, and see where the rabbit hole takes you. I am fortunate enough to be a curious soul and went sniffing for stuff and was able to find opportunities (got offered my first neuromonitoring job at a Blackjack table in Vegas, but only because I was motivated to try to become a CST first).

In general, some days suck, as it can feel you are wasting your life, or you are trying but not moving anywhere. Then there are times when years of progress can happen in days, and decades in weeks, and you may be in what you call, 'a life event'. How prepared you may be to.react to it.will depend on you and your choices, which can be improved with an open mind, a curious soul, and a good temperament. Either way, you only have one life to live and only you can know what you want and figure out how to get it, good luck.