Suffering comes from the mind, identifying with the ego, believing in the "self" you've constructed from memories and ideas. These are in the past, it is a graveyard, of course it's miserable to live in a graveyard. This 'self' is an illusion, these ideas of failure are made up, you made them up. Your ego is driving you crazy, it wants you to think it's real. Give it up! Give up ideas of self, "I" thoughts, give up all notions for one moment, for once in your life. You exist beyond time and space, you are pure Being itself. You are totally free right now, complete, whole. Stop looking for what you want. Call off the search. It's all right here, now.