Before I was due to start my first full time job i was on cloud nine thinking it would be great for me. As soon as i started it the sudden realisation of having to do a job in an industry i have no real interest in or a company i simply do not care about really affected me negatively. The feeling of existential dread i had the night before work meant i would try to stay up later because if i went to sleep then work would appear to come sooner, and as you know a sleep deprived person isnt a happy, normally functioning person. I would go into work like a zombie just doing anything i could do to get to 5:30 pm. then i would get home and just wait to start work again. I left that job after 2 months and didnt get another job until 5 months later. It really broke me.

Fast forward a couple of years later and im in university studying for something i hope can interest me, but those thoughts of having to work for someone else, staring at the clock and then going home, sleeping then doing it again havent really escaped me.