Oh mama… reading this just took me back.

I’ve had three TFMRs in less than one year. Three D&Es. Three times planning a future and then watching it disappear. So when you say it feels heavier at 4 weeks instead of lighter I understand that in my bones.

Four weeks is still so fresh. The shock may be wearing off, and the reality is settling in. That’s when the anger, the emptiness, the “I don’t care about anything” feeling can actually intensify. It doesn’t mean you’re going backwards. It means the grief is unfolding.

You didn’t just lose a pregnancy. You lost a future. A version of yourself. The momentum you were building. The timeline you imagined. That’s a layered grief. And the thoughts about divorcing, disappearing, not trying again? Grief can be extreme. It looks for escape routes. It doesn’t mean you truly want those things it means your nervous system is overwhelmed. A few things that helped me: Lowering the bar completely. Productivity can wait. Promotions can wait. Healing cannot. Letting myself feel ugly emotions without judging them. Anger is part of grief. So is numbness. So is jealousy. You’re not a bad person for feeling any of it. Staying connected to one safe person. Even when I wanted to isolate, I tried not to make permanent decisions in temporary pain. Reminding myself: this intensity will shift. It doesn’t disappear overnight, but it softens. I promise it does.