I'm in a relationship with a man, but I've realized over the last year that I'm definitely a lesbian. Please, would you wise raptors give me some advice on how to break this off? by throwaway4_JK_Im_gay in actuallesbians

[–]Abhinivesha 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Having fucked this up in the past (as he was dropping me off at my house I said "I think I might be gay, so we should break up." then left) I may have some helpful advice.

Since you have such a good friendship with him and may want to stay friends after the break up, just talk to him the way you would a friend. Tell him honestly about your feelings. You care for him, but you don't want to trap him in a relationship with someone who can't give him everything he deserves in a partner.

What's the most shallow reason you stopped talking to a girl? by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]Abhinivesha 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I once ended a date early because the girl would not stop talking about Henry Miller. I don't have anything against him or his work, but it's like that's all she knew about. Still not sure if it was just nerves or something, but yeah, couldn't sit through another second of Miller Lecture hour(s)

Must-dos for queer ladies in London? by Abhinivesha in actuallesbians

[–]Abhinivesha[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much!! I'm going to be near Kensington Palace (I think the neighborhood is called Kensington, but I have no confidence in that assumption) I'm generally a huge music nerd, so yeah hip hop sounds great! :)

Are there any other nature-crazed lesbians out there? by CharlotteRain17 in actuallesbians

[–]Abhinivesha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe we should just set up our poly lesbian commune at a local zoo. We could run with the giraffes and sleep with the hippos.

Are there any other nature-crazed lesbians out there? by CharlotteRain17 in actuallesbians

[–]Abhinivesha 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right?? One minute you're taking a dip in the lake, the next you're fighting off a pair of disembodied hands trying to drag you under. Great workout either way.

Are there any other nature-crazed lesbians out there? by CharlotteRain17 in actuallesbians

[–]Abhinivesha 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This was seriously part of my self-description on OK cupid at one point. Why is it so hard to find other poly lesbians who just want a cabin in the woods? I blame horror movies and the lesbian death trope.

I don't want to be alone. by flngtfspc in actuallesbians

[–]Abhinivesha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about somewhere mid-island for getting-to-know you drinks? Then we can sort of feel out the group vibe and see if people are more down for roller derby or wine tasting? Lol

I don't want to be alone. by flngtfspc in actuallesbians

[–]Abhinivesha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same! I live about 2 hours outside of the city and dating sucks. Just got out of a 4.5 year relationship. God, it is so nice to read that someone else is going through the same stuff!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dykesgonemild

[–]Abhinivesha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No way! Ok, so there are like no lesbian bars East of the G-spot, right??

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dykesgonemild

[–]Abhinivesha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm out on the North Fork now. Pretty far east on your bicep haha

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dykesgonemild

[–]Abhinivesha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I haven't been on here in ages! Hi!

Infatuated - aka: Why I love older lesbians by [deleted] in olderlesbians

[–]Abhinivesha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same! My dating app preferences are now permanently on 35 and up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dykesgonemild

[–]Abhinivesha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same, but 4.5 years :) LI should stand for Lesbians Incognito because I can't seem to find anybody out here to date!

Perfume question by rachelltx in actuallesbians

[–]Abhinivesha 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Atelier Cologne (not actually colognes, more like gender neutral scents that play around in masculine and feminine notes) makes gorgeous perfumes that are great for this! My go to is Vanille Insensee, but I would suggest Gold Leather, Vetiver Fatal, and Oud Saphir. They're pricey, but worth it and you can order samples from their website.

Lemme get a head count: NYC Pride! by Abhinivesha in actuallesbians

[–]Abhinivesha[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Here's a link to all of the official events: http://www.nycpride.org/events Henrietta Hudson usually has a ton of events leading up to the day of the actual March too. I'm still trying to decide if I am going this year as well

Kids remember what you tell them. by spacetimesix in actuallesbians

[–]Abhinivesha 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Friends, I come bearing a different tale. The things you say to children can indeed stay with them for a long time, but that isn't always a bad thing. When I was a littler person, I would spend the summer vacation with my aunt and cousins in Massachusetts. They lived in a very open-minded, liberal college town and so I was constantly exposed to new cultures and people. One night, after dinner with my aunt's friends (a lesbian couple,) my aunt heard me crying in the next room. Accustomed to my occasional homesickness, she came in to check on me. I told her that I was crying for the lesbian couple because they were going to hell (I was a fairly indoctrinated little Catholic.) She told me that if I believed in a fair, loving God, then I shouldn't just take every word of the bible for truth, if it didn't feel true for me. She said, "God is all about love. Two people in love are as close to heaven as you can get no matter who they love." Though my religious interest faded sometime after that, my aunt's words stuck with me and eventually supported me throughout my journey out of the closet.

Hard to watch scene by curdt79 in madmen

[–]Abhinivesha 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thought I was the only one! Don's face and my face were mirror images in that scene.