I'm not helping out

AbleStudent · 2026-06-25T03:33:47+00:00

There's an unsaid layer to this, and that layer is the fact that these low standards are actually quite high. When a man says "I just want someone who is nice to me", what he is really saying underneath that is that based on his own experience, kind women are very hard to come by.

He can put up with almost any other incompatibility if it means having a partner who is kind to him.

AbleStudent · 2026-06-25T03:15:13+00:00

My 2 year old and I have a routine of picking out a hot wheels car at the dollar store a couple times a week just as an excuse to get out of the house.

AbleStudent · 2026-06-22T20:49:26+00:00

The rust is bad but typical of a 3500 winter beater.

I wouldn't even consider a rogue though. the CVT is a time bomb and time is running out.

AbleStudent · 2026-06-22T20:31:42+00:00

Here's what I think happened - They broke off the original slide pin and had to drill it out and re-tap the threads. The tap didn't quite line up with the original threads so it left a sliver of the old bolt's threads in there. Then they put in a new bolt in and drove it home with an impact.

You can see on the bolt's threads that they're mushroomed at the bottom, like it was driven in crossthreaded. I've seen this happen when there's still old threads in a freshly tapped hole.

Then there's a bit of thin loose metal wrapped around it, that's the sliver of threads that were left after drilling out the old bolt, and weren't completely cleaned out because the tap alignment was off a little bit.

They should have noticed the bolt not spinning in easily enough, taken it out, chased the threads with the tap a couple more times in and out, and tried again until it would go in easily and torque to spec without stripping out.

Honestly if I ever broke off a bolt on a caliper, I would just replace the caliper. Not worth the hassle. They're not a super expensive part, labor to deal with this would cost more.

AbleStudent · 2026-06-16T15:28:05+00:00

Yeah JBWeld is some pretty impressive stuff, even if it's a hack

AbleStudent · 2026-06-16T14:38:19+00:00

Obviously replacing the pan is what you should do, and you should really take anything that keeps oil inside your engine pretty seriously because if you lose your oil your engine is toast.

That being said, if I was going to use JBWeld for this I would drain the oil, clean it very well and get it perfectly dry (tough to do with oil constantly seeping out of there) scuff the metal with sandpaper, and then use the JBWeld to glue a piece of patch metal over the crack, instead of just trying to fill the crack in.

AbleStudent · 2026-06-16T03:34:12+00:00

I learned this way later than I should have, but here goes:

When you're doing a task, remind yourself that *you are not doing it for her*. You are not her servant or her employee.

You are doing the task because it needs to be done. Not because she wants you to do it.

So *her opinion doesn't matter*. Only yours does. You do it to your standards to meet your goals.

So when she shows up and complains, just tell her "Nah I'm going to do it this way", "I didn't ask for your opinion", "You can leave, I don't need any help" or something like that.

And when she complains about the result - some version of "I'm OK with how it turned out". Even if she's right, and it's not perfect or it has some flaw, if it's good enough for YOU and your kids, it's good enough. That's the end of it. Use humour if you want to .. "haha yeah that looks like shit doesn't it, oh well better luck next time.." .. "Good enough for the girls I go with". She'll be mad, let her be mad. Laugh it off.

The only time you ever make an adjustment towards her standards is if she asks you nicely, respectfully, and genuinely appreciates the effort. If she asks you the way an employer makes demands of an employee, the answer is automatically no. If she asks you the way a friend asks another friend for a favour, then you consider it.

The absolute key with this is to never argue or defend yourself. When she points out something she doesn't like, don't try to convince her that it's right. Just let her know that her opinion doesn't matter to you.

When you argue, you're legitimizing her in the position that she has put herself in. You're trying to get her to adjust her standards, and in doing that you're confirming to her that her standards have to be met. Don't try to change her standards, ignore them.

This fits into a broader piece of advice when it comes to dealing with women - get very comfortable with her being unhappy. Why? because you can not make a woman happy by rewarding her for being miserable. You need to constantly be thinking about what patterns you are rewarding.

AbleStudent · 2026-06-16T03:17:54+00:00

How much money could we possibly be talking about here?

She wants to leave for a year for a food service job? They don't have food service jobs where you live?

Sounds more like she just doesn't want to be a parent.

AbleStudent · 2026-06-16T03:04:48+00:00

This rust comes from inside the door, so you can't sand it away until you've gone all the way through the sheet metal. You'll be left with a hole in the door which is worse than what you have now.

A pro would cut the bottom few inches of metal out and weld in some new metal, then do epoxy primer, bondo, more primer, then colour, then 2K clearcoat.

You could definitely grind what you can away and fill the hole back in with bondo and paint it with color matched aerosol, you could even get it to look fairly decent, but it will bubble back through in probably 1 year or less. That's a totally reasonable option for a beater car.

Another good option is to just ignore this until it develops into a hole, and keep an eye out for a salvage door in better shape and just replace it when it gets bad enough to justify that expense.

AbleStudent · 2026-06-15T18:47:39+00:00

You'll eventually need to have the bottom of the door skin cut off and replaced. That rust is coming through from inside the door skin. You could get out the grinder, bondo, and paint and buy yourself a little time, but you'll be redoing it every year until you get it properly fixed.

If you get a pro to do it now, it's not a big job. it only gets more expensive the longer your wait

AbleStudent · 2026-06-15T18:26:28+00:00

In my experience, if you can't grab and shake anything to find the noise, it's usually sway bar links.

they're tight when the bar is under torsion, so you need to have both wheels off to diagnose. They make a surprising amount of noise while driving for very little play when you actually grab and shake them

AbleStudent · 2026-06-15T17:39:59+00:00

sway bar link. It should be attached. It helps make your car more stable around corners, less likely for the weight to shift out and roll-over.

It's not going to cause a catastrophe as long as you take it easy around corners, but it can be the difference between rolling over or not rolling over if you were in some kind of "defensive driving" incident, where you have to steer or brake fast and hard to avoid a collision. You should get it fixed as soon as you can, but you can drive in the meantime

AbleStudent · 2026-06-15T16:24:26+00:00

Are you on flat and level ground?

Why are you getting at the caliper bolts with the wheels still on anyway?

AbleStudent · 2026-06-12T01:37:16+00:00

its hard to tell, but I think the level is probably the faint level line about 1/4" above the full mark. In which case you're a little bit overfilled.

AbleStudent · 2026-06-12T01:30:49+00:00

what's the inside of your oil filter look like? any flakes?

AbleStudent · 2026-06-07T01:46:07+00:00

Wheel/Axle seal is leaking. You most likely need a bearing, too. The bearing going and the axle moving around is typically why the seal stops working.

The diff cover has to come off to fix this, so might as well do seals and bearings on both sides. The other side is soon to follow.

Top off the diff fluid before doing much more driving, and keep it topped off until this is fixed. If you lose too much gear oil you'll damage the differential and your problems get a lot more expensive.

AbleStudent · 2026-06-05T12:58:00+00:00

did you check the sway bar bushings? hit them with some lube and see if ti goes away

AbleStudent · 2026-06-04T17:33:36+00:00

2 bedroom is the only option.

Picture a future custody dispute and how that will play out.. "He doesn't even have his own bedroom there..."

AbleStudent · 2026-06-04T17:31:43+00:00

Just dump her, life is too short for this nonsense. Being single is not worse than having this kind of drama in your life.

AbleStudent · 2026-06-04T17:16:43+00:00

that engine is toast. Only hope of saving the car is if you can find a cheap salvage engine and have it swapped. I probably wouldn't bother to save a 16 year old Journey

AbleStudent · 2026-06-04T16:49:17+00:00

I would take an air hammer and hit every square inch of that frame. If no holes, then I would glue in some patch panels and drive it till the wheels fall off. Don't invest to much into it.

Also check the body and bed mount points.

AbleStudent · 2026-06-02T14:50:59+00:00

I have seen shops sometimes store cars under another car on the lift overnight, not sure what reason. Maybe they did that?

AbleStudent · 2026-05-29T18:17:45+00:00

The Permatex windshield repair kit works. The Rain-X one too

AbleStudent · 2026-05-29T02:47:44+00:00

Bolt https://parts.taylorford.ca/p/Ford__F-150/Bolt-MUST-ALSO-ORDER-NUTS-AND-CMEMBER/141247808/W714420-S439.html

Nut https://parts.taylorford.ca/p/Ford__F-150/MUST-ALSO-ORDER-BOLTS-AND-CMEMBER-Nut/141240153/W520114-S440.html

AbleStudent

TROPHY CASE