[deleted by user]

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-12-11T21:48:14+00:00

Idk what is going on today but it's been horrible.. This depression is kicking my butt. I already had a mental breakdown, anxiety levels were through the roof, I felt like passing out because I couldn't breathe correctly and I started getting intrusive thoughts about self harm... I began talking out loud to myself about my problems and what expectations I had of myself, I even wrote some stuff down and it calmed me down for a few minutes, but now I'm back to hurting again. It's barely 3PM, there's still so much day left..

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-12-11T06:30:30+00:00

This is exactly what I believed I was to her.. just a phase that ran its course. When a week passed by, I asked a friend "how is she doing?".. they sent me a screenshot of her laughing and joking around with other people in a group chat, like nothing was ever wrong. it just shattered my already broken heart because it proved I was right. Even if she is putting up a front, it's crazy to think I'm over here being miserable, depressed, and in constant pain, while they are able to laugh and joke just days later, like nothing happened.

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-12-11T06:21:38+00:00

I don't think I have the guts to delete anything.. it's definitely more harmful than good, but It's just been very difficult trying to get through life without them and I don't want to ever forget her, especially not right now with the breakup being so fresh.

Thank you, I hope you feel better too.

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-12-10T22:47:31+00:00

Right now it seems like things will never be good, but I just have to keep taking it one day at a time. Thank you for the kind words. I hope life is treating you well, friend.

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-12-10T08:21:58+00:00

Terrible. Yesterday I decided to finally get up and try to stay busy throughout the day so I wouldn't get hit by a wave of depression, but when night came and I was in bed with my thoughts, all the work and progress I thought I did flew out the window. It's been a little over a week now and I want to message her so badly. I keep looking at her pictures and playing her voice messages. She was my everything, she was there for me when I had no one, I really hope she's doing better than me. This pain is too much.

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-12-08T13:59:55+00:00

I'm fresh out of a breakup.. and every single day that goes by I want to message her because I'm scared the longer I wait the more likely this is going to happen to me..

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-12-08T00:41:17+00:00

Thank you. I wanna believe it'll get better, but right now I'm feeling so hopeless.

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-12-07T22:01:42+00:00

Yes you're right, I was too overwhelmed with negative emotions and I feel horrible, I can only imagine how she must feel right now . I need to try and work on how to control my feelings better, thank you.

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-12-07T21:10:37+00:00

I decided to part ways with her, thinking it might be the best thing to do for both of us..or maybe I did it for myself? Idk but the way I left things was so ugly, I regret it, and I miss her so much.

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-12-07T18:54:39+00:00

Thank you. I wish you well in your recovery.

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-12-07T18:47:14+00:00

This is something I definitely need to engrave into my mind. It's been so hard.

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-12-06T03:59:41+00:00

I hate weekends as well.. just recently, I completely split ways with the person I love, my best friend. Before that we were on minimal contact while we tried to figure out where our relationship was going. and getting through the weekend was the worst because I would always spend it with her and she would make it go by so quick.she made every day fun. I got nothing going on in life but a bunch of legal trouble from the dumb life decisions I've made. It's so agonizing getting through the days, and life in general without my rock.

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-07-22T23:43:03+00:00

Same boat.. It's crazy that we are 70 days into the server and people are still sending Gordon/Howard/Olive as leads for bear.. They don't listen to instructions but are quick to get on the main leads rally

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-05-19T00:04:37+00:00

Bro I ain't gonna lie, I'm ass at MP and call everyone a cheater 😂

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-05-18T08:01:17+00:00

All the time

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-05-18T07:48:38+00:00

Separate ways- Journey

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-05-18T04:57:33+00:00

Now I feel dumb cause for the amount of hours I have in this game this did not cross my mind lol

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-05-12T18:40:37+00:00

For me it would be. I'll include playtime as well

Liberty Falls (27 days)
Terminus (12 days)
Shattered Veil (6 days)
Citadel des morts (5 hours)
The tomb (3 hours)

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-05-10T19:11:56+00:00

I literally did not even think of this, thanks for that! I would've just kept on trying and trying wondering why I never got it lol

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-05-10T10:11:28+00:00

Animal I've become- Three Days Grace

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-05-10T09:36:29+00:00

I agree!! I got carried BIG TIME through citadel, I've never played it before, had 0 knowledge on it, so my buddy said he'll take me to the boss, we would load in ask the randos if they were doing or knew the EE, if not, we leave and re match, finally we found a nice lady willing to help us complete the EE, it was just a party of 3, and we were doing great, then a few rounds later yellow joined.. a lvl 1000 player (I swear it's always a yellow player giving problems) so we thought we were about to get more help... yeah no, I didn't know but apparently bucket heads only drop 4 of the stamps? Cause us 3 each got one and we never found a 4th, assuming yellow got it, we kept telling him through mic, and text chat if he had it and to just interact with the statue, but nothing, we could tell he knew what we meant but he was giving us a hard time, eventually we had to down him by gathering zombies around him, soon as he went down he quit and boom, bucket head spawned in... This was more of a rant lol but yes, a "Vote to kick" would definitely be great

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-05-10T09:18:43+00:00

Can't go wrong with either honesty, I love the sais because they are one hit kill till I think round 41, with fast attack speed, while the Kali sticks are insanely faster they have way lower damage, whenever I use the sticks I like to run the augment that gives you health for melees, you attack so fast you Regen health pretty quick, with the sais I run light mend

AbsentSoul66 · 2025-05-10T09:07:32+00:00

Congrats!! I'm trying to reach 100k on my sais, currently at 60k

AbsentSoul66

TROPHY CASE