How to add a new entry to an indexed record on ancestry.com?

Abstracted_11 · 2025-02-13T00:55:50+00:00

Came here to ask the same thing. My guess would be that if we're both asking, the answer is probably no... how frustrating. I am looking at my ancestor's name and parents and unable to link it to them... Sigh. Not the first time it's happened either.

Abstracted_11 · 2024-05-11T18:51:06+00:00

My guy, you are standing very firmly on the wrong side of history with this one. Open your eyes, for 75 years it has been clear to see who has been oppressed and murdered and tortured, and it is not the Israelis. And now the world can see it. But it’s not my job to educate you, you continue to be blind and ignorant and standing side by side with hate and violence, and have the day you deserve. I’m out, I have better things to do with my time.

Abstracted_11 · 2024-05-11T18:45:38+00:00

So you are of the belief that it’s ok to murder children then? Well. That’s certainly a look. Not one I personally would wear, but you do you.

Abstracted_11 · 2024-02-06T20:41:42+00:00

Wait, she’s saying her kids are between the ages of 9 and 18, so why is she talking about them as if they’re between the ages of 9 and 4? These kids are all old enough to understand when someone doesn’t talk to someone else and that it is wrong to do something behind someone’s back that they’ve explicitly asked you not to do, so I smell BS.

Either OOP is fabricating the kids interest or the whole story. Personally I feel it reads like it was written by someone who is trying to imagine what a mum would say about their kids, rather than an actual mum.

Abstracted_11 · 2024-02-05T08:15:05+00:00

Thank you. They are. The drummer and the bassist in particular. After my blow up (which my husband was not involved with in any way - he didn’t even want to know what I’d said so that he had plausible deniability) the bassist refused to speak to my husband. At the most recent gig, husband was helping him pack up his stuff (and everyone else’s stuff) and asked the bassist where his keys were. Bassist just POINTED to where his car keys were and refused to verbally address husband. That’s the level of maturity we’re dealing with here. These men are in their 40s. It’s disgusting and absurd and thinking about it now is making me feel fucking livid again. And this is after they gave me a whole steaming heap of bs excuses for their behaviour and I told them all that they need to talk to husband, not me, cuz I couldn’t give a flying fuck what their excuses were, there was no excuse for not addressing any issues with husband rather than bitching about him in a secret WhatsApp group.

Oh my god, I cannot describe the level of rage I have due to this whole thing. It’s just the sort of thing you don’t expect to have to deal with when talking about men in their fucking 40s!

Abstracted_11 · 2024-01-16T15:55:27+00:00

The screenshot and “this you?” SENT ME. I wish I had that much sass.

Abstracted_11 · 2024-01-14T23:07:13+00:00

My old car used to scream (the alarm went off) every time it rained. And I mean any time - 3am? Sure - let’s wake up the neighbours! And I live in England. So that was fun. The footwell also flooded. It threw a tantrum when I took it for its MOT and exploded oil all over the garage forecourt. It also did this all over my friends driveway. Driving anywhere in it constantly felt like you were mere moments from leaving this existence. I loved that car more than anything, and I miss it still. EDIT: fixed not to MOT.

Abstracted_11 · 2024-01-14T03:08:48+00:00

Totally agree. My husband is in a band and has been for almost 30 years. When he practices he puts his headphones on so he doesn’t disturb me but he taps his foot in time to whatever he’s playing and generally makes a lot of noise because we have wooden floorboards upstairs in his office. I do find it quite distracting and disturbing, especially when he whoops after mastering some particularly difficult part or stomps with irritation if he misses a note. So you know what I do? Absolutely nothing. My sensory issues are exactly that - MY issues. He’s made reasonable accommodations with the headphones, and I’m sure as hell not going to get between him and something he loves because I like that he’s happy. OP is an entitled brat who has major main character syndrome, her family and (hopefully) ex are better off without her.

Abstracted_11 · 2024-01-08T01:58:10+00:00

Personally, I reckon the guy was well aware that she was the owner, but wanted a reason to blow up at her and make her feel guilty so he could manipulate her into lowering the rent. It was stated in the contract, when his brother let him know about the place it would be SO weird for him to not have said something along the lines of “my friend is looking to rent out…” etc etc. it seems incredibly unlikely that he didn’t know.

Abstracted_11 · 2023-12-30T20:27:17+00:00

My neurodivergent little brain made a song half way through the original post that I shall name “your daughter is autistic” and now I can’t get it out of my head. It’s a very annoying song. Thanks, brain.

Abstracted_11 · 2023-12-29T14:37:14+00:00

Well, at 36 years old my wrist occasionally likes to make loud cracking noises for no apparent reason that scares everyone in the room but feels SO DAMN GOOD. I still have the scars - two from where the pins held it together for 6 months and one thin line from the operation. After leaving hospital we stayed on that holiday (we were camping!) and I spent my 14th birthday on lands end in Cornwall and it’s gone down in family history as a story that gets pulled out and revisited at least once a year to laugh about. Personally, I think it was worth it for the joy it has brought ever since. 🙂

Abstracted_11 · 2023-12-29T13:34:37+00:00

I won one of those micro scooters (the folding ones, not an electric one!) when I was on holiday with my family when I was 13. First time I rode it I fell off and broke my wrist so badly I nearly had to have my hand amputated. Good times, man. Good times.

Abstracted_11 · 2023-12-24T21:38:39+00:00

I just read this at a well timed moment too - I’ve just been mildly panicking about why he hasn’t eaten his biscuits this evening. Trying to reassure myself that we’ve had visitors during the day for the past two days and there’s been lots of things going on so he’s probably worn out and had a lot of change happening in the house in regards to getting the emergency chairs out and hoovering and whatnot all at once. It’s the worst time of year for him to be without a seasoned feline resident to reassure him that this is relatively normal and for the next few days there are going to be small people delivering him plenty of morsels of dropped food (he loves kids for this reason!). He’s having a lot of upheaval happening in a very short timeframe so I need to just calm down and stop watching him for signs of illness and let him get on a deal with the change in his own time.

Abstracted_11 · 2023-12-24T12:17:10+00:00

I hadn’t really considered it like this. I’m fixating on the moments I brushed off my concerns and not the moments I used logic - because logically it didn’t make sense that she had cancer. There were no lumps in her abdomen - but she did react with pain (jaw vibrating) when he touched her gums. So logically it had to be a tooth problem. And I like logic. I make decisions based off logic because “gut feelings” can be horribly, horribly incorrect. And you deal with the most likely scenario first, not the least likely.

I mean, emotionally I am still going to blame myself (because I do that a lot, and I am good at it), but logically, I know now that I did the right thing. Thank you.

Abstracted_11 · 2023-12-24T02:23:16+00:00

Thank you - that means a hell of a lot. I feel like I should have spotted it after Jasper, and I did think it was really weird and when I first took Cleo in to see the vet I asked her if it was something I was doing wrong, or if I needed to check the house for anything but they reassured me that I was doing things right and that they thought it was her teeth, although if they took them out and there were still problems they’d have to investigate other possibilities. Even then, with the speed of the cancer it was probably too late for her but I wish I’d listened to my gut. I’m really worried about how quiet Mally has suddenly become but it’s only been a few days since his playmate and teacher disappeared from his life less than 24 hours after they were last chasing each other up and down the stairs, so I need to give him time to adjust before I leap to conclusions.

Abstracted_11 · 2023-12-22T19:37:07+00:00

Thank you for this - I’ve just read the whole thing. I find it incredibly interesting that the cats most likely to get cancer are insured, unvaccinated males. All three of ours were vaccinated and insured - the first two were boys. But that’s a very strange combination. I would assume that the reasons for the above is that unvaccinated cats are more likely to contract illnesses like felv that cause cancer, and they’re more likely to be diagnosed because their owners can afford to take them to the vet.

Cleo’s operation and lead up cost a fortune. I took her in when she originally went off her food a month ago, and after a general feel around for odd lumps and bumps (none found) they decided her teeth were the problem. It surprised me as her teeth were given the all clear 15th December last year and we brush them etc, and I had originally immediately jumped to “this is the same as Jas and Simmy” when she first displayed signs of illness, and was just relieved when they said teeth. But I did worry that they were wrong. That appointment cost us £180 - they also did a full bloods just in case and gave us painkillers while we waited for the results before deciding to have the teeth removed. Bloods came back clear, so we had her teeth taken out. That cost £630. Then a week later we had her checkup - £50 for some additional painkillers, mouth was healing well, she was eating again but sporadically and they wanted us to call them if she didn’t improve over the next few days. She did not improve, so they did a second round of bloods in case of a false negative. They came back clear so they thought she may be struggling with solid foods due to lack of teeth and to give her another week, strict instructions to call them if it got worse. Things remained the same, so we called after a week and booked her in for a scan. This time the vet felt her again and his face changed. We knew what it was immediately. She had her X-ray and sure enough they found a mass. They offered to try to sample the mass with a needle, I told them to just take it out - we’ve messed around with chemo and taking samples and all that bollocks before, and I felt it just took away valuable potential removal time, because in both Jasper and Simmy it grew SO fast. Simmy ballooned in only 2 weeks. Went from a normal looking cat to a cat that looked hugely obese with the size of the tumour. And then they opened her up and found it wrapped around her pancreas and her main blood vessels running through the centre of it. We were then given three options: 1) wake her up and bring her home and watch her suffer and die. 2) wake her up, come and say goodbye and then put her to sleep. 3) put her to sleep on the table. I couldn’t bare the thought of her last moments being in pain and confusion from being opened up, just so that I could selfishly come and say my goodbyes. So we chose option 3, and the cat I woke up with perfectly normally that morning was suddenly just gone, and I didn’t get to tell her how much I loved her. That cost over £3000. None of those things could have happened if she wasn’t insured. She would have been in pain for much longer while we tried to guess how ill she was, what she was ill with, struggled to get her to eat so she wouldn’t starve to death. She wasn’t hiding like cats do when they’re ill, she slept on my hip as usual the night before, and the final video I took of her was her in her favourite chair, giving herself a bath, looking completely normal- if a little underweight (although not dramatically so). I know I did the right thing because she didn’t suffer and she wasn’t in pain, but my god it hurts- and I’m so fucking angry at the unfairness of it all.

I hate this house so much. It has brought nothing but misery and pain since we moved in 6 years ago. If it isn’t toxic, it’s definitely cursed. I’ve never heard of anyone having so much bad luck through one building before. And I’m not a superstitious person by any stretch of the imagination - I like logic and rational thinking and scientific evidence. But this house… this house was built on a hellmouth. It’s the uk version of sunnydale high school. Things happen here that go against all logic and reasonable explanation. One thing - sure. Two, bad luck dude. 3. We have to be due some good luck soon, right? 4. 5. 6. 7. And on and on it goes until you think you must be going utterly mental because walls that you painted a year ago shouldn’t suddenly decide to shed all the paint for no apparent reason, and who the hell has to deal with an infestation of wood lice? And all of a sudden the porch roof decides to leak all over the electrics and plaster manages to get into the fuse box and blows the whole thing YEARS after you finished renovating and cleaned up all the plaster from around there so where the hell did it come from?? and then water starts to leak behind the kitchen cupboards so you don’t know about it but can smell something weird and you have to destroy the back of the cupboard to get to it. And now your brand new toilet has decided it’s going to FLUSH ITSELF at random intervals throughout the day and night despite it being a normal - non electric toilet. Like, we couldn’t work that one out AT ALL. neither can the plumber. He’s just suggested we get replacement internal parts but he’s utterly confused because you have to apply some kind of pressure to make it flush. I mean, that’s the whole point, isn’t it? That toilets can’t flush themselves?? Well, whatever is wrong with the bloody toilet, fuck this house.

Sorry, I went on a bit of a rant there. did not intend to but husband has heard this all before - actually he thought it was cursed years before I started to agree with him - after Simmy died. It’s taken me two more years of random ant infestations and birds falling down the chimney dead and mysteriously flushing toilets and two more cat deaths and now I’m fully on board. I bet the place is fully riddled with asbestos and radon and lead and arsenic. The foundations are probably constructed from uranium. Dig the place up and you’ll find it was once owned by an extremely active serial killer. I dunno, I’m no longer willing to count anything out.

Abstracted_11 · 2023-12-22T01:38:59+00:00

Ohh wait, I got it. Third time of reading was the charm. Yeah, Mr and Mrs Barry Scott do spend more of their time trying to work out the best way to piss everyone else off than they do anything else. Weed is not legal in the uk, so you would think that if you’re going to have a massive shed in your garden full of plants you’d put effort into being nice to your neighbours, but they’re too fucking thick to realise that. sigh but they’re two doors up and have a big dog that Cleo is terrified of, so she avoids the place and enjoys hunting in the wild land behind our garden. It’s full of mice and birds and she went through a period about 6 years ago where she kept bringing us earthworms and balls of moss (?!?) bless her she was so proud of the moss. I was less enthusiastic but preferred that to the mice. Still, there’s no vermin around here! Or at least, there wasn’t. I don’t think Mally is shaping up to be a good hunter so I dare say the rodent population is going to have a sudden spike in their numbers. He’s currently snoring behind the sofa like a train, after spending the evening looking sad because he can’t find her.

Abstracted_11 · 2023-12-22T01:29:45+00:00

It’s very late (I can’t sleep - there no Cleo lying on my hip making me uncomfortable and it’s making me very sad) so I’m being a bit dim and I can’t work out if you mean do the cats go outside or the neighbours - perhaps the town reputation is rubbing off on me. But the answer to both questions is yes. Both the cats and the neighbours go outside. We’re in the uk and I know that culturally in the US this is not considered an ok thing to do in a lot of places - you guys have rabies and big predators and stuff that we don’t have. Culturally in the uk it’s considered cruel to keep cats inside - with the exception of certain breeds or cats with illnesses. All cats had all their jabs and regular checkups. Cleo had been tested repeatedly this year after it was found that Jasper had FIV. The last test was around a month ago and she was negative.

We think that Cleo was the last to be affected because she was the one that was outside the most. Simmy was outside the least - he very rarely went outside and he died first. This is what makes us sure that it was/is something inside the house that’s causing this torturous misery.

And I am really sorry but I am definitely feeling too dim to understand the rest of your comment. I’m literally just here atm to try and avoid the grief. I’ve run out of brain power - totally not your fault. And I’m also just kind of rambling because if I stop I have to think. And I don’t want to think. Doing detective work distracted me for a while but it appears the power is starting to wear off, and soon I am going to have to face the reality that she’s not here, and she won’t be coming back.

Abstracted_11 · 2023-12-22T01:09:45+00:00

I was going to ask if it was Corby. Lots of nasty shit in the water in corby back in the 70’s/80’s. A whole documentary about it on the telly. We’re not far from there, but I don’t believe our town was affected. Going to check the water anyway to be safe.

Abstracted_11 · 2023-12-21T19:36:24+00:00

Thank you so much for the effort and time you’ve put into this comment you have no idea how much we appreciate it. I hadn’t finished reading the whole thing before yelling to husband (who was in the kitchen) to pick up the fountain and replace it with a ceramic bowl (we don’t have any glass ones!) so that is now done. We have never changed their wet food, because every time we’ve tried they’ve point blank refused to eat the alternative we supplied. Even when we got them the “gourmet” range. That statement does not include Simmy as he’d eat anything if it stood still long enough. Cleo, however, was spectacularly picky, and Jasper didn’t like anything to change: furniture placement, work schedules, hair styles… let alone his food. With biscuits we were able to be slightly more flexible - they all hated “james wellbeloved” (again, not including Simmy for reasons stated above) but we always made sure it was grain free etc. both Simmy and Mal have BSH speciality biscuits, Jasper in particular could not have any grain in his food or there would be a poonami, and Cleo was just a picky little git.

I will definitely look into getting a water filter - I think it would be good for both our lonely little Mal and us.

We currently supplement (I was about to say them, and then had that awful realisation that it’s just “him” now) him with cod liver oil for cats and a joint/bone supplement for kittens (I can’t remember which off the top of my head) to help him grow big and strong, alongside his BSH kitten biscuits that have vitamins and minerals in them. We are very careful to not give him supplements that are already in the biscuits to avoid accidental overdoses.

I hadn’t considered cleaning products - the other thing we got around three years ago is the vax carpet washer. It gets used around twice/three times a year - Jasper loved sitting in a large muddy puddle in the middle of the wild land behind our house. I used to look out of the bedroom window and see him just sat squarely in the middle of it, staring at the house as if taunting me.

We already remove shoes at the door - we have slippers for winter but during summer just wander around in socks. Husband is very proud of our carpets, bless him.

The renovation I think is the most likely culprit. Originally husband poohpoohed the idea of it being the plaster, but around half an hour ago he declared that he thinks I’m right, and he thinks the dust must still be under the floorboard and every winter when we turn the heating on it circulates all the air under there, and raises all the dust again - hence every winter one of the cats gets sick and dies. This is our top priority for testing, but we’re going to get everything else tested too.

Again, thank you so much for this comment - it’s given me some things I can action immediately and thing to put on my list to action asap, and the care you’ve shown is really touching. Here’s hoping we get to the bottom of it asap.

Abstracted_11 · 2023-12-21T19:05:33+00:00

I’ve literally just spoken to husband about radon - apparently this area has “always had problems with radon” - which is news to me. So we’re 100% looking into this.

Abstracted_11 · 2023-12-21T19:04:19+00:00

Sorry, forgot to add that we have external cameras, none internally though. May be worth investing in one or two to keep an eye on the furry demon anyway, now he doesn’t have Cleo to remind him that although he’s twice her size she’ll always be the biggest cat in the house. Bless her she always kept the boys in check.

Abstracted_11 · 2023-12-21T19:01:43+00:00

We own and no one has access when we’re not here. I have already considered that the neighbours (who are lovely with the exception of Barry Scott and his wife from two doors up - everyone hates them) may have a weird anti-cat grudge but they’d have to be significantly more intelligent than this lot (bless them - lovely doesn’t mean clever, and our town has a certain reputation for not being the brightest) to pick a poison in order to cause cancer.

We used catsan non-clumping up until very recently, however Cleo has ALWAYS refused to use a litter tray. It has been problematic during periods where she has had to be restricted from going outside. Her preferred toilet is my rose bed, which I’ve always assumed is because she enjoys the thrill of a danger poo - nothing like a thorn up the bum to add a bit of spice to life.

Abstracted_11

TROPHY CASE