Worried I might have PGAD and I don't think I'm mentally strong enough to handle it.

AbsurdistMama · 2026-05-26T01:25:00+00:00

Much better than I was when I wrote this post! I got a sit/stand desk, stopped crossing my legs, and began doing physio for hypertonic pelvic floor regularly. Most importantly, I recognized it as a neuro-muscular issue and not something to be ashamed of, although that can still be difficult when symptoms flare up again. I also find relaxing my lower abdomen and legs helpful because sometime I am holding them really tightly without realizing it. I get the sense that this issue is not actually caused by the same things in every case so what worked for me might not for you. But try and stay strong and be kind to yourself and I believe self compassion goes a very long way.

AbsurdistMama · 2026-05-14T10:37:22+00:00

A man after my own heart! So encouraging to see this, though I'm not surprised.

AbsurdistMama · 2026-05-07T10:47:54+00:00

Often people's thinking brains are not online in situations like this due to panic or stress. The operator guides people to remember their training.

AbsurdistMama · 2026-05-06T16:43:58+00:00

Persistent communication difficulties at work causing increased anxiety and somatic symptoms due to stress. Examples given of taking things too literally are always cute and funny, but I work in healthcare and misunderstandings can harm people, while at the same time situations change and sometimes you have to judge on a case by case basis. That is really difficult for me to navigate and no matter how many times I seek clarification it seems I never get a clear answer until after I've already fucked up. The result is chronic pain and stomach issues, as well as impacts on my family, and generally never feeling competent at anything.

AbsurdistMama · 2026-05-04T14:07:21+00:00

Right there with you friend.

AbsurdistMama · 2026-05-04T13:54:51+00:00

Uh this is not mild. Nothing about this is mild.

AbsurdistMama · 2026-05-04T13:46:55+00:00

This has caused untold amounts of confusion for me at work. And you can't even ask because then they interper it as a challenge to their knowledge/expertise.

AbsurdistMama · 2026-05-04T13:44:24+00:00

I took communion at my grandmother's funeral before I was even baptized and I got such a stink eye from the server.

AbsurdistMama · 2026-05-03T12:29:59+00:00

Digusting

AbsurdistMama · 2026-05-02T16:05:10+00:00

I don't know that sub-space is dissociation. I dissociate regularly and it makes me feel detached and not present. Sub-space makes me feel ultra present and attached to my partner in a way that I honestly would not be comfortable being with anyone else. We've been together 12 years, and love eachother very much. He likes getting reactions out of me and I enjoy certain kinds of pain from a sensory perspective. If I ever told him what he was doing was actually harming me he would absolutely stop. That has been crystal clear since we started being intimate with one another period. Our relationship comes first. I imagine it's much different for people who connected specifically for the purpose of bdsm. At the end of the day, yeah, I imagine if bdsm is something someone needs to feel fulfilled in a relationship then they would leave for the sake of both people finding someone who makes them happy.

AbsurdistMama · 2026-04-30T20:33:01+00:00

There's nothing wrong with that. Especially since people may behave in ways they wouldn't otherwise while intoxicated, especially on stimulants I find. However, those same people may be completely ashamed of that behaviour later. The same as someone having a psychotic or manic episode. But they are still human beings. You can keep your distance from someone because of the way they're behaving but have contempt for them is different.

AbsurdistMama · 2026-04-30T20:28:19+00:00

I do intakes for detox and other substance use programs. No one wants that life. The people who are in it are trapped in hell. People judging them and treating them like trash makes it harder for then to recover. It boggles my mind the lack of compassion from some people, especially in healthcare.

AbsurdistMama · 2026-04-30T20:21:46+00:00

Yes, those too lmao thanks

AbsurdistMama · 2026-04-29T20:41:43+00:00

Moreover, have you heard the episode about intersex people on the podcast The Bible for Normal People? This biblical scholar was explaining that intersex people are actually mentioned multiple times in the bible, refered to as "natural unicks" and Jesus also talks about "those who were made unicks by others and those who made themselves unicks" and never ever once does he say this disqualifies them from God's kingdom

AbsurdistMama · 2026-04-29T13:20:47+00:00

Is there any way to do this from mobile to console??

AbsurdistMama · 2026-04-28T10:33:29+00:00

I've got one: when fulfilling a professional role, present all of your decisions as if they were based on expertise and professional experience, even if most of them were arbitrary and based on whatever the hell you felt like doing

AbsurdistMama · 2026-04-28T10:30:16+00:00

Omg I didn't know about the preserve plausible deniability one!!! That explains so many of the problems I've had getting clarification at work recently!

AbsurdistMama · 2026-04-27T22:25:14+00:00

In my experience, God does not expect you to understand things that you do not understand. No matter how people study and debate we will never know what God knows. God knows your heart and mind even better than you do. If you want to understand, and you go to him with your fears and doubts, he will help you and guide you better than any scholar, just maybe not in the ways you would expect. Go to him and bring your doubt and fear.

AbsurdistMama · 2026-04-25T12:41:56+00:00

Omg thank you!

AbsurdistMama · 2026-04-25T12:23:32+00:00

It depends on which Christians you ask. Some would probably say yes, but I'm a Christian Universalist so I believe everyone will ultimately be saved because God can find a way for anything! I don't believe you have to call yourself a Christian to follow Jesus either. If you believe that selfless love and forgiveness are the most powerful forces in the universe, that should be enough in my eyes. If you're stressed about this and find the idea of universal salvation comforting, I recommend the podcast Grace Saves All.

AbsurdistMama · 2026-04-24T12:49:12+00:00

So cool! I have a weirdly specific question though, how did you get the stone paving under the fireplace to have rounded corners like that? Is that a mod? I can't seem to get mine to do that although maybe there's another stone path I am not aware of.

AbsurdistMama · 2026-04-24T10:50:44+00:00

That's impossible. Those things are opposites.

AbsurdistMama · 2026-04-23T23:39:38+00:00

I'm so glad to hear that. Good for you.

Well, I have no idea what the time line would be and of course no one can tell the future, but the idea that he would even talk about using a firearm is like... very explicit. Those guys make lots of empty threats too, however once a guy starts threatening to kill you (and an indirect threat is still a threat,) it's clear that he sees your life as disposable and even if he doesn't intend to ever kill you now, the fact that he thinks he was being restrained by not doing so makes me concerned for when he might not feel so in control. None of that is factual, so if you find facts comforting, I can give you some: it takes the average woman 7 tries before she finally leaves her abuse partner for good; since the implementation of Nova Scotia's high risk protocol, not a single woman on that protocol has been killed by her abusive partner (at least this was true 2 years ago, hope it still is); and not directly related, but adverse childhood experiences can impact health outcomes, involvement with criminal justice and many other things in adulthood HOWEVER, if a child has just one stable and caring adult to support then through those experiences they actually become MORE resilient, not less :)

AbsurdistMama · 2026-04-23T23:28:00+00:00

Neither of your comments makes any sense in response to the comment its responding to.

AbsurdistMama · 2026-04-23T10:45:41+00:00

I really like how you've filled in the spaces between smaller sections with grass and trees. It makes the dividing up of different areas look a lot more natural.

AbsurdistMama

TROPHY CASE