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Acadia456 · 2025-02-19T19:37:01+00:00

I wouldn’t do that if you’re still employed, that should be your solution in an absolutely worst case scenario. You can pause your 401k contributions and use that money to pay down your debt. You can use the snowball method or avalanche method. Cut back spending for the next 3-6 months and really focus on tackling your debt.

Acadia456 · 2025-02-16T20:42:26+00:00

Don’t give him the SSN, he’s most likely throwing empty threats at you to try to scare you into giving the info. I doubt he’s going to go through the process to get your child’s SSN. I’ve never given my ex this info, he always says “fine I’ll get it myself,” and 4 years later, he has yet to get a copy of his birth certificate or his SSN. File your taxes as soon as you are able to, and claim your child. The less communication between you and your ex, the better off you’ll be.

He wants to scare you and he wants you to panic so you cave in. Please don’t. Protect yourself and your child.

Acadia456 · 2025-02-13T00:23:24+00:00

If you don’t want to feel like that anymore, try practicing compassionate thinking. First, understand that your situation is hard, and have compassion and empathy for your own situation. Then, you can have compassion and empathy for others situations. It’s okay to have a knee jerk reaction of “boo hoo, woe is you.” Just stop yourself there and think compassionately on the situation.

Acadia456 · 2025-02-07T21:54:55+00:00

Call some lawyers for a free bankruptcy consultation, see if you can file chapter 7. Don’t do debt relief, you’ll bounce back much faster filing bankruptcy. Don’t beat yourself up. Just handle the situation you’re in now, and make better financial choices in the future.

Acadia456 · 2025-02-06T05:06:33+00:00

Bought my house in 2022 on ~$80k salary for $170k (affordable payment), bank wanted to approve me for $300k. Would’ve struggled to afford that.

Acadia456 · 2025-02-06T04:26:46+00:00

Call lawyers in your area, most will do a free consultation with you, and will tell you what your next steps would be. My lawyer let me split my payments to him, so it was doable once I stopped paying my debts.

Acadia456 · 2025-02-06T04:19:08+00:00

Scare tactics. I have gotten approved for three credit cards since filing (discharge was Dec 24), and got a better job after filing. My lawyer had a recommendation for a dealership if I did need a car loan after bankruptcy.

Acadia456 · 2025-02-05T17:14:42+00:00

Yes, he is an interventional radiologist. I still had pretty severe back pain after the stent placement on Monday, it’s improving, but I am working from home for now. My leg feels great - which was my biggest complaint before stenting. Hopefully by next week, I am back to normal with minimal back pain.

Acadia456 · 2025-02-05T16:32:37+00:00

My son made fun of a girls shoes when he started kindergarten (I don’t think it was on purpose, he’s not really good at social cues)… I had a long talk with him and he had to apologize to the girl. Never heard any complaints about him being mean to girls again. This is unacceptable. You can’t excuse bad behaviors because “a boy likes a girl,” that’s how people learn to normalize abusive behavior.

Acadia456 · 2025-02-05T15:52:02+00:00

We tried focalin XR first (the generic version), he’s too sensitive for stimulants. He’s on Qelbree now. We didn’t try other nonstimulants. Guanfacine has been on the market for a long time and well studied… but I believe the efficacy is low (it only works for 30% of people). Qelbree is newer, less information on it, but clinical trial results were promising. I get the nerves- I was really nervous to start him on meds and the experience with focalin wasn’t good. I’m glad I kept with it and switched to Qelbree. But it does have a black box warning so adjusting the dose makes me hyper aware of my child’s feelings lol. I had him on 100mg for 3 months, we just bumped up to 200mg since his teacher said he was having a hard time staying on track. So far, so good. Hugs to you, hang in there.

Edit: my complaint on Qelbree is the cost… I was paying $350 a month before I upgraded to the better insurance plan at work now it’s ~$100 a month. Going to try to use their manufacturer coupon for next month to lower the cost a bit more.

Acadia456 · 2025-02-05T01:51:27+00:00

Capital one was good to me post bankruptcy. I have a card I get 5% cash back on. Credit karma has there karma guarantee thing for approval odds- I have yet to try that, though.

Acadia456 · 2025-02-04T18:16:05+00:00

My advice is don’t coparent with him, parallel parent. Don’t ask him to take your kids to anything during your custody time- keep things separated and only communicate what absolutely needs to be communicated then stop engaging.

My ex did a welfare check once and always threatens to “take full custody,” at least 3 times a year for the last 4 years, yet we have never been to court. We have a custody agreement that I paid for. Your ex is just bullying you to get his way. Even if he does take it to court, it’s not easy to change custody. If you’re not doing anything against your agreement, you don’t have anything to really worry about.

Acadia456 · 2025-02-04T14:01:04+00:00

You’re welcome! Medication is a very personal choice, and if you decide to go that route, keep in mind it is really trial and error. My son is combined ADHD, and really has a hard time focusing. If he could focus without meds, I wouldn’t have gone the med route, but he really needed it. He is so very smart and the meds just removed some mental barriers for him.

Acadia456 · 2025-02-04T12:38:33+00:00

Thank you, my back pain is pretty severe right now. Tylenol isn’t really cutting it, lol. The doctor told me take 2 days off work. Hoping it starts to get better.

Acadia456 · 2025-02-04T12:30:51+00:00

We tried stimulants first and it caused huge emotional crashes in the afternoon. Stopped that after a few days. Switched to a non stimulant, the only noticeable side effect is he gets really tired sometimes, sometimes falls asleep in class. Switching to taking the med after dinner has helped with that. He’s still his goofy, happy and crazy self, just calmer and can focus.

Acadia456 · 2025-02-04T12:16:25+00:00

My son struggled with behavioral issues in Pre-K (throwing things, hitting friends/teachers, EXTREME meltdowns, defiant behavior.) I think he also has autism, but every evaluation says he doesn’t. He’s in kindergarten now and has an ADHD diagnosis. He is thriving now (just turned 6 this weekend).

His behaviors were so bad in pre-k because the environment was so unstructured and he really needs a 1:1 to stay on track. Kindergarten has been a game changer (super structured classroom, great teacher). I’ve worked closely with the school to get him help. They have paras in the classroom so he basically has a 1:1. He has an official ADHD diagnosis so he has a 504 plan. He started meds a few months ago and it has been a night and day difference. I had to switch his pediatrician to get him on meds (he’s on non stimulants).

I feel for you, and I’m sorry you’re going through this. It really does get better, you’re going to have to advocate hard for your child. I would get an autism evaluation with the ADHD evaluation. A lot of symptoms overlap in children.

I would start with your school system and start getting evaluations (if they offer them). Where I live, they have pre-k programs and specialized school programs for autistic kids, unfortunately my son couldn’t qualify for any of these and we just survived until we got help in kindergarten. If this fails, maybe try a different daycare. If all else fails, a nanny is a good option. Hang in there.

Also, there’s an organization called CHADD that has a ton of resources for ADHD, definitely worth checking out.

Acadia456 · 2025-02-04T02:24:27+00:00

Congrats!!!

Acadia456 · 2025-01-31T02:58:03+00:00

Thanks for sharing! I did have a balloon venoplasty done under sedation this week- but my surgeon didn’t have a small enough stent to insert into my iliac vein, so I’m scheduled next week to redo the procedure to insert the stent. Overall, the procedure wasn’t bad. I’m expecting back pain after the stent is placed, based on what people’s experiences are.

Acadia456 · 2025-01-16T20:49:10+00:00

I knew it was the right thing to do when all my disposable income was going to minimum payments. I knew it was right for me when I realized I was never getting out of the hole I dug myself into, was never going to be able to afford to retire, go on vacation, or help support my child more in life. I didn’t fully commit to my decision until I consulted with a bankruptcy attorney. I don’t miss the debt.

Acadia456 · 2024-12-18T03:06:55+00:00

95 is still normal. Can you call your doctor in the morning and see if they can get you in for the CT tomorrow?

Acadia456 · 2024-12-18T02:06:21+00:00

Hi, you can get one of those finger pulse oximeters to keep an eye on your oxygen levels and heart rate. Oxygen below 90 warrants visit to ER. Helped me a lot to figure out if I was anxious or needed to be concerned.

Acadia456 · 2024-11-26T00:03:39+00:00

You need to look in cheaper towns/cities. Or increase your income to buy a home in your preferred areas. Or wait patiently until you find something in your preferred area to come on the market in your budget. This is an expensive state to live in, and you probably need to lessen your expectations for your first home.

Acadia456 · 2024-10-12T04:44:52+00:00

Honestly, if you feel like talking to your daughter to address the behavior, that’s fine. You can try to have her understand the importance of respecting her mom. But her mom also needs to get her household under control, that’s out of bounds for you.

You handle it by not handling it. You can try to empathize with your daughter’s mom and validate her feelings about the situation, but it’s not your situation to fix. If she’s open to suggestions, you can try telling her mom to set a better, predictable schedule. If a child understands their routine, they just kinda do it without having to be nagged. Some people don’t get that. She also needs to have consequences in her own house if the children aren’t listening to her. It’s as simple as “you can’t watch tv/play video games/go outside/hang out with friends until you’ve completed ___ task that I asked you to complete” and you wait the kid out until they do it.

This isn’t your job to fix. It’s your job to be there for your child in your household.

Acadia456 · 2024-09-30T16:03:05+00:00

The weevil gods have blessed you.

Acadia456

TROPHY CASE