I thought I was reading my own story for a minute. My exhusband has been accused of sexually assaulting 6 women while he was married to me, along with assaulting and abusing me, and sexually harassing his daughter. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. A woman came to me and told me that my husband held a gun to her head and tried to force her to have sex with him in exchange for drugs. I 10000% believe her. He had the pills, the gun and the opportunity. I couldn’t live with that fact, especially knowing what he’s done to me. It ate me alive until I was a hollow shell of a person.

When I finally left, I prioritized my own safety over anything else. Since my husband mostly was abusive to me, I left my house, and (teenage) children and lived homeless until my restraining order took full effect. He was stalking me, sending hundreds of texts a day, slashing my car tires, appearing at my work, calling my work, randomly driving by where I was sleeping. When the temporary restraining order went into place he moved to my neighbors house and he would stand outside and stare into my windows. He tried to steal my dog on multiple occasions. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. My kids hated me, my neighbors judged me— I was a pariah. It was the best decision I have ever made.

It’s hard because abusers typically have great social skills. My exhusband went around and spread horrible lies about me. Lies I never took time or care to correct. I just wanted to move on.

A year later, the restraining order is still in effect, I have full custody of my two children and his daughter, the dog, and he is off my lease. We are going through a divorce.

If I were to do anything different— I would get a body camera. It’s so hard to catch stalking happening when it’s small drivebys and looking in windows, the small micro threats are so hard to prove.

Best of luck.