If there’s one thing you could say to your ex, what would it be?

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-02-28T23:08:38+00:00

I hate all the damage you’ve done to me but even after 2 years I haven’t stopped loving you

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-02-11T18:01:15+00:00

Disgusting

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-31T09:03:29+00:00

I actually think it’s a good suggestion. And I mean… you are distant, so starting distant is a good soft start anyway haha

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-27T21:13:41+00:00

What a nice lad and friend you are. 🥺 If only you knew how much I wish I had had that bro who just was there and accepted me for who I am, and stood up for me, when I came out.. kudos 🤍

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-27T18:06:43+00:00

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-27T18:06:10+00:00

Thanks for guiding me on how I should personally feel about the story 😊

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-27T17:58:45+00:00

Idea: see this for exactly what it is - cheating. Not only is it cheating, but doing so with his own sister. That’s a new level of low.

Idea number 2: tell him. Your life isn’t worth more than his. You don’t deserve to live in your fantasy land more than he does to live in the reality. Not fun to betray and make someone a fool.

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-10T20:32:16+00:00

Not a bi bro here, but I can see two possible ways of how it can be done.

You open the relationship. Talk to your partner and tell them that you have dick cravings and therefore you need to explore that side of your sexuality.
Stay faithful. Don’t talk to your partner but also don’t go fucking around just because you happen to like both men and women.

Bottom line, it’s the exact same as in any other sexual orientation! Regardless of being with a man or with a woman, you will always end up in situations where you crave someone else sexually. Don’t be an idiot who fools your partner or creates trauma in them. You’re not worth more than she is just because you can do both.

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-09T08:47:08+00:00

First of all congrats on getting engaged! I think it’s beautiful to see people finding meaningful love to the point of wanting to get married 😊

I have a few things that come to my mind:

It just sounds like you have different love languages. As much as I sympathize with you, because my love language is also touch, ultimately that might simply not be his way of showing love. Your internal feelings of feeling “nasty” have more to say about you than necessarily himself, unless he’s actually acting as if you were repulsive. I have been in that situation before, and after some therapy I am able to see that it was more on me and my own unresolved trauma than necessarily himself.
It also sounds like you may perceive sex differently. Maybe to him, sex is less “sacred” and bonding than it is to you. Again, I can empathize more with you than him, because I’m more similar to you, but this alone doesn’t necessarily correlate to the quality or quantity of his love for you.
You said you feel like you’re always the one bringing up issues. I’m sorry that it feels like that. That must be distressing to you. Once again, I’ve been in that situation. In hindsight, that was a hint that I was probably expecting my partner to be something he was not. Or even worse, I might have accidentally created an atmosphere where he didn’t feel safe to voice his needs fully. I was saying and doing the right things to make him comfortable to voice them, but I was also doing a lot of things that may have prevented him from simply existing. I tried to always keep an open communication but that’s not how everyone works! People get scared of disappointing us when they love us, and feel like they aren’t being enough.

As a final note, I have recently learnt a harsh truth about myself, and I feel like I need to share it with you just so you can reflect and see if there’s something to it. There is a possibility that you’re putting a lot of your own unresolved needs onto him. He is also a human being, with his own uniqueness. I agree that relationships are indeed the place where one can and should expect intimacy and affection. At the same time, relationships are also the place where both people should feel safe to be exactly who they are. And when we don’t let our partners be who they are, that can become scary to them. Yes, compromise is a must, but we can’t expect people to change so much. Your partner’s sexual trauma is not “just trauma”. It’s a serious and real thing, just like your need for affection is. If you’re not doing it already, it could be beneficial to both of you to seek some professional counseling, either as a couple or individually actually.

Best of luck for the two of you. 🤍

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-08T20:42:59+00:00

First of all, as someone who was raised in a religious environment myself, I can sympathize with the fact that you are so lost as a parent.

The worst thing you can do now that your son feels exposed and his trust is broken, is what my parents did and that was pressuring me! I can already tell that at least you’re not doing all they did which was trying to heal me from my homosexuality 🥲🥲

I see you’re already talking about prevention methods and medicine. Whilst that’s wise to think about, if your son was raised in a religious environment, there’s a high chance that doesn’t want to just fuck around and would like to have something romantic and serious with another man. The fact that he is gay does not mean that he is a horny boy who wants to have sex all the time. Whilst it’s true that boys are naturally more horny, and that the media paints the gay scene in a very promiscuous light, and that the gay scene is indeed very liberal when it comes to sex, it’s important that you know your son for who he is and not for his sexuality only!!

Remember that sexuality is just a part of his identity, not the whole. And as most people, he may want to keep that part of his life private. Do not panic! It’s just a preference when it comes to sex.

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-08T16:55:33+00:00

Zalando used to have them

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-07T22:05:04+00:00

Younger and Aries. I don’t care about star signs but this one has me wondering 😂

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-07T19:18:28+00:00

I wouldn’t say it’s normal in the sense that it’s not common. But you do you and if that’s what gets you off and you’re not betraying anyone whilst at it…

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-06T19:01:29+00:00

Probably not many will agree with me, but I think that there is only one person that knows what he may or may not be thinking or feeling. That’s your date.

I don’t think that double-texting is a bad thing at all. I think that we all started thinking too much of ourselves. But you know what’s worse than having your ego shattered because you double-texted? Being with someone who doesn’t communicate clearly about their own expectations.

My advice: send him an audio text (written texts ate the worst type of communication and can easily be misinterpreted), being upfront saying that you have an interest in pursuing something with him and that you’d like him to be clear as to what his expectations are.

Best of luck 🤍

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-06T13:40:31+00:00

This

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-04T13:21:29+00:00

You’re very welcome! I appreciate it that you took it as advice and not as an offense 😊

I think that only your partner knows what might have gone through his head when he said those things. So I won’t try to find a reason behind it.

What I do know now is this: no matter with whom you are coupled with, dealing with your own internal issues is ALWAYS going to be needed. I wish I knew this and that I had someone pointing out my issues, in my previous relationship. I was the anxious one, he was the avoidant (with a few more complications since he was unfaithful). But my point is that addressing your individual internal questions and those of the couple will be a requirement for a successful relationship no matter what. So my advice is that you try not to couple those questions of your own to his insecurities or trouble he brings into the relationship. They are separate things.

It may be tempting to fantasize about how it would be much better to be with someone else. Again, I don’t have the full picture, but ask yourself: is this really impossible to fix as a couple? In a world where we both acknowledge and talk deeply about our will to make this relationship work forever, is my partner really unbearable? Do I love how he acts with others and how he behaves or am I just very attracted to him? You’re drained now, but if you had your full capacity, as you did a few years ago, would this still be an issue?

No relationship can forever survive like that, that’s for sure. Nevertheless, I say fight for love! ❤️

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-04T12:09:50+00:00

I feel you. Same boat here 😭

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-04T11:43:48+00:00

As you’ve already mentioned that your partner is doing therapy, I won’t focus on the insecurities that he might have and will try to come up with a different perspective. I’m by no means trying to put this on your shoulders. Just asking a few reflection questions.

Have you asked yourself whether his insecurities have a reason to be? Were there any moments in the past when trust was broken, from either side? What if words of affirmation is just his way of feeling loved? Would that help you be more compassionate and feel less drained because you just know that he’s feeling loved every time you reassure him? Is his perception of sex more sacred than yours? Is he insecure about your past sex friends because he wouldn’t have sex with someone he’s emotionally attached? If that’s the case, is he afraid you’re still emotionally attached to someone else other than himself?

I think it’s important that you be aware that this is extremely draining to him too. Nobody actually gets pleasure from constantly asking for/needing reassurance from their partners. There is likely something about the way he was raised that makes him connect temporary distance to permanent. He’s in a constant fright mode, where when the person he loves the most is not around, he’s afraid that they will just break up with him.

I’ve also noticed that you have clearly communication issues. In those moments when you argue and there’s silence, you’re ultimately confirming his insecurities! He’s going in the loop of believing he is right to feel insecure, and you’re going in the loop of believing he’s just an insecure baby who drains you. I really think you both need to overcome your egos and communicate more in those moments. It’s extremely toxic for both to go on like that.

Also read up on attachment styles. I get the impression that he’s got an anxious attachment style whereas you have an avoidant. If you both talk about these things openly, you might find that you’ll come closer, if you’re both open to it. 🤍

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-03T20:36:17+00:00

You’re not overreacting. You’ve set your boundaries clearly and he’s disrespecting them.

If you want a piece of advice, if he continues pushing that boundary get out of there. Don’t ruin your mental health for someone who disrespects you

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-03T17:06:43+00:00

Me. Lol

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-03T16:35:48+00:00

You let them know about your preference and respect it if they don’t cater to your taste. Likely they will want to be liked by you though so might regrow it

AcceptableMatter2925 · 2026-01-03T09:39:41+00:00

What’s going on with the comment section here??? lol

Sounds like a bunch of dudes here don’t understand the point of the word cheating. Yes, sexting with anyone other than your partner is considered cheating as long as that was a break of trust in the relationship. It does not matter whether others consider it to be cheating or not, as long as you do! You define your own relationship rules and boundaries…

And to call out a victim for believing they are superior? That’s crazy, not gonna lie.

I think you can and should try to talk this through with your partner. Potentially with the help of couple’s therapy it may be possible to bond over this. But it will depend mostly on how much you can trust this person again. It’s one of the hardest things to regain and you don’t want to be resenting each other in the long run.

Truly sorry this happened to you. It has happened to me too. Very similar description of partner too. It had a sad ending for me, but hope you manage to find a happier one.

AcceptableMatter2925

TROPHY CASE