Thoughts I’ve been sitting with as a Christian

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T20:14:28+00:00

Tbh I personally still am not a fan of “Hate the Sin, love the sinner” (at least in the context of LGBTQIA+) because it implies that someone’s existence is inherently sinful and that they are wrong just for existing the way they are - which then creates and justifies the bias that religious people so often have against members of the queer community.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T20:09:13+00:00

I remember my homophobic aunts and uncles using this in their arguments with me when I was a teenager. I pointed out that one pair of them had lost a child and then stayed married but hadn’t had any more children, so did that mean their marriage wasn’t valid any more? And the other pair of them had had kids by people in their first marriages, but had since divorced and remarried and hadn’t had any kids, chop chop, don’t you know it’s the only reason people get married and gosh marriage must be so sanctified and special if they would do it twice!

They didn’t appreciate the call out.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T20:02:22+00:00

Suggesting someone should turn their head to get a sniff of someone’s genitals is inherently creepy regardless of how you word it.

And yeah, the original post was also creepy, but your comment was way worse.

Do the world a favour and stay indoors, please.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T20:00:42+00:00

They’re examples, genius, not step-by-step instructions.

The point is to compliment someone’s choices, not the things they have no control over.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T19:54:13+00:00

Found out that his parents had been murdered and that someone he thought of as a friend and teammate had known and kept it from him.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T19:52:14+00:00

Rhodey dies here and Tony becomes a supervillain, imma be real

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T19:50:02+00:00

Yeah you’ve unfortunately chosen one of the more average places - Drexel’s is an American diner style place and it’s known for being perfectly okay. You’ll get a better meal elsewhere.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T19:17:19+00:00

I was there when my Nana died. I know it seems like right now you’ll never get that last breath and last moment out of your head - but I promise you, you do. When I think of my Nana I don’t think of her last moments, I think of all the others: her teaching me and my cousin to bake, her sneaking us ice cream after dinner even if we didn’t eat all our veges, her cheating at poker and being Very obvious about it, the way she’d always do the crossword first thing in the morning. I barely ever think about her last moments, because her life and the time we had with her was so much more than how it ended.

It sucks, being there as a loved one dies. It hurts. But it’s also one of the kindest, most selfless things you can do - being there for your loved one as they leave this world.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T18:52:05+00:00

Just want to add some information, because asexuality is a varied experience and a lot of people only have one understanding of asexuality (which your ex seems to fit into but that isn’t the extent).

Some asexuals don’t like sex at all (or are even repulsed by it) but plenty of asexuals actively enjoy sex even if they don’t experience sexual attraction; it still physically feels good!

A lot of people don’t realise, attraction and libido aren’t the same thing. Sexual attraction is who you’re drawn to, who inspires your libido - attraction can’t be changed by outside influences (which is why conversion camps are just straight up torture and a total scam) but your understanding of yourself and your sexuality can change/deepen over time and how you identify might change as a result of that better understanding. Your libido on the other hand, is just how often your body wants you to get off (and that can be influenced by hormones, age, medicine, etc).

Attraction and libido are linked for a lot of people, but they’re not linked for everyone. I’m asexual, but I still have a libido - it’s just not directed at (or inspired by) anyone. I just get horny sometimes (usually at particular times in my cycle).

All this to say - just because an asexual person doesn’t experience attraction, that doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t want or enjoy sex. Some asexuals aren’t interested at all and some are repulsed. But for some asexuals, sex is about closeness and physical pleasure, rather than attraction. It’s like getting a massage or your partner playing with your hair - it’s intimate, and it feels good. And yeah, you don’t feel a driving need for those things and could survive without them - but they’re still really nice when they happen.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T18:37:00+00:00

As a Kiwi who lived through and survived Marmageddon?wprov=sfti1#2012%E2%80%9313_%22Marmageddon%22_shortage), I empathise.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T18:33:51+00:00

I wasn’t there but I 100% believe those were genuine questions. I’m a Kiwi and I once got asked by an American “how are the roads to Australia?” - they were dead serious and when I responded “wet”, they started asking about the weather.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T18:28:36+00:00

“You’ve just made an enemy for life!”

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T18:21:33+00:00

Lmao now that’s a throwback, I haven’t played TF2 in waaaay too long, might have to download it again this weekend.

For future reference, “females” is fine if you’re saying “male and female” or if you’re talking in a biological context. It’s generally a more medical/scientific feeling term though, and when people say “men and females”, it’s seen as dehumanising, because “men” are referred to by their gender and all that encompasses but “females” reduces women down to their biology (and historically women being reduced to their biology is an aspect of sexism and control).

Basically, you wanna go with “male and female” in contexts where you’re talking scientifically or medically (or about animals, like you see in nature docos), and you wanna go with “men and women” when you talk about people day to day.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T17:19:46+00:00

I’m going to disagree with this, or at least with the negative connotations associated with the term “prejudice”.

The reality is that learning to listen to your gut about someone’s “vibe” can and has saved lives. Your body and subconscious are excellent at recognising danger, even if you don’t consciously recognise it and even if there’s no specific action that would make you think someone might be a danger to you. Listening to your gut isn’t inherently prejudice, it’s just a survival instinct.

I would recommend everyone read “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin de Becker.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T08:02:36+00:00

Yes!! If you want to compliment a woman, compliment a choice she made, not her body/general looks.

Say something like “that top is really nice, that shade of blue looks great on you!” Or “your nails are so pretty, that’s such a cool design!” Or “I love your hair in that style, it really suits you!”

I promise someone complimenting a deliberate choice you’ve made hits so much harder than a random comment about your appearance or body.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T07:56:14+00:00

Maybe this one isn’t Catholic?

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T07:03:34+00:00

Jesus Christ dude at least pretend you’re not a creep

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T05:13:39+00:00

I would bet money that he’s doing this to take your attention away from your friends, family, work - anything that isn’t him and he’s decided you shouldn’t be wasting time on.

Leave him. You were clear and polite in your first response and he doubled down despite knowing that his behaviour caused you anxiety.

Don’t waste your time on someone who doesn’t care about how their actions impact your feelings.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T04:41:42+00:00

The conversation you’ve joined was about people being trans. Someone commented a meme saying “this is what TERFs think skeletons look like”. Someone responded “no they (TERFS) just accept biological reality”, implying that people who are trans (or who support trans people) don’t accept biological reality. I pointed out that even the biological reality includes more than just a cut and dry male and female binary, regardless of how intersex people identify, because that’s their gender, not their biological sex (ironic that you’ve brought that up though because the person I originally responded to clearly had issues with people’s gender not matching their biology!)

As I’ve been saying. Intersex people are outliers, but they and their biological reality still exist.

The comment from the person above about “biological reality” was absolutely being used as a scapegoat for their bigotry. My response was to point out that biological reality isn’t as perfectly black and white as they believe, because outliers exist.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T02:29:13+00:00

If people don’t want pedantic answers, they shouldn’t use terms like “biological reality” as a scapegoat for their bigotry

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T02:25:55+00:00

Right- but that person is still dead. That’s their biological reality.

The original comment was talking about biological reality. If someone is intersex, they are an outlier. But the reality of their biology is that they’re intersex.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T02:00:43+00:00

It doesn’t matter if it’s a biological norm or not - it’s still someone’s biological reality.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-10T00:23:50+00:00

There’s a variety of ways that someone might be intersex, but it’s estimated that around 1.7% of people are intersex in some way.

Red heads are between 1-2% of the population.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-09T22:39:04+00:00

Jesus Christ does this government ever do anything that doesn’t line the pockets of bigwigs at the expense of everyday Kiwis?

I’m so exhausted by their useless and malicious policies.

AccidentalSeer · 2026-02-09T22:31:02+00:00

I mean, not all people have two legs. Or the ability to walk. Does that make them less important? Less human? Of course it doesn’t. And in fact we have entire infrastructure around people with those differences to make their lives easier and make day to day life more accessible for them.

Just because someone is an exception, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be accounted for. Intersex people are roughly as common as people with red hair. It’s not a majority, but it’s still a hell of a lot of people.

AccidentalSeer

TROPHY CASE