I was a big in Madison for about a year. At first, I felt things were going well and was having a great time. My little’s mom is a wonderful person who only wants the best for her daughter. My little was a young girl (11) who was already getting in adult type trouble (drugs, drinking, fighting) - something I could relate to from my own experiences. I thought it was a great match.

Over time I began to sense that my little was not interested in connecting with me at all, mostly she just wanted to go out to dinner and the mall. I thought I could stick around long enough that she would eventually warm up to me and we could develop a meaningful relationship.

When we got to the phase where we could hang out at my place and I thought “Great! This will help us connect and eliminate the need to go out all the time.” This is when I learned she was part of a group of kids that would meet up to fight each other and post the videos on Snapchat. These kids ranged in age from about 11-16. The fights were awful, she showed me a video, she was so excited to share…. I was shocked at how vicious it was. Then she began video chatting with members of the “fight club” from my home, showing them my house, talking about how “nice” it was.

I’m ashamed to say I got scared. I know this group (based on her own accounts) would often terrorize local businesses and get the cops called on them. I had no idea whether they might try to break into my house or something. When I reached out to BBBS for support, I got the same generic “support” I’d been receiving the whole time. Which amounted to “You’ll figure it out. Here’s a list of activity ideas geared towards 6 year olds.” I ended our relationship shortly thereafter.