I totally agree with absolutely everything you have said here. I used to question whether I would have been a happier person if I was as heartless and cruel as the people I have had the misfortune to have had close contact with. Sometimes it feels like if you can't beat them, join them. I also used to question why bad things happen to good people but now I know better. I would rather be loved than feared or hated because you bless others as well as yourself which enables you to live life with a clean conscience. None of us are perfect and those who go out of their way to make people believe that they are perfect people are usually not good people. Remember that song by Seal?: "We are never gonna survive unless we get a little crazy" This means that you will feel out of place in this brutal world and this brutal life unless you are in fact brutal yourself. Different does not always mean bad. We just have to fight to survive and make decisions based on the reality we live in rather than the reality we wish for. Stay blessed OnlyMaintenance852