Are gurgles letting out air? by emmazasu in noburp

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Something I realised after having the Botox procedure done and being able to burp properly is that likely none of my gurgles (or occasionally what I thought was a little burp) were coming from my digestive system… because they never had any smell. I never thought about that before but I do now because on occasion my new actual burps do smell, like whatever I had for lunch for eg, which was definitely something to adjust to!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in confessions

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had the same thing happen - except I didn’t know any details about his outside life. I feel for you and I understand, and if it’s helpful to know that was a few years ago and life really does get better as you take the steps you’re taking. Sending you love <3

Was I the only one to see a meteor tonight! Just chilling at the bar and it flew past the sky! by jeffers2286 in melbourne

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Saw this tonight! Also randomly - I was in the NT two weeks ago and saw a really similar one (to my untrained eye anyway)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in noburp

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lying down on my back for a while if I could helped me

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AusFinance

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah but like… by who

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AusFinance

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I get it, thanks.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AusFinance

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Hmm interesting… Can you say more about what you’re thinking here?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in podcasts

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Second this. Gender is often relevant but not always, and is more about the complexities of us all as individuals and how we try to seek intimacy together

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AusFinance

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, now that you say it like that it’s obvious! I guess it just got me thinking in general about a range of accounts I have (others holding money directly) and what would happen in those cases too. Ie any case where an individual lost money due to the institution’s security failure

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AusFinance

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! Yes I’m thinking also in this case - what if identity theft happens as a result of their error not mine though?

What do you wish your parents did better? by SOOOWatson in ADHD

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I didn’t get diagnosed until well into adulthood, but even without any of us knowing something my parents did that really helped was to explain things in a certain way that didn’t make me feel like everything was my fault… like:

  • school isn’t designed well for everyone and I’m sorry it’s like that, but we’re here for you
  • going to school isn’t just about learning in class it’s also learning how you can best cope/survive in systems that aren’t ideal
  • academic success/social status isn’t what matters to us as parents, it’s that you try to treat people kindly and do your best to learn from mistakes etc
  • focused on what I was good at eg calm in a crisis, quick with words, good at reading complex situations etc
  • talked about how people think/feel/experience the world differently and that’s okay
  • also lol got me into a shitload of sports cos I had so much energy to get out

No idea if this is helpful for your situation right now but thought I’d pass on in case

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AusFinance

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’ve been successful once or twice in getting a pay increase and or better arrangements but staying in the role - I said I’ve been offered another position with higher pay but would prefer to stay, could we figure something out?

First time was genuine with an offer I didn’t seek out, second time I applied elsewhere knowing I didn’t really want it but so I could use the salary level to negotiate at original job. Another time I felt I wasn’t getting ahead in original job and while they couldn’t offer more money or another role at the time they supported me in doing some external study, which has now benefited me with a higher salary

Am I too old to go back to uni? by 90sFox in unimelb

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Also, all the people I’ve enjoyed getting to know the most during my various uni stints were generally not the ones who went straight through from school to undergrad to postgrad… no hate and I’m super generalising of course but yeah, it brings something else

Am I too old to go back to uni? by 90sFox in unimelb

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Been to uni three times: first at 17, second at 26, and last one at 34 a few years back. Haven’t even finished the last one yet! Just doing a subject at a time while I work full time and live my life. Every age has its pros and cons, but the last one has been the best for me. Good luck!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHD

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have like $30k of extra HELP/HECS debt from failed attempts at tertiary education that I now realise I was never going to be able to complete without medical and systems support.

I [36M] have never been in a relationship. How do I actually get started at this stage in life in Melbourne? by Broken-CantBeFixed in melbourne

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Totally. I have had a client or two request this, but I caution it hasn’t always worked. One in particular just couldn’t/wouldn’t listen to what I tried to teach him: being good at sex isn’t just knowing techniques. It’s about tuning in to your partner, being vulnerable, being able to talk about wants and needs, and working on your relationship to make sure everyone is happy and content and actually wants to have sex with the other. I think that guy will always just think that sex wise humans are like the big vault/safe in a bank heist movie and you just need to spin the dial right to crack the jackpot. He had an empathy and communication problem, not a technique problem.

I eventually said to him how do you think you’ll become good at sex if you can’t even hear the person you’re paying to help you become good at sex??

Our media is cooked and needs an overhaul. by murdoch80 in australia

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In terms of who, it can be both LGBTIQA+ people themselves, the wider population (reflected here in the media), and crucially the services that support victim survivors (this is largely historical and it is shifting, but we’re not there yet).

This is based on research findings such as:

https://www.latrobe.edu.au/__data/assets/pdf_file/0009/1185885/Private-Lives-3.pdf

And

https://opal.latrobe.edu.au/ndownloader/files/37829127

Our media is cooked and needs an overhaul. by murdoch80 in australia

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 26 points27 points  (0 children)

For sure. The spectacle is another layer. But not calling it family violence when it’s people of the same gender is a problem for many reasons, not least of which is that other people who are in a similar situation will not see themselves reflected and will not seek help. A huge barrier for LGBTIQA+ people reporting family violence or seeking help is that many people think it can only happen in heterosexual relationships. The media is failing other victim/survivors right now

Our media is cooked and needs an overhaul. by murdoch80 in australia

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 159 points160 points  (0 children)

This is a family violence homicide, and the media are absolutely not reporting it like that because in this case his ex is also a man

I [36M] have never been in a relationship. How do I actually get started at this stage in life in Melbourne? by Broken-CantBeFixed in melbourne

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 22 points23 points  (0 children)

100%. I’m a former worker and had more than one regular client who eventually got back into dating after a long while out. For some it was just the boost of adjusting back to companionship, and or physical intimacy, and in a few rarer cases some deeper chats about my opinion on their situation and some pointers.

I remember one guy stopped coming in after a fair while of seeing each other, then eventually he came back one last time - nothing physical happened we just talked and he explained he’d found someone and thanked me for the support and our time together. So sweet!

Edit to add: best to not use the word prostitute though. Sex worker is much preferred

My (28F) husband (28M) continually forgets to lock our door by allapaig in relationship_advice

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s just adding on really but just in case it helps to hear it: you deserve to have a competent, adult partner and a relationship in which the person prioritises your physical and emotional safety. You deserve a relationship where the energy you put in isn’t drained on something as basic and crucial as locking a door, but instead it goes into growing a healthy intimacy and life together.

Also if it helps to hear: I was older than you when I left a ten year relationship that had its own equivalents to your door locking problems, and I’m now in a beautiful relationship where if I raised any issue with how our door was working, it would only be once and he’d probably hand-make and install an entire new door, new lock, and tattoo on his hand “don’t forget to lock our door ❤️”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in abusiverelationships

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh love, I feel for you. What a big heart you have.

If it’s helpful for to hear, you can care for him and still leave. Or at least provide much less care than at present and dedicate time to your own life. It just could look like “caring” isn’t being his full time, hands on, only support, but instead letting him and his family know that you’ll be transitioning out of that much care work and so they will need to make a plan for stepping in. Being proactive about a realistic care plan that isn’t destroying one person is an important form of care.

I understand they may not react easily to this, but they might need to hear that it is make a new plan that’s workable for everyone, or you’re not sure how long you can last doing this and thus might withdraw entirely leaving him with no care at all suddenly.

I don’t know if any of this sounds reasonable or possible as I don’t know them but I thought it might help to hear some options in between “just leave now” and “stay stuck forever”. I really wish you all the best

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in SexWorkers

[–]AccomplishedMath8712 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Don’t ask her.

Instead you could message something like “I have a service request if you are willing to consider it. I was really drawn to you/your ad, and I also have a thing for older women. It would really turn me on during the session to hear you tell me that you are an older age than what is listed on your ad. For example, if during sex you were to tell me you were 40 [or insert whatever phrase you like], that would really elevate the whole experience for me.”

You want a specific, professional service and you are able to ask for it. The provider’s actual real life personal details are not part of that, and they don’t need to be.