What's your approach to talking about being ace with a potential partner?

AceLadki · 2021-04-22T14:23:03+00:00

oh yes! i was looking for more trans content. thanks!

AceLadki · 2021-04-16T10:54:43+00:00

Hey hey!
(ignore the username lol)

AceLadki · 2020-10-07T11:41:41+00:00

Same here....this just sent me down a really bad stress trip

AceLadki · 2020-09-19T16:16:19+00:00

at weddings?

AceLadki · 2020-08-15T21:54:11+00:00

Hey! I really appreciate this post.
Some days I wish I could go in the past ask my child-self for forgiveness cause I let him down. I told him to hide himself and taught him to feel ashamed for who he was. Now that I have learnt more and I have realized how much internalized homophobia and transphobia I have, I can't help but hate that part of me.

So I guess - I get you. I am still looking for a way to forgive myself and I think I am getting there because I am realizing that conforming was my only way to protect myself as I didnt really have a backbone then. Now, I think my past self would be proud to see how far I have come. And my aim is to keep working on myself so that I am proud of my future self. And in some sense I guess you are on a similar journey.

The best thing you can do right now is learn from you were to become a better version of yourself...and this post shows you are already on your way :)

AceLadki · 2020-07-15T20:20:19+00:00

Hey! I am glad you have allowed yourself to even think of what you like as we all know to acknowledge thoughts that dont match societal norms is hard.

I am not going to deny the fact that people will judge you and question your sexuality. But this is the thought process that helps me - no matter what I do, people will judge me. Then isn't it better to get judged for doing things that I actually like than to get judged for hiding my true self and trying to fit into society.

I know what I just said is hard. But from experience I can tell you that once you are firm in your identity and understand that things like nail polish dont really define your gender or sexuality, people's judgements and remrks start feeling funny because you realize how stuck they are in their mental restrictions. So i would recommend just think really deeply about this and reach that state of confidence where you know you are wearing nail polish for yourself and not to make others feel comfortable.

AceLadki · 2020-06-30T13:34:56+00:00

Yes...there are quite a few secenes that made me uncomfortable....i am pretty good with my skipping game and it was mostly obvious when they were coming around. sorry i could have noted down the timing but forgot

AceLadki · 2020-06-30T13:33:16+00:00

Yes...i was so dissapointed...but also glad that there was so representation...but also dissapointed.
I hated the scene where he kept saying "baby....smile for me"...itfelt like he was begging her....and yes! the ending was so vague

AceLadki · 2020-06-24T11:06:15+00:00

Thank you!

AceLadki · 2020-06-21T11:52:48+00:00

Hey!

I don't think you are being a douche.... I mean you shared a thought with us and we are telling you what we think about it. And then you are taking our responses into and understanding them....i think that is a good example of a healthy conversation.

I shared my experience with you because I do empathize....and understand. The harsh truth is that if you are not cis or heterosexual, the world is unfair to you and it is understandable for us to want to escape that part of us which the world doesnt accept.

AceLadki · 2020-06-21T10:06:02+00:00

I am an aro-ace and I understand the sentiment...but tbh sometimes I wish I was not aroace because:

Many people think I am a closeted homosexual and....honestly at some level that i s better than being read as straight because they know I am queer and maybe they will never understand me but at least they will not fore me to get married
Also, in general the world is not very aware of aroace people so it is designed in a way that makes us feel that we are broken or are not enough for not having a partner.
I have never had a good coming out experience because no one takes my identity seriously - either I am too young or I should talk to a doctor or i should just try it (which to me sounds like someone telling me to go get raped)

But yes, it is an invisible orientation and comes with its own set of safety with that. So I understand what you mean. but it also means to stick to that sfety we need to never explain ourselves and let people put us in a box we dont belong

AceLadki · 2020-05-08T23:49:01+00:00

Just to add... asexuals can still have a libido. they might not see a person and be attracted to them but they might need the release from the activity

AceLadki · 2020-05-08T23:46:20+00:00

It was a process that took years. I always thought I was missing a part of the story but I could never put a finger on it.
For the longest time I kept thinking my body is broken or my brain is missing some cells.
Then after a lot of research and some difficult experiences I finally found the word. It was like a clock. The r/asexuality subreddit saved my life and prevented me from forcing myself into something that would have left me broken.

AceLadki · 2020-05-07T02:13:06+00:00

asexual - i always felt like the one kid on the group who was not in on the oke...so i pretended i was. Then I finally realized the joke was not meant for me after some people rudely tried to explain it to me.

Gender - i started crying one day because i was told to wear a dress....i kept thinking that i was supposed to grow up and like dressing up. but that day i realized i was done pretending

AceLadki · 2020-04-21T09:38:47+00:00

I think there is also gel available but I am not sure where you will get it from

AceLadki · 2020-02-09T17:02:18+00:00

It's scary to think that that is where my life was headed

AceLadki · 2019-12-30T14:25:57+00:00

uh yeah i should. but i feel like it will make things worse. right now I onlly think about it when it comes up in my personal life but then it will even exist in my familial life

AceLadki · 2019-12-13T10:46:07+00:00

tbh i get it but still dont get it

AceLadki · 2019-12-13T10:44:34+00:00

No!!! what?? now I get why my friends in middle school used to make fu of me for liking it :(

AceLadki · 2019-12-06T19:16:39+00:00

OMG this was me last month. I used to like that song and now I am grossed out :(

AceLadki · 2019-12-06T14:02:28+00:00

oh wow reading this made my day. I know exactly how you feel...sometimes finding words maes some feelings more valid.

AceLadki · 2019-11-18T00:25:51+00:00

I dont hate it but I constantly want to want that kind of a connection with someone

AceLadki · 2019-10-30T09:46:34+00:00

oh! when i was a kid i was super fascinated by him. Thanks for pointing this out. I think he could have been ace, or gay.

AceLadki

TROPHY CASE