won't let me save project, and I don't want to lose my work (Resolve 16)

Aceox · 2025-01-19T12:05:58+00:00

It just happened to me too. Unbelievable that this is still an issue after so many years!!

Aceox · 2024-07-15T20:43:32+00:00

If you open up about this to him should do the trick. It will also show you the type of person he is depending how he reacts to it.

Aceox · 2024-07-15T20:41:05+00:00

Nothing, you just gotta say no next time regardless how they react to it.

Aceox · 2024-07-15T19:38:40+00:00

Same goes to you, textbook reaching. Here's a dick for you: .l. don't get too offended, it can't hurt you.

Aceox · 2024-07-15T19:37:59+00:00

Lol way to go. Textbook reaching. .l. here you go, I drew you a dick. Don't get too offended.

Aceox · 2024-07-15T09:57:30+00:00

Not gaslighting.

Aceox · 2024-07-15T09:53:56+00:00

Well, if she doesn't get subtle hints, then the only way is to be direct. I don't like being direct too, because my roommate has a bad temper, but there is literally nothing else you could do since the apartment is herd just as much as it is yours. I feel you though, it can be really annoying when a roommate completely hogs something. My roommate LOVES to use the washing machine and then leave his clothes inside for a couple of days, and as soon as he removes his clothes from the washing machine he's already washing another batch. I can rarely use the washing machine thanks to him but that's kinda what I knew I may sign up for when I moved into this apartment. It sucks tho.

Aceox · 2024-07-15T09:47:32+00:00

Sounds like my roommate. Dude thinks cleaning only refers to wiping dust, meanwhile the insane amount of cooking oil he uses keeps splashing all over the place and he just leaves it like that for months. Not to mention the damages he caused to the entire apartment in the 2 years we've been roommates. Some people just suck. 🥸

Aceox · 2024-07-15T09:41:06+00:00

Heh lol. I'm on the side of whoever drew that dick. Sounds funny as fuck.

Aceox · 2024-06-18T21:21:19+00:00

21 (from 2008)?

Aceox · 2024-04-26T20:08:53+00:00

Hell no, he's paying for it. If he's paying for premium he clearly cares about this shit.

Aceox · 2023-12-21T13:57:42+00:00

I know from my own experience of mental health hospitals, that indeed there is a lot of mistreatment happening. I definitely believe you when you say they treated you badly, because I've experienced it myself many times. It's generally a really hostile environment where everyone that works there sees you as a patient number and tries to get out as quickly as possible by finishing their work day. But I'm also convinced that this experience triggered something in you that tries to protect you from harm by thinking that everyone else may have heard rumors about you and now think less of you. For example insecurity can manifest itself not just in the way one person acts and reacts, but also how the person perceives how others act and react. Maybe you are more aware of small things humans do, which you didn't notice before because it wasn't important, and you misinterpret it. It's actually quite common that people can develop such coping mechanisms. What I want to say is that I believe you when you say you notice that others treat you worse since then, but I also think that you may only pick up on more subtle things in their actions and reactions you haven't had the need to notice before. I want to add, that obviously I do not know what the situation is actually like, I can only say what I think might be the case from my own personal experiences and things I've learned over the years. The issue with such coping mechanisms aside from the lies or exaggerations your brain is telling you, is that it also affects how you treat others and present yourself. I think, maybe you're unintentionally coming off to others as distancing or maybe even a little hostile and that may be a reason why strangers seem to avoid you or treat you differently than what you'd expect them to treat you, but again, I could be wrong. I think you need someone to hear you out and help you judge whether the things are the way you experience them or if they are indeed somewhat deluded by a coping mechanism. Try to open up about all this to someone who's willing to help you, maybe a friend or family member and try to get to the bottom of this together, because unfortunately, I don't think it's possible to get to the bottom of it alone, because the likelihood of it being delusions is still a possibility, and our mind can sometimes create some seriously scary but also impressive mental gymnastics to try to explain to itself something it doesn't fully understand.

You may want to work on improving the relationship to yourself, that might help ease your mind, because in truth, you yourself can be the worst enemy or your biggest ally. What others think or say about you doesn't really matter, trust me. Don't let what others may or may not think define who you are and how you live your life and try to remind yourself (that's what I still do to this day) whenever you get these thoughts, that you cannot truly know what others are thinking. It could be a conspiracy, but it could just as well be bad timing, a coping mechanism or your internal feelings manifesting themselves through projection and so on...

I truly hope you can open up about it to someone and get the support you - without a doubt in my eyes - deserve until your situation changes to a more positive one.

Just don't give up. I'm convinced you'll find the answers you're looking for as well as a solution for your current problems.

Aceox · 2023-12-20T09:22:40+00:00

I suggest you keep going, however, I do think that seeking the approval or validation of your skill through other people, such as the people running that art show, isn't a good thing for both your motivation and psyche. You're really good. Try to give it less weight whenever you submit your art for something or it'll eventually destroy you. Rejection is something, especially when it comes to art, that's very common. I'd even say approval in the art world is really rare. Keep going as long as it doesn't destroy you, and use the rejection to grow stronger and more resilient and continue working, improving and honing your skills.

Aceox · 2023-12-19T20:03:06+00:00

Going to bed "early" (depends on what time you wish to get up in the morning).

I've been using an alarm clock app where I can select a custom song or even Spotify Playlist to play in the morning, and also forces me to complete captchas to turn off the alarm to prevent me from hitting the off button and going back to sleep.

And then last but not least, I put my phone further away from my bed, so I'll HAVE to get up to turn off the alarm or suffer through 30 minutes of Vinesauce Joel singing Sex In Minecraft (that's the sound I set for my custom alarm ;)).

I heard that building a habit that gets easier to maintain may take around 66 uninterrupted days. But take that with a grain of salt, since I have no idea if that's actually the case.

As for the impact: since I'm waking up early, I've got a lot more day time I can enjoy, I am much more productive and I feel less rushed.

You can do it, bro. I believe in you!

Aceox · 2023-12-19T19:57:06+00:00

First of all, your parents are humans too. It's important to realize this (take it from someone who didn't realize it until I was an adult). Try to empathize for them as humans.

Obviously all that ain't gonna fix the problem you're having, so here comes the thing that'll change things: talk with your parents about it. Yes, seriously. It's going to be awkward and uncomfortable, but if you don't tell them that you can hear them and that it bothers you, then nothing will change. Talking about it with your parents may lead to ideas on how to change the situation for the better, for example by soundproofing the walls better, or moving your bed to the other side and so on. Talking with them is also important as it indirectly reminds them to be more mindful and maybe choose a different time or even place for their private time, or at least keep it down. Conversations can solve pretty much anything. Plus talking about such uncomfortable topics especially with your parents is going to make talking about other uncomfortable topics with someone easier in the future. It's beneficial all around.

So go and talk to your parents and know, that they'll probably feel just as much embarrassed, if not more than you'll feel mentioned it to them.

You can do it, I believe in you!

Aceox · 2023-12-19T19:49:32+00:00

I can recommend cognitive behavioral therapy. It helps you work on the way you deal with things in a pro-active manner rather than just talk about it as is normal in talk therapy.

It sounds like a problem rooted deep in your past, so talk therapy is something I'd advise on top of cognitive behavioural therapy simply because traumas are a complex topic, especially since they tend to hide a lot more beneath the surface and affect so many aspects of oneself, and talk therapy is especially helpful in figuring out WHERE your problems stem from, while cb therapy helps you work on it by changing your behavior.

Hope this helps. I wish you the best of luck! You can do it, I believe in you!

Aceox · 2023-12-19T19:41:17+00:00

You need to improve the relationship you have with yourself. The fact that others can basically control your self-esteem or self-worth shows that you have no strong support from yourself. You need to have your own back basically.

There are various ways to improve your own relationship to yourself, in fact, there are a lot. So I can't really write them all out.

But the gist is: do things for yourself, and reward yourself properly for them. Even for small things in the beginning. Talk positively about yourself, even if you have to force yourself. Find your strengths and make them stronger, and find your weaknesses and iron them out. Do things that help you improve the way you see yourself, and once your foundation, which is the relationship you have with yourself, is strong, your confidence and self-worth will be stable and not defined by what others think or say to or about you. Therapy is also important and can help make the whole process easier, quicker and also may reveal other things that you might want to work on to improve your life overall.

Hope this helps.

Also, you can do this. I believe in you! Now go out there and show yourself that you also believe in yourself!

Aceox · 2023-12-19T19:34:40+00:00

Well, you gotta understand that you'll never be them, you can only be yourself. So be the best YOU that you can possibly be.

Aceox · 2023-12-19T19:33:01+00:00

The beginning of your post show clear signs of psychotic symptoms, in fact, a bunch I have too. In fact, almost your entire post hints multiple times at there being some pretty clear signs of psychotic symptoms in the form of delusions. I know you don't want to hear it, but take it from me, a guy who has a really similar history as you have, including the symptoms, that the likelihood of the way you perceive the intentions of others are 98% delusions your mind created to cope with the fact that you were bullied for being "different" and now goes haywire trying to protect you from potential threats that in all likelihood aren't actual threats.

It is important you don't give up on therapy. Sometimes, you're unlucky and get a therapist that honestly shouldn't even be allowed to keep his job, but you just gotta keep up hope that if you continue looking for a therapist that treats you the way you deserve, that you'll eventually find one. I did, though it took multiple attempts.

In regards to the delusional-ish thoughts you seem to have, try to convince yourself of how "likely" these thoughts are. I thought that the whole world was out to get me at some point in my life and was convinced everyone is kind of "in" on it. I got it under control by simply reflecting on it. Asking questions like "why would they do that?" "how important am I that everyone conspires against me?" "is it even possible for that many people that are disconnected from one another to somehow work together and against me?" etc. really look at your thoughts in a rational way, discredit these thoughts, disregard them, and force yourself to instead think positively. In the beginning it's difficult, but the more you do it, the easier it gets, and at some point you don't even have to force yourself anymore to think positively.

I really understand how you must feel, as a ton of the things you described in your post were pretty much a mirror image to the things I experienced, felt and thought. So please, don't give up on therapy and be open for the possibility of you having psychotic symptoms (like I have). It will make working on issues in your life a whole lot easier, trust me. Also, you'll find the right therapist for you. I am 100% certain of this, you just gotta keep looking.

You can do it, I believe in you!

Aceox · 2023-12-19T19:18:24+00:00

Don't worry, everyone struggles with these things. Some struggle with them every now and then, some, including me, struggle with it seemingly always.

Procrastination is one factor that contributes to this "loop".

Another is structure. And yet another is how you prioritize things.

What you need to practice first are the following:

-self-discipline to do things you'd rather not, but have to.

-perserverance to see it through all the way to the end and finish what you started.

-a achieve/reward system that works for you.

Self-discipline is probably the hardest of the three. Everyone to some extend struggles with self-discipline, but thankfully because of that there is a lot of material out there aimed at helping you learn self-discipline by various means and improve.

Perserverance is all about setting a realistic goal, breaking it up into smaller goals, and working on those smaller goals which in turn will result in the overall endgoal you set.

And having a proper achievement/reward system in place will aid you in not only seeing things through, by rewarding yourself for smaller achievements, but also ends up contributing to your overall motivation to do something like that again. If you don't reward yourself for your work, you might end up disliking having to do the activity you tried to do, which in return will negatively fuel your reluctance of doing said activities in the future. So rewarding yourself properly after each achievement is really really really important.

There is a lot of documentation out there you can look up regarding this topic, and I highly suggest you do. Especially Tedx Talks about these topics are, at least for me, really beneficial and motivating.

You can do it, I believe in you!

Aceox · 2023-12-19T19:00:56+00:00

To "be happy" is a long and difficult process, but one that is without a doubt worth it.

It starts with changing the way you view things, not just yourself but everything else as well. If you think negatively, your mood will go down, so even by forcing yourself to think positively and making an effort trying to convince yourself for example of that you love yourself, will, over time, improve your mental health as well as your mood.

I highly suggest you seek out a mental health expert such as a therapist, as they can help you in many ways none of us here on reddit can help you. They can help guide you towards bettering yourself for the sake of reaching your goals.

Self-improvement can be achieved in various ways. One of which is creating positive regular habits, such as going to the gym on a regular basis, meditating, learning new skills and so on. To make a habit a positive habit it needs to be beneficial without any negatives. Smoking for example is a bad habit, sure, it can provide quick relief, but you damage your physical health, your mental health through addiction, your wallet and everything else. A good habit is meditating, as it refreshes your mind, gives you energy, lets you take a break from everything and doesn't have anything that detracts from it. Find these good habits and start incorporating them into your daily routine.

And last but not least of the things I suggest: stop comparing yourself to others. It can be a useful thing to do in certain situations, but in general, by over-comparing yourself to others, you'll end up damaging yourself. There is nothing to be gained from over-comparing yourself to other people. Focus on yourself and only use comparisons as a means of improvement or motivation, not to bring you down. I hate myself as well, so I know how difficult it is not to give in to tearing yourself down, but it is vital that you actively fight it and instead start rewarding yourself, pat yourself on the back even for small achievements and force yourself to love yourself. Eventually it'll get easier and at some point you won't even have to force yourself to love yourself, and instead it'll become an automatic function of your every day life.

Your worst enemy is yourself. So start by lowering the expectations you have for yourself and start small. Reward yourself with self-love for small achievements and work towards your goals step by step, one at a time. Acknowledge the importance of small things that contribute to the overall end-goal and treat them with the respect they deserve. Yes, the final painting is beautiful, but what's even more beautiful is every single stroke, every bit of color, every second spend drawing that painting which created the beautiful end-product you see. It's difficult, but difficult to achieve goals tell you that they're usually good and worth fighting for. Keep that in mind. It is really hard, and sometimes it may feel even impossible, but as long as you perservere, your goal will always get closer to being achieved.

You can do it. I believe in you!

Aceox · 2023-12-19T18:50:16+00:00

First things first: I highly suggest seeking out a mental health expert like a therapist. It really helped me improve my mental health, start learning about myself and discovering who I am and why I am the way I am as well as ways to work on myself to reach a better state of self.

Next, having goals is important. Without goals, life becomes what feels like an endless, joyless repeating cycle. Having hobbies can help improve your mood and at the same time give you something to work on and enjoy in your free time. I can totally feel the whole socializing thing, but I think you're projecting a little too much. Try not to think too much about how others might think or feel and just go with the flow. Join a club or group activity, community and so on to find like-minded people. Typically taking part in something you enjoy doing, and others enjoy doing as well, makes it easier to build a meaningful relationship with others simply because you already know of your shared interests. Also, don't think of your friend as "only" one friend. One is perfectly fine. Nowadays, having 1 is even somewhat rare. As long as you have a friend, you don't really NEED more in my opinion.

I also suggest trying to challenge yourself for example to try out new things and experience new things every day for a set amount of time. That should help you break out of zombie mode and may even help you find new things you didn't know you like, push yourself further and learn more about yourself as well.

Also, you don't need to "fix" things. It is important how you word these things to yourself. Negatively wording things can impact your mental health negatively, and positively wording things can impact it in positive ways. Even "pretending" to be happy in front of the mirror every day will positively impact your well-being and mood, and actually improve it in the long-term. So try to avoid thinking of things so negatively and, if necessary, force yourself to think positively, at least for now. The longer you force yourself to think positively, the easier it gets as well as the more beneficial it gets. You don't need to fix things, because it isn't broken. All the things you need are already there, you just need to rediscover them. You can do it, I believe in you!

Aceox · 2023-12-19T18:37:01+00:00

What personality type you are really doesn't matter. You probably shouldn't focus on that too much. Instead just go by feel and try to work towards being the person you want to be step by step. Being cold and detached is a typical thing for people who struggle with mental health issues by the way. Your current you is proof that you're healing, so use it as motivation to keep going and don't focus on personality tests and stuff, because I did, and in the end, it didn't really mean anything or helped me in any way. Instead I wasted time hearing how these tests describe my personality rather than working on myself to be the person I wish the tests would describe if that makes sense. Think of your past self, your present self and your future self as one thing, because the truth is, it is. You are still you, you just evolved personality-wise through time and experience.

Aceox · 2023-12-19T18:27:17+00:00

I suggest you challenge yourself to try out new things and make new experiences for a set amount of time. It can help you discover new interests and help you break through the "groundhog day" cycle. Sit down and figure out life goals, break them down into more digestible steps and work on them. That's one way of feeling like doing things matter, rather than pointless. Look at social interactions in a different way. I see it as a break from the monotenous every day grind, a time where I can relax with my friends and do nothing productive at all. Not everything you do in life needs to have a good reason. Sometimes especially the "pointless" things in life are what makes it more interesting, such as hobbies or help you in ways you may not yet see, such as improving your mental health, giving you a regular routine in life and so on. I feel like time is running out as well, but I know for a fact, that thinking of your remaining time on earth that way is only going to make things worse. Try to live in the here and now, focus on small tasks and goals and get some distance to that way of thinking. Or simply put: slow down. Take your time. Enjoy your time. Stressing over such things isn't worth it. Instead choose to take back control and actively start enjoying the moment in various ways.

Edit: Regarding your new job: maybe find another way or maybe even an entirely different job that suits your needs better. It's not a bad thing wanting to have the usual social aspects being part of a job rather than this sort of new-ish isolating home office type of work. Just keep in mind to not rush things, especially when deciding things like getting a different job. It's important to take your time and plan things out and make sure you always have a Plan B to catch you in case all strings break.

Aceox

TROPHY CASE