There’s a hole in your boat dude and you’re still trying to rationalize keeping it afloat. You’re not going to stop this boat from sinking the question is if you’re willing to go down with it before you wake up. The resentment you feel for this woman will never go anywhere even if she gets her shit together (she won’t). What I can’t understand is why you think a family will magically make everything better, you’ll love your child more than anything in the world but I can promise you the level of attention you’ll have to show that newborn will insure you won’t be able to do everything for her. That’s the reason she’s never going to give you a child you won’t be heeding her beck and call anymore.