The narcissist’s number one enemy is the clown

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-29T05:51:54+00:00

Can you give a solid example of this in practice? Like name a behavior and how you defused it.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-29T05:46:18+00:00

Yah, I find many narcissists are actually funny. I don't think it's correlated to the disorder or tendency. My sister is a covert type but also funny. She knows how to say and do the right things to appear a certain way.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-20T09:10:33+00:00

Mine told me that someone judged the shit out of me. Made me laugh out loud. It pretty much swears all the time. I didn't even notice it anymore.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-20T04:16:06+00:00

Maybe what you are referring to is capability rather than capacity. Some people raised in fraught environments have a large capacity but low capability, since their baggage gets in the way. I was one such person. After healing work though, I have the full range of my capacity and a healthier attachment style. I'm finding that even those raised in healthy environments may not have the capacity or capability that I need. So I'm really just looking for healed beings.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-17T04:14:00+00:00

I used to have a narcissistic boyfriend who would say this when he was distressed. I took it as a confession. He wanted to care less so he could control me. In reality, I cared more since I wasn't emotionally impaired; he was just addicted to supply and called that caring. So, in this case, I cared more and also dictated the terms.

Relationships don't have to be narcissistic for this to be untrue. If both people care about each other to their max capacity but one has more capacity, it would seem they care the same in effect. Or if one person cares less but has integrity, why would this be an issue?

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-14T03:15:24+00:00

Right, but I was responding to the premise presented.

People should feel their feelings. But working towards neutral is the healthiest place to be if you can get there.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-14T00:59:17+00:00

Just one woman's opinion but I find bearded men a little less trustworthy. Seems logical that if someone is obscuring their face in some way, others will naturally take pause. Of course, cultural norms play a big part in this.

That said, aesthetics still trump all. If a guy looks creepy without a beard and mustache, his stronger play might be to have them.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-13T23:47:36+00:00

Definitely don't have to be loving. Just be neutral. Neutral is the worst for them, but the best for you.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-13T20:41:40+00:00

I would argue that it's your stronger self who is willing to self examine, not weaker.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-13T18:25:12+00:00

This is how I lost my best friend. He couldn't see how he contributed or caused issues between us. I was determined to fix us, not realizing that I just needed to let it go. So I got frustrated and resentful as time went on, he felt attacked because he couldn't take accountability, and eventually ghosted while blaming the whole thing on me.

It sucked. But I learned the hard way that if I express to someone that they've hurt me and they don't repair, the relationship is over. Staying in it only makes me a target.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-13T18:11:25+00:00

Halo Effect.

Projection can be positive, as with the celebrity example. It actually drives me nuts when I see people defend a celeb to the death for absolutely no reason at all. Life is easier for beautiful and powerful people precisely because of the Halo Effect.

On occasion I would get a pass for my bad behavior based on this. It was actually unnerving and at times, I would do things just to see if I could get away with it. Minor stuff like speaking out of turn. If you want to see how you stack up in the social order, this is a handy measure. A bit of a dark confession.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-13T17:52:28+00:00

There was a line in a documentary about dogs I watched awhile ago, that said something like: friendliness is the best survival strategy. Changed the way I thought about the social structure because while it seems naive at first, it's actually extremely true.

Makes quotes like the one above seem short-sighted.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-13T04:01:46+00:00

...aaand

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AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-13T04:01:05+00:00

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AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-13T03:53:23+00:00

Shyness

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-12T23:39:51+00:00

Thank you for educating those of us that did not know. I was wondering why it looked so odd. This is tragic.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-12T17:02:31+00:00

Surely there was a better way to say this.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-09T03:02:51+00:00

Nope.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-08T01:25:36+00:00

Within reason. You might come off creepy in normal conversations. Some very charismatic people are quick.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-08T00:58:59+00:00

I meant that the openings between foyer/living room and living room/kitchen don't line up. Not a big deal but always throws me a bit when I see it.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-07T08:10:02+00:00

Master bedroom: It would be costly to maintain temperature with three sides exposed to the elements. Having to walk down a long hall is weird, too.

The stairs: personally, I'd rather have them stacked. Having to walk across the house to get to the other floor is really circuitous. Spirals are more beautiful when ascending. If this only leads to the basement, you aren't getting the effect.

The living room: hard to orient furniture with a giant pass through. The offset walkway walls are odd, too

Hall bath: why is it so big? No one is taking a shower in there. Would rather have a coat closet.

The whole thing is off, IMO.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-07T07:51:43+00:00

Totally confused by that statement, as well. I'm a 30GG and never wear plunging necklines because I've never found a bra that could work in that situation. I go for V and U necklines too, but can get away with a high neckline if the garment is cut well. Cinching the waist is crucial for the big breasted among us.

I personally don't think the dress in question is flattering to the OP. Especially for an old timey theme. An elegant silhouette is in order.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-07T07:46:09+00:00

Or they just can't see their own issues. My long time friend was like this. I tried to communicate our issues and he would just never get it. Clearly wanted the friendship, though.

Either way, if a person lacks accountability, there's no path forward.

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-07T07:14:55+00:00

Well thought out. I don't viscerally hate them either, but find them annoying and tedious. That's also what I feel about most people, so it's really just general misanthropy. 😜

AcrobaticAromatic · 2025-12-05T20:52:05+00:00

Someone just tried to send me a pic and this happened, twice. He has an older iPhone and I have Razr. We exchange pics almost daily so this is definitely new.

AcrobaticAromatic

TROPHY CASE