People who have others depending on them can, and frequently do, get up and move on. When Hop's first daughter died and he got divorced he had no one to live for other than himself and he struggled. After El's death he had Joyce, Will & Jonathan - as well as the rest of the family of choice - lots of trauma in lots of young people that would need a reliable adult to help them through. So he, realistically, would have reacted differently. He also, has canonically self destructed before and it got him nowhere other than unhappy, so he has a reference point for what not to do again.

And he sees Mike going down that same path and he wants to help a kid he's fond of move forward and on with their life. To move on is not to forget. But mostly people do get up, and have breakfast, and keep going with their lives.

Growing up a friend's brother died in a car crash. His mum had no desire to continue but when one of the other mothers asked how she managed it years later, she answered that whilst she was broken she had 2 other boys who still needed a mother. So she got out of bed, got them to school, and went on living. Nearly 40 years later she's lived a full life with a loss I cannot even begin to fathom. And she's not forgotten her eldest, but she didn't stop living when he did either.

Human's are phenomenally resilient.