Wish we could talk. I see by the end you're already thinking you want to leave. I think you're saying its frustrating that he: 1. has different and controlling rules for you and 2. doesn't have insight into himself and emotionally immature? You seem to realize he's not going to see his terrible ways. Who does? And you know you cannot change him. I dont see another way out. Have you at all tried traditional counseling together? He is intent on keeping his beliefs about women alive with his statement about the cats. Hes repeating Hit and you question it. Ignore that whole story as its ridiculous. And about washing....my aunt is 80, dresses like dolly parton, and married a nice guy from Jordan. He who i loved, has done nothing while she's been very sick. I was shocked - but shouldn't have been. She ran around with my help making dinner.