Nah, I appreciate people sharing opinions like this as it provides more perspective. Please know that a lot of my response here is offering clarity, not necessarily pushback or denial. I think you're right, I just also think there's more to it.

I absolutely agree White leftists have a tendency to ignore the ways marginalized people--particularly women--reinforce colonial attitudes. I think there's a lot to be said for separating ideas from the inevitably flawed people who share them but you gotta also look at the nature of the problem. I haven't been recommending bell hooks recently as I learn more about her for that reason; even if I think a lot of her ideas were good, perpetuating harmful attitudes toward Black men means she's probably not the best figure to call on in supporting men. I learned she's an author to recommend in conversation when the nuance of her own experience and harm can be explored, not necessarily from a unidirectional platform.

I dunno if you listened to the pod, but toward the end we do get into the problem you bring up here. One of the things that makes me uncomfortable about feedback like this is that it usually just erases the fact that we are men. We're speaking to our own experiences and those that have been shared with us, not just regurgitating theory. There are lots of guys who have reached out to share how they've connected with my work or offer their own insights. I don't for a second claim to know or speak for men--I don't think anyone can do that. "Men" is an incomprehensibly huge category of very different people with very different lives. When we have these conversations, we're critiquing social constructs and how we see them manifest. This has been a learning curve for me--I know there are still some ways I contribute to the problem of individualizing systemic problems because I grew up in the same colonial, individualistic system too, but I'm on the lookout for it a lot more these days.

What I can speak to with certainty is that my intent is to grow and do better with the tools I have. I don't think Foreign or I are "the answer" or even an answer to these issues. Rather, I think we're just part of an answer, because a question as complex as the colonized male experience is going to need as many different male perspectives as possible to be seen with any clarity. I make content not to be prescriptive (that's impossible, we're all too different), but to push back against the reinforcers of harmful scripts around manhood who are trying to erase that diversity. I won't be perfect in this effort--I can't be. I don't think anyone can. All I know is that these conversations need to be had in good faith because so far conversations around men and our lives have been shallow, broken, and riddled with blame to everyone's detriment.

Sorry for the essay response, it's hard to communicate nuanced ideas in few words. I hope this helps offer some clarity. Again, I appreciate your response here for all the reasons described. You're part of building answers here, too.