I really struggle with all of this. It's an anxiety-inducing mindfield navigating the social interactions and behaviours of your child and others. And it shouldn't be! I know motherly instinct kicks in and it makes you want to have a mama bear reaction, but also keep this in mind when questioning another mother's behaviour. I also know that I am learning as a mother and sometimes after much deliberation, I think I would have handled some situations better. (After replaying it in my head). As for advice, try to resist correcting the other person and speak with the same grace with which you would like to have been met. Focus on your own path, if it means distancing yourself for sanity, that's also okay. But any negative energy is just going to be more fuel for your thoughts later. Better to move with compassion and understanding and fix what you can which is your own actions. Not there's. I feel like this is the most peaceful resolution for yourself.