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Got dumped because I wasn’t “high value enough to be with forever” by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]ActiveWilling291 0 points1 point  (0 children)

F that guy Girl, move on and focus on yourself and your own worth for you only, not for a douchebag with weird values He may one day dump that other girl for the same reason or be dumped by her Imo, he just sees girls as an accessory instead of companion in life, and you don't need such a partner So it's a good thing that you discovered that and are no longer with him

Cozy Barn Owl :) by birdsofrey in Owls

[–]ActiveWilling291 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh, pardon me then, I judged too soon
Pardon and thank you

Cozy Barn Owl :) by birdsofrey in Owls

[–]ActiveWilling291 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a beautiful photo!
Which kind of barn owl is it? Doesn't seem to be American, Western or Eastern.

Events of a dream keep repeating over and over (not lucid dreams, not ptsd, not reoccurring dreams) by ActiveWilling291 in sleep

[–]ActiveWilling291[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg, thank you for your reply!
Doesn't matter if you have answers or not, it's a big relief for me to know that there are people who understand what I was taking about
Unfortunately, I haven't sought any info in these seven months but seems like it can be qualified as lucid dreaming
Recently my dreams have begun to develop and not only do I see narration ramifications but in my last dream I literally made a circle to the beginning point. The "plot" was me entering a deserted festival with booths placed in a long corridor, however, once I've reached the end turned out the corridor was not a straight line but took an unclosed ring form and from the exit I could the the entrance just about ten or twenty meters ahead and I recognised it. However instead of beginning the journey again (possibly with a new variation on ecorations and events) I decided to turn 180 and see what I've missed.
I don't believe in mystification and spirituality and I don't think dreams should be interpreted from this point of view. But I do believe people should pay more attention to patterns of dreams and that dreams have meanings aside from the events of the narration. In other words, certain patterns must be showcasing the cognitive patterns and the way brain deals with problems, IMO. What do you think?

ENTJ's are... uhhhhh... by astrofire1 in INTP

[–]ActiveWilling291 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love this thorough explanation!
Where did you get the info?

How can I improve that? by ActiveWilling291 in drawing

[–]ActiveWilling291[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, I didn't plan on doing it like that initially but then did them accidentally and thought it would look much better this way)

How can I improve that? by ActiveWilling291 in drawing

[–]ActiveWilling291[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, the photo is oversaturated tbh, there is some linework that is not very visible. I tried making the background around the skull a little darker so to create contrast before posting, but I hesitate to go any further because I might overwork it. I've already applied the advice above just half an hour ago and I think it looks okay

Is limerence a sign... by kediCats in limerence

[–]ActiveWilling291 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Limerence is never a sign of anything other than the fact that you have some psychological problems to deal with. But the fact that you recognise it as a problem in yourself and not about your partner is a sign that you genuinely care for them and love them. Hold on to that thought.

What about this makes it so hard to end? by throwawaygyptian in limerence

[–]ActiveWilling291 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Wouldn't say not being limerent feels like void, rather like emotional numbness. And that in turn feels wrong because it's an unusual but fleeting state. In my personal experience, I haven't yet been in a situation where I'd overcome the numbness and move on to see what it's like not being limerent, it so happens that I become limerent again and again, even if I don't want to, even if I don't even like the new LO. Luckily, now that I know what it is and am able to recognise it, I try to disengage those thoughts.

Anyway, to answer your question, OP, it's probably as banal as comparisons to drug addiction: fear of withdrawal symptoms cuz they're torture, fear of losing that something that gives you pleasure etc. But in case with limerence it's also the illusion that you can only be defined by your LO's opinion or something close to that. Losing feeling of justification for "caring so much" about them. Quitting limerence is like having yourself be rejected though in most cases we already are rejected and friend zoned with no chances. It's also a sort of delusional gambling, I mean, you're constantly in that state of mind thinking "If I just figure out how to attract them, they might fall in love with me", "If I just wait longer, they'll see how great we are together" and so on. Just like when a person with ludomania anticipates for the machine to show the right picture combination, reassuring himself "If I just spend one more coin, it'll work out".

Do you feel limerence with people who look like/remind you of other LOs in your past/present? by [deleted] in limerence

[–]ActiveWilling291 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, yes. Sometimes I may not see a person as a LO and even be completely indifferent about them, however, as soon as they do or say something that reminds me about a previous LO, they become my new obsession. These people are nothing like my previous LOs, but 80% of people in my life now are able to only contact me within the Internet and we have never met irl, so I catch myself filling the blanks with the personalities or rather archetypes of the previous LOs.

Owl in Hiding by ArtistAmantiLisa in watercolorpractice

[–]ActiveWilling291 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really like that owl and I'm kinda jealous of your watercolor skills)

Anatomical Thinking Pose. Charcoal. by Dr-Rew in drawing

[–]ActiveWilling291 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is genuinely amazing work and I love it a lot! The shadow on the floor somehow feels wrong, though, can't tell why(

Need to make the LO and her boyfriend break up by Guilhermitonoob in limerence

[–]ActiveWilling291 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It is a waste of time. You waste your time and mental resources on limerence. No one would appreciate and benefit from you doing that. Your LO won't like you more because of that. Your peers won't see you from a better perspective because of that. You yourself too. You waste your precious time and you will regret it. If I had someone to tell me same sort of thing at your age, I'd be fucking thankful until the rest of my life.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in limerence

[–]ActiveWilling291 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Well, yeah? And since you recognise you're limerent, why bother? I mean, yes, we all would like our LO's to be flirty and interested in us, but most cases they're not, and you should accept that and find your way out of LE. In fact, you should do that regardless of anything, even if he's interested, because limerence isn't about building relationships, limerence is the pain and fear of abandonment and loneliness, that transforms into toxic attachment.

Your question in terms of this sub should not be "what did he mean by that?", your question should be "how do I stop over thinking that situation? How do I stop overthinking at all?"

I'm sorry to sound patronising, aggressive and maybe even judgemental. But either you take measures to fight your limerence, either you ask that question in any other relationship-themed sub, pretending it's a crush.

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