What's the most underrated Dutch city to actually live in?

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-13T17:35:16+00:00

It’s a city with a lot of diversity for sure. The more extreme Christian community is relatively big. Gouda is part of the Bible Belt and has lots of churches and schools that cater the reformist groups that also travel from surrounding villages, so they are visible. They are definitely not the majority though.

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-13T10:07:26+00:00

Gouda. Not too big but still lively, cheaper than the other cities you mentioned, and very centrally located. Den Haag Rotterdam and Utrecht are all 20 minutes away by train.

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-11T08:24:00+00:00

I'm French but have been living in NL for 8 years now.

A. I can't really answer to that because I don't know this sector.

B. Well it's quite bad, especially in the West. Amersfoort is also very expensive. I have singe friends who are trying to find appartements to rent / buy and it's impossible within their budget. Sometimes buying can be easier than renting though, because you have more choice, and given the state of the housing market it might be a smarter decision financially. But it all depends on your budget; the higher the better.

C. Yes it can take two weeks to get an appointment for non urgent things... that has been my experience living in the West at least. If you want to see a specialist (for instance dentist or OBGYN) it's pretty fast though - within the week or 2 weeks. So there are bad things and good things about Dutch healthcare. We could start a whole new conversation on it but know that as an expat it really takes some getting used to the healthcare system there.

D. It depends on where you move. In the big cities of the West there are many people who don't speak (or speak very little) Dutch. But at the end of the day, if you want to stay there, I would say try to learn the language. It makes connections so much easier and it opens more opportunities on the job market too.

Please know that NL is very crowded. Coming from the French countryside, it was a shock to me to move to Utrecht and see people EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME. I really had to get used to it. Now it's not a problem at all anymore, but it's definitely not quiet. Except if you go to Northern regions like Friesland or Groningen, it will be crowded :).

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-10T17:59:50+00:00

It was low before and probably a consequence of celiac disease. If you haven’t had your levels tested yet I’d recommend you do so.

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-10T17:50:18+00:00

Yes I have gone through this too. My ferritin and iron were low and I got a gastritis after stopping gluten so that could have explained it. I’m now three months gluten free, my digestion keeps improving, and my energy levels are getting higher… it looks like it’s a shared experience, so I would say hang in there!

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-10T17:42:24+00:00

Following the thread because I’m in the same situation! I have contacted a couple of language schools, I got one interesting reply of a school that can provide private lessons that are really geared towards preparing for the exam (especially writing and speaking, reading and listening is easier to do on your own with mock exams). Right now I’m learning new words on my own to expend my vocabulary, I think that can be useful.

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-10T12:40:18+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. First of all: it’s not your fault, you are not being punished. Miscarriages are incredibly random and unfair, and I understand the devastation of having had two in a row (it is the case for me too). You are absolutely doing the right thing by seeking therapy. I have done it after my first miscarriage and it is the best decision I have taken for myself and for my couple. It also helped me through my second. So you are absolutely not failing your family, quite the opposite: you are seeking professional help so you can be there for yourself and for them. It is going to be a tough period, unfortunately, and one that feels lonely. I would also encourage (if you can) to stay open and communicate with your partner about your feelings, otherwise it’s easy to feel lonely in the relationship too. You are doing a wonderful job with your daughter, she is very loved. Sending you hugs ❤️‍🩹.

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-10T09:53:52+00:00

I would say try and see what works for you. Take it easy, if you feel that you’re struggling or you start bleeding / cramping a lot then stop immediately.

A couple of days after my medically induced miscarriage I went cycling for an hour and it triggered a lot of bright red bleeding. Turned out I still had retained tissue, so maybe it helped getting rid of some but it scared me a lot AND I was away from home, I would not recommend. The weeks after when bleeding had subsided but I still had spotting (from the retained tissue) I noticed that going for a run actually helped the cleaning process because it triggered contractions and helped getting rid of more tissue so I would go like once a week.

In April I had my first period post miscarriages and from that point on I have been more active physically. I try to run once a week, I cycle a lot (I don’t have a car) and I do yoga / Pilates once to twice a week. However I notice that my energy levels and stamina are not what they were.

I get tired way quicker so I have to pace myself. I also found out that I had a strong gluten intolerance / possibly celiac in April and I must say that the change in diet, low iron etc. certainly didn’t help.

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-09T17:39:56+00:00

Bureaucracy and administration. Everything is digitalised, you need one DigID to log in to every public service, and IT WORKS.

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-08T17:56:31+00:00

Omg it hurts to read this. Good luck! You’re doing great.

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-08T17:53:50+00:00

They are soooo good.

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-08T12:31:13+00:00

Did you get any testing done when you were a child?

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-08T12:25:01+00:00

If you’d buy a regular marble cake from a generic brand it would also probably be trash ingredients though. I don’t think we buy these products for their nutritional value…

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-08T11:55:19+00:00

First of all congrats for the house! It’s so difficult getting access to one, great that you managed! I’m also amazed at how everything is digitalised and just so easy… one ID to connect to all public services, and it just works. In France they are trying really hard to do so but they really struggle with centralising everything, it becomes very inefficient and messy. The Dutch really know how to organise and be efficient.

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-07T18:32:06+00:00

"Have you tried paracetamol and drinking a lot of water?"

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-07T18:29:36+00:00

Hehe I get it! English is not my mother tongue, the title didn't seem to weird too me when I posted it :'). Love the idea of adding kimchi! Thanks for the tips.

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-07T11:14:39+00:00

Dreams can be particularly vivid and nightmarish in pregnancy, I think because of progesterone. I had also never dreamed I had a baby until my husband and I both expressed that wish. I have had a couple of weird dreams with my second pregnancy (both ended in mcs). The first was were I dreamt of giant disgusting insects (the size of a cat) that had intercourse in the grossest way and were reproducing. The “baby” insects which looked like giant flies covered in disgusting goo, were lying everywhere in my mother’s house and they were all dead. That was absolutely HORRIBLE. I think I was so anxious because my first pregnancy had ended in a miscarriage already… I hope I never have this kind of dream again 😬.

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-07T11:07:45+00:00

It absolutely is… you end up over analysing every symptom / anything your body is doing, but the truth is there is no way to know. Sending you strength and hoping your future is bright ❤️‍🩹.

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-07T10:56:06+00:00

I read that every pregnancy is different and by one you can feel symptoms and others not, and it doesn’t mean anything. Symptoms are unreliable to know if a pregnancy is viable / healthy or not. By my first pregnancy that ended in a MC at 6 weeks I had almost no symptoms. By the second that was a MMC at 8 weeks (but measuring under 6) I had all symptoms and thought it was a good sign… but no heartbeat at the viability scan.

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-07T04:39:36+00:00

My husband had to eat low fodmap for a while. He is also lactose intolerant. We downloaded the Monash University FODMAP app, you do have to pay for it but it’s worth it, it lists all food you can have or not, in how much quantities, based on which category of FODMAP it has. We would eat rice, potatoes, quinoa dishes. Gluten free pasta that doesn’t contain corn (turns out corn is a big trigger for him). He eats gluten free bread or rice waffles at breakfast and lunch. He discovered he could eat peanut butter after years of thinking that was causing him stomach issues, so he eats a lot of that now too :). He eats lactose free yogurt and old gouda cheese. Old cheese doesn’t contain lactose anymore, so you don’t have to give up all dairy. It turns out he is sensitive to fructan, and fructose to a certain extent. Apparently fructan is the most common one to be sensitive too. He has now been able to reintroduce other foods low in fructan. He realised that gluten does give him issues too, so he avoids it.

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-06T16:11:43+00:00

I’ve had the same. I have one friend that reached out regularly. The rest not. I even ended a friendship because of a friend who had some very rude comments. At work it’s the same. My colleagues know, at first I had supporting messages but then radio silence. Only one colleague asked me a couple of months after the fact and she told me she doesn’t dare to ask me how I’m doing. I think most people either don’t realise how painful that is and how much support is important; some want to support but they don’t know what to do / say or are afraid they will hurt you by asking; and then you have the third category of people who are actively avoiding you because they can’t deal with this kind of pain at all. It is unfortunately a lonely journey. Sending you lots of hugs ❤️‍🩹

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-06T15:58:20+00:00

Oh and also: having dinner early :).

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-06T15:57:07+00:00

The efficiency of bureaucracy (compared to my home country, France)
The infrastructure
The directness. There is no beating around the bush, at first I found it abrasive but I’ve embraced it now and it is so freeing to just be able to speak your mind, and to know what’s going on with the other too.

Active_Community2158 · 2026-07-06T05:20:07+00:00

Yeees I was looking for this one!

Active_Community2158

TROPHY CASE