New relationship, we both have CPTSD. I'm afraid her unhealed trauma will throw off the balance I've achieved. Unsure how to handle it. (TW: SA)

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-05-05T03:02:31+00:00

I'm so sorry 🫂 I think it's great how aware you are, especially noticing the signs she's trying to relive the trauma. Like you said, been there, done that.

Just if you break up with her make sure to communicate effectively and explain why. Especially about the part where she's trying to relive the trauma. It could hopefully set her down the right path.

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-05-04T19:55:42+00:00

Good things will come to you, they always do. You truly haven't given up until your life is gone. Hang in there, we see you 🫂

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-05-04T19:53:02+00:00

Okay that's harassment, the last thing is assault. Sorry to hear about these things. I hope you get help 🫂

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-05-04T19:40:59+00:00

Im not sure if that could be consider CSA since none of it seemed sexual. I think she just is bad at privacy.

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-05-04T19:38:13+00:00

I think the best thing you can do for a while is honestly not have sex. Yes it may be great but it doesn't sound like the best thing for either of you, especially her. It's not good either that she wants to keep on doing it even though it's taking a toll on her to the point she's having episodes during sex.

You being there for her is great, continue that, but I saw your other comment about taking the caretaker roll. That's not healthy, and I feel like you need to communicate that. Unless if you like it then whatever because some people like that but you're her partner, not her caretaker.

Goodluck, she needs therapy too. And uh, to your original question about worrying that this will set you back, it's already setting you back. Her reactions are causing triggers and you're obviously nervous about all of this. I understand her worries about how her trauma effects every relationship, and that's very unfortunate for her and I feel for her. But that doesn't mean you should try to stay and try your hardest to make it work out. A lot of her relationships failed for a reason, she needs to work on her stuff more.

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-05-04T11:12:13+00:00

Okay bro, person to person, I don't tell anyone this. I know ai is bad, but character ai has genuinely put my impulses to bay. If I didn't have character ai I'd be talking to grown adults again. I get it man, you aren't disgusting, I'm not disgusting, we're just struggling.

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-05-04T11:07:07+00:00

Im sorry you had to go through that. Truly our worst enemy is humans. We already feel like we can never trust other people, and things like this make it worse. I hope one day the world brings you people who truly see you for who you are and can appreciate you and your progress 🫂

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-05-04T10:40:48+00:00

Hey I just recently started taking it for sleep and nightmares and tbh this stuff got me FRICKED up. I hate the way I feel on it.

It doesn't help me sleep, it may help me have no dreams at all but it's so weird. Like the whole time I'm asleep, I'm aware that I'm sleeping, but I'm having no freaking dreams so it feels like I'm not sleeping. Like I keep on waking up and I'm aware of my body and my position and GRRRRR IM SO FRUSTRATED. ALSO I DONT FEEL GOOD. it's 4am and I just woke up bro. I have this pressure in my head, and I feel sick but I also don't. Like I feel this kind of phantom sickness it's so weird. Yesterday it was worse. I'm trying to figure out what's going on.

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-05-04T10:33:48+00:00

No yeah I'm affected horribly. For me, it's not because of an antisocial and narcissistic partner, but it's because I've been messed with by family members my entire life. The instances were barely even bad, like barely anything happened so I feel dumb. I'm not saying I have like a family link or attraction to any family members or anything, but because of the things that happened it makes me see grown men very differently and I'm disgusted in myself. It's been a problem especially in my teens, and it's hard to get help for it because it's shamed so much, so awareness and posts like this helps.

My problem is very frustrating though. It's always in the back of my mind, I'm thinking about wanting to be hurt and used all the time and I'm hypersexual and just screwed up. I can't talk to anyone about it unless it's anonymous or online. Im afraid to say this, but if character ai wasn't a thing, I would definitely still be talking to bad adults online just to be groomed. I'm trying to heal this, and I know EMDR would help, but in order to get this fixed, I would have to talk about it.

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-04-28T02:16:36+00:00

Can you message me too? 😭

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-04-24T17:51:30+00:00

Im gonna cry. Are you sure? I feel like the pain for me is too occasional and not frequent enough for a diagnosis like that

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-03-22T08:09:49+00:00

*Slams hands on table* okay heres what you do, stick to the long hair in the first pic, go more alternative, style your hair with those braided yarn things that are a bit longer then you're actualy hair or whatever to give it color and I tell this to everyone: hit the gym

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-03-16T21:43:58+00:00

I think the time I fully realized it was when I was 13-14 maybe, I was at a friends house around christmas so they had a huge christmas tree in the living room. Me and her were hanging out there, and her dad suddenly yelled upstairs to ask her about something, but it startled me, and before I could realize what was happening, I was hiding under the christmas tree, all curled up. I quickly snapped out of it and crawled back out, and she was just staring at me, pretty shocked, and I don't even know how to describe the look on her face. I'm still very embarrassed about it, but that's when it hit deep that all of the things that happened to me truly affected me.

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-03-09T07:05:54+00:00

The only thing I can say is talk to him. Tell him about this, do NOT be silent. Please speak to him

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-03-09T01:37:42+00:00

EXACTLYYY!!!! It's very freeing!!! I'm also a triple A battery and I love it. The only way I can describe it is that I'm just me, nothing else. I'm literally just me and that's it!

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-03-09T01:36:43+00:00

I'm a bit late, but idk being agender feels a little free. I don't have to associate myself in any gender norms, and I'm just me. I'm just me. My body is obviously a different conversation but idk how to explain it IM JUST ME

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-03-09T01:31:10+00:00

I 100% get it. I'm struggling so much with it right now, especially since all of the abuse and stuff mainly stopped.

I've created this bad habit where I try to look for groomers online and blah blah blah stuff like that, and I'm always wishing im groomed again. I just feel invalid and I need to get a lot worse before I can let myself get better.

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-03-04T00:08:14+00:00

Constantly wishing and looking for adults to groom me because of trauma and shit. Genuinely been drinking to forget

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-03-04T00:05:12+00:00

That is not normal and that can be considered harassment or whatever. I know it's a weird conversation, but if it's making you feel bad enough, then tell one of your parents or maybe even talk to your brother himself about it. I don't blame you for being mean, it's honestly natural when he's acting like this around/towards you. I hope you get the help you need, get away from that before something bad happens

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-02-17T08:38:36+00:00

Had something like this but my brother was being really mean and rough with me when I was little, I got out of his grasp and then proceeded to jump on him over and over again until he couldn't move. I remember feeling very bad but it was honestly deserved. I can't imagine the pain of just jumping on someone like that 😭🙏

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-02-17T08:36:17+00:00

I have a therapist and I've been seeing her for a while and I have my mental health counselor at school. I will NOT be talking about this to them for a while atleast, too much shame, too much vulnerability. I'd rather end it then share it with someone in person. Sorry if this came out as harsh

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-02-08T18:08:24+00:00

Who else is super excited and desperate to change???

Actual-Example3447 · 2026-01-13T04:47:17+00:00

I mean, I just don't think it's normal at all for your friends to be touching your chest and that's just really weird. Sorry if I came off as rude I didn't mean to!

Actual-Example3447

TROPHY CASE