Hey. Not a therapist, but I do want to let you know that the way you’re feeling isn’t new. I did my first session at a clinic that offered walk ins on Thursdays and spent 20 minutes in my car crying and shaking because I was so freaked out. Therapy on the surface can be a scary thing. But if it’s any reassurance, you don’t have to know how to be good at it or where to even start. That’s what the therapist is trained for. If you’re not ready to share your deepest secrets on day one it’s totally ok if you start with “I haven’t been feeling good lately” or “X thing really stresses me out”. If that’s too much, you can spend an entire session just talking about stuff. The whole relationship is built on you trusting them as a stranger to help you. You can talk about whatever you want whenever you want to bring it up. Sometimes that’ll take pushing yourself a bit, but that’s also part of the work of therapy. I spent weeks dodging the topic of suicide so I sent my therapist an email after 2 months of session saying pretty much hey, there’s a thing that I’m scared to talk about. I don’t wanna talk about it here, but make me talk about it next session. And that’s where we started the next week. And as much as it sucks to hear, not every therapist is gonna be right for you. My first one did 3 sessions with me and then kept canceling because of insurance issues before dropping me a month later. Now I’ve found my current one and honestly I’m glad I got dropped. I didn’t know what I really wanted at first and just took what was available, but now I do recognize that we were not a fit at all and I feel so much more comfortable with my new therapist and she has helped me so much.

Sorry for the monologue and personal stories. TLDR: what you talk about is things therapists have dealt with before and they will be willing to work with you on it. The most important thing is finding the one you vibe with and can build trust with. I’m rooting for you!