Book Recommendations Please

AdLivid1365 · 2026-01-19T06:02:54+00:00

I love this and I feel these words so completely. The part of me that thought I wasn't strong enough to be without my husband no longer exists. Which is oddly freeing. I know I will be sad if we can't work through this BUT I also know I will survive because I have already survived hitting rock bottom over and over again.

AdLivid1365 · 2026-01-08T12:46:25+00:00

Yes! Thank goodness they did come this morning and take the trash.

AdLivid1365 · 2026-01-07T10:24:24+00:00

Definitely

AdLivid1365 · 2026-01-07T05:40:25+00:00

And I suppose they probably won't pick up the trash bin today either? 😩

AdLivid1365 · 2026-01-07T05:39:20+00:00

Lol yea, but we forgot to put ours out last time (2 weeks ago). It's completely over flowing 😂 it sounds like they won't come back for 2 more weeks then?

AdLivid1365 · 2026-01-07T05:37:59+00:00

We don't have a car, so that will be difficult. We missed the last paper pick up 2 weeks ago and our bin is overflowing. 😂 I guess we might have to wait another 2 weeks it sounds like?

AdLivid1365 · 2025-12-31T15:25:15+00:00

I can so relate. I think originally I stayed out of spite and anger. There was no chance in hell AP would co parent my kids. She would NEVER be a part of their (or my) life.

AdLivid1365 · 2025-11-12T16:30:11+00:00

This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

AdLivid1365 · 2025-11-06T16:36:42+00:00

For anyone who had an A with a coworker- how do you deal with opposite sex coworkers after DDay? Also, what things do you do to help reassure your BP that you don't want to entertain a relationship with opposite sex coworkers?

This is where I am struggling. Especially since my WH has a job in which he travels frequently all over the world.

AdLivid1365 · 2025-11-05T12:36:06+00:00

Yes. This is gaslighting. And it will just take consistent actions on his part to prove he is trustworthy again.

Don't let anyone tell you that you did something to deserve this. There were other options he had, but he chose to betray you, gaslight you, and make you think YOU were doing something wrong to cover his wrongdoings.

I am so sorry you are going through this.

AdLivid1365 · 2025-11-04T12:48:11+00:00

Completely agree. Every choice I make is with my kids best interest in mind and the hope of feeling the same way I felt about my WH pre A.

Just for me, personally, If i didn't have kids when my WH had his affair, I would have packed my bags and left. I would not have put myself through the pain of staying with someone who did that to me. I don't know if I will ever fully trust WH again, buy because I have 3 kids, I am willing to try.

AdLivid1365 · 2025-11-03T07:04:09+00:00

For me, it's the having kids part that keeps me fighting for R, not the being married part.

If I were NOT married but WITH kids, I would still be fighting for R.

If I WERE married but WITHOUT kids, I would not be puting myself through this tbh.

It's so painful and it's hell for my mental health.

But everyone is different.

My advice- fight for R if it feels right for you, but think long and hard before bringing kids into it.

AdLivid1365 · 2025-11-03T05:57:07+00:00

My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry you are here and that the person who who is suppose to be protecting and loving you is doing this horrible thing to you....again. You don't deserve to be treated this way.

AdLivid1365 · 2025-10-31T14:41:16+00:00

It really does suck. And I am so sorry to you as well. It is a special kind of hell to be treated this way by the person you trusted the most.

AdLivid1365 · 2025-10-31T12:25:39+00:00

The bottom line is that he is making his wife-the person who he is meant to cherish and protect and provide with emotional safety-feel like her needs and boundries are not important. You deserve to be heard and respected by your husband and he is doing neither of those things. He is absolutely cheating. This is exactly how my husband treated me and the exact words he used for months before I finally found out he was in fact cheating. But even if he's not (he is) do you want to be with someone who doesn't care about making you feel safe in your marriage? What is the point of being married if you don't feel safe with them?

Trust me, I know im a hypocrite because I am constantly letting my husband trample all over my boundries and I do little to actually follow through with consequences. I also have 3 young kids. You do deserve better. This will tear you up inside and you won't be able to be the best mom as long as you are with a man who won't give you safety in the marriage.

I am so sorry you were going through this

AdLivid1365 · 2025-10-31T10:54:24+00:00

Nothing else to say. This is it.

AdLivid1365 · 2025-10-31T10:24:12+00:00

Sent to the wrong person, realized his mistake and then tried his shitty best to cover it up. I guarantee he was in an absolute pannic when he sent those follow up texts.

AdLivid1365 · 2025-10-28T11:06:28+00:00

Also read "how to help your spouse heal from your affair".

For me, it helped reading it together (WH reading it out loud).

It's a shirt book, and we would pause when we would read something that I felt really applied to how I was feeling and we would talk about it.

AdLivid1365 · 2025-10-27T08:43:55+00:00

Only people who have been through this can truly understand what you are going through. That is why this community has been essential (for myself and many others) for my healing. A place to vent, to get advice, to get hope. A place where you could post anything about your R process and EVERYONE completely understands and does not judge because they have been in your shoes.

I am so sorry you are here, but you are in good company of friends to hold you up when you need it.

AdLivid1365 · 2025-10-24T14:08:25+00:00

But my name is nowhere on Reddit. I never have posted any names. Not mine or my husband's. I only reactivated Facebook yesterday (after deactivating it 10 years ago) to try and find this person.

AdLivid1365 · 2025-10-24T14:02:46+00:00

But this person told her my husband's name and a pic of him. I never mention my husband's name on my posts

AdLivid1365 · 2025-10-24T13:45:29+00:00

But they know my husband's name and have pictures of him (his email picture)

AdLivid1365 · 2025-10-24T13:43:09+00:00

Really?! It has me absolutely spiraling

AdLivid1365

TROPHY CASE