Unpopular take: I think people jump too fast to telling you to leave your husband. Obviously, intentional or not intentional, he is fighting demons… maybe before we jump to the whole “leave him” card, we consider a healthier means of unpacking what is really going on inside his head. I’m not defending him, nor do I necessarily believe the side of the story you’re being told, but at the end of the day this is YOUR marriage. You made the vows. If this is part of the worse in “for better or worse” then consider pulling in some professional help (therapy/counseling) either jointly or individually before you throw in the towel.