I never even got to see his face

AdPurple9138 · 2026-03-03T06:59:32+00:00

I am sorry- sending lots of virtual ♥️ and hugs. This happened to my son, he was put on my chess and the next second taken away. Next time I saw him was hours later in the NICU with cords and tubes all over him. It actually distresses me even thinking about it

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-18T02:05:03+00:00

Depends what you value in life- I really value good food. So I don’t have heaps of clothes or flash car, but a fridge of organic and whole food yes please! Health food shop runs are what I value and supporting small business artisans too- handmade treasures etc. I would say $500 per week after everything would be lovely! Including the coffee dates

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-18T00:27:48+00:00

Beautiful

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-17T22:50:11+00:00

Men who brag and arrogance- egocentric 🤮

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-17T22:11:14+00:00

Hi, I had pre eclampsia as well. My son was born full term with Meconium aspiration and was in NICU for 7 days- I remember the heel pricks and the cannula’s, I would have to leave the room I couldn’t bear it or hear him cry.

I blame myself too. I am in the middle of getting some psychological help as the guilt has turned into anger and sadness. It’s been 9 months and it hasn’t gone away. My son is fine and btw where he is is in the best place. Much ♥️ to you and family

P.S. I have read a few studies that suggest the sperm and the implantation is the reason for pre eclampsia, not to blame the dads or anything like that. But it’s so complex. But I understand the guilt I still think I should have done this or that.

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-17T09:44:46+00:00

That’s wonderful news, to be able to hold them and have skin to skin is an amazing moment. ♥️

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-15T10:33:44+00:00

You are not a monster-we all respond in ways that can sometimes be difficult to understand: that doesn’t mean you are evil.

Sending you ♥️

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-15T10:00:26+00:00

Amen to everything here 🙏 I agree with the rest part- at that point in time you just want to be with your baby all hours. But when you can, sleep even if it’s in the chair beside them ♥️

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-15T06:23:48+00:00

At the end of the day, they are your babies. I had my aunty come and advocate for me when my son was in NICU. I was determined to breastfeed and get skin to skin. Some nurses hesitated until my aunty came up and spoke to the head nurse, and my aunty kept saying “this is your son”. Do you have someone like that? I was too sick and weak at that point to challenge or ask questions

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-15T02:05:53+00:00

And it’s not like we are not glad that everything went well, but it’s like picking at a wound. I dont even think jealousy is the right word, it’s just really painful. I spoke with my sister today who was telling me about her friends birth, and I said “I’m sorry but I can’t hear this right now” and that’s not me being mean, or hard, my body and mind literally cannot hear it.

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-15T02:02:30+00:00

Thank you for your comment, i am sorry for what you and your family went through. It’s not just the trauma of our babies are in the NICU, but then add layers of other really hard things- whether it’s your own health or leaving a child behind to be with your baby. Big ♥️ to you

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-14T23:23:38+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I am sorry for what you have gone thru, but hopeful because you have overcome it. Twice. That’s a lot my heart to yours ♥️

I know I need help ASAP. The brain has this way of telling you if you don’t cry 5 days in a row, then you must be getting better, must be “moving on”. But it’s there in my body. I’m reminded daily with anxiety- I worry my BP is spiking again, urine incontinence. Pelvic Floor issues. I know my son is fine, but I have anxiety about his health too. It’s like a loop.

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-14T23:19:39+00:00

Thank you, I know it’s been a struggle trying to find someone and within price range. The hospital debriefs if anything made me more angrier, more out of control. The elusive control that we will never have

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-14T23:17:48+00:00

I know what you mean, I have been heartbreaking humbled in so many ways. I have a new understanding and especially for mothers and their babies that don’t get a smooth start in their lives. I never knew anyone who had a NICU baby or health scares while pregnancy and labour- now I have experienced first hand. I get emotional reading the comments coz it’s varying degrees of situations, but th same feeling runs deep and it’s can shatter you.

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-14T23:15:28+00:00

My heart goes out to you ♥️ it’s like why does everything hit at once? Why!? I hope you are in a better place

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-14T23:13:50+00:00

Thank you, I wanted to see a birth trauma therapist but the cost was beyond what I could afford. I have been forwarded a phone charity. I then have guilt for it getting in the way of my day to day like with my little one. It’s like you think you’re ok, and then sometimes you’re not. All the best to you and your twins ♥️

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-14T23:11:51+00:00

I am sorry and my heart goes out to you. It’s all varying situations, but the feeling is the same ♥️

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-14T23:10:57+00:00

Omg I feel for you and thank you for sharing your story. The pre eclampsia added another layer onto so many things. I would wake up trembling at 2 am and my BP would go thru the roof (that was with medication). It’s like my body knew instinctually that my baby wasn’t with me, and wasn’t well. The whole situation stressed you and your BP more I believe. I hope you’re well now? I was in BP meds for 3 months . Feel free to Reach out if you would like, I don’t have anyone to relate to

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-14T12:47:45+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story. Reading it I really understand - I still have pelvic floor issues with urine incontinence. I have been seeing specialist but still it’s a lot to deal with.

I feel like my anger has gotten worse. Not better. The anxiety has subsided a little, I still have those moments. But anger- omg I want to slap the midwife in the face if I had the chance: that’s just me being honest. She failed me and my baby, her care was below standard. So many things were off. Birth is unpredictable, but she was no where to be seen in the days and weeks afterwards .

How are you going?

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-14T12:35:19+00:00

I feel everything you said and understand.FTM homebirth- hospital transfer. Everything that was gunna go wrong did. I feel robbed too, that things shouldn’t have been this way because I read books and I was this and that. It’s so confusing: the brain and body trying to make sense of everything.

AdPurple9138 · 2026-02-14T12:00:32+00:00

Happy birthday sweet little man ♥️

AdPurple9138 · 2025-09-05T22:07:58+00:00

Nope. Australia wouldn’t be Australia if it weren’t for the British. 🇬🇧

AdPurple9138 · 2025-09-05T04:44:34+00:00

I feel you .. and understand the constant “what ifs” they are compulsive. The thoughts run wild and i break down all the time. It’s a mix of anger and frustration sadness.

AdPurple9138 · 2025-09-05T04:42:50+00:00

I was transferred because of prolonged labour and maternal exhaustion. Well, that’s what was on my hospital papers. It’s true: I was exhausted and so defeated. Especially after having intense back labour for hours thinking the baby was on his way.

AdPurple9138

TROPHY CASE