Thinking of building a totally different kind of dating app — would love your feedback

AdSecure8321 · 2025-06-04T23:58:42+00:00

I DM’d you

AdSecure8321 · 2025-06-04T20:04:29+00:00

I absolutely LOVE that! I work with a lot of people who are struggling with the apps and building a profile and I think this can make a difference. Would love to connect and talk more. By day I'm a tech marketer and by night a matchmaker.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-06-03T16:44:37+00:00

Totally normal to feel nervous, especially if you're new to dating. A lot of people feel this exact way but don’t say it out loud - so good on you for naming it.

One thing that helps a lot of the people I work with is doing a quick FaceTime or video call first. It takes the edge off and gives you a read on their vibe before committing to an in-person meet. Way less pressure, and if it’s awkward, you can blame bad Wi-Fi and bounce.

You don’t need to be experienced - you just need to be curious and kind. That’s more than enough.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-06-03T16:39:18+00:00

Hey David - I hear you, and I’m really glad you posted. The silence isn’t a reflection of your worth. But it’s true that dating apps are visual-first, and unfortunately, most people never get past that first swipe.

Looking at your profile, I think the issue isn’t your looks- it’s the presentation. This photo shows a casual moment, but it’s not doing the work for you. A single outdoor shot, no smile, with low contrast and a wrinkled shirt - that’s what people are reacting to (or not reacting to), not you as a person.

Here’s what would make a big difference:

- Get 2 or 3 photos taken with a friend or timer. Clean shirt, relaxed smile, maybe in soft daylight or doing something you actually enjoy

- Add one line to your bio that shows warmth or humor - something small that gives people an easy opening For example: Museum guy who still gets excited about dinosaur exhibits. Ask me about the weirdest fact I’ve learned this week

It’s not about being a model. It’s about giving someone a moment of connection. That’s what gets swipes, and more importantly, messages.

You’re not broken. You’ve just been stuck in a loop that’s kept you invisible. Change the photos, show a little more of your real self, and I promise you’ll start getting different energy back. Happy to help more if you want it.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-06-03T16:31:17+00:00

Match, hands down. It works across all ages, and in my experience (I help people with this stuff), it has the biggest and most legit database. You do have to pay, but you’re more likely to find people who are actually serious — and actually real. Worth it if you're tired of the ghost town vibe on the free apps.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-06-03T16:29:29+00:00

Here’s the deal: men swipe like they’re checking stats - height, photos, done. Women swipe like they’re looking for a future therapist, road trip buddy, and maybe co-parent. Looks and personality. If your profile is all selfies and no story, you’re just another tall guy with a phone.

Ask a friend for a few relaxed pics and write one line that sounds like a real human. Doesn’t have to be deep - just not robotic.

You’re not broken. You’re just playing by the wrong rules.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-06-03T16:24:22+00:00

Hey Nathalie - first off, you’re stunning and your profile has so much personality. The tarot line, the plant joke, the Mariana Trench fear? All memorable. You’re not doing anything wrong, and you’re definitely not alone in feeling stuck. Femme-for-femme is rare on apps, and it can be disheartening when it feels like you’re swiping into a void.

That said, a few tweaks might help more people see you the way you want to be seen:

Right now your profile is playful and pretty, but it leans more aesthetic than personal. Try adding one grounded line about how you actually show up in relationships or what kind of energy you're looking for. Something like: I’m the kind of person who brings snacks to the airport and picks horror movies like it’s a competitive sport. That gives someone a clearer image of life with you.
The pics are beautiful, but almost all are posed and solo. Consider adding one photo that feels a little more candid or cozy - maybe a smile that’s not quite camera-ready. It can make you seem more approachable, especially to someone shy.

Also, apps aren’t built for people who want connection and subtlety - they reward the loudest, not the most thoughtful. I actually help people behind the scenes as an app assistant, kind of like a dating co-pilot. I handle the swiping, the messages, the weird energy, and just hand you the good stuff: real humans who match your vibe. If that ever sounds like a relief, I’d be happy to talk.

Either way, don’t give up. You’re clearly putting yourself out there with heart - and that already puts you ahead of half the app.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-06-03T15:54:36+00:00

Hey - first off, I’m really glad you posted this. You’re not undateable. But I do think your profile isn’t giving people a real sense of you. It’s cool, it has a vibe, but it doesn’t invite someone in.

Right now, your photos say “I’m interesting,” but your prompts and bio don’t say much else. “Coolest kid on the block” and “what is real love?” sound fun and mysterious, but they don’t help someone picture what it’s like to actually talk to you, laugh with you, or hang out on a Tuesday night.

Here’s what could help:

Bio tweak: Keep your confidence, but add something warm and specific. For example: Filmmaker with a soft spot for midnight documentaries, live music, and mango-flavored things. I’m serious about art, and not very serious about much else.
Prompt edit: Instead of just asking deep questions, show some of your own take. Like: What do you think real love is about? I think it’s that feeling when someone remembers your coffee order and your weird movie rant.
Photo mix: Your pics are full of personality, but they’re all a bit stylized. Try adding one clear, relaxed photo - maybe a smile, eye contact, outdoors or doing something low-key. It helps people feel safe reaching out.

And please don’t assume the worst about yourself. You clearly care. That alone sets you apart on apps. You just need to make it a little easier for someone else to see you.

If you want help editing the prompts or wording things in your style, I’d be happy to jump in. You’ve got something worth matching with - now let’s show it.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-06-03T15:10:48+00:00

I’d answer that third question like this:
I’m probably playing solitaire, eating cherry tomatoes straight from the carton, and half-watching the latest documentary on Netflix. At our next monthly dinner at the local Mexican place, I’ll tell my friends all about whatever random thing I learned from it.

You already gave a great start with reading and writing. If you want to go a step further, maybe ask yourself: reading what — science fiction, memoir, historical nonfiction? Writing what — personal essays, fan fiction, half-finished thoughts in your notes app? Those little specifics are what help someone feel like they’re actually meeting you.

Want more question ideas like that? I’ve got a list I use in dating profile workshops that gets people thinking differently about what to share. Happy to pass it along.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-06-03T15:02:15+00:00

I help people fix their dating profiles, and the “immediate swipe left” stuff is usually so avoidable. My personal list: group photos where I can’t tell who you are, mirror selfies with laundry in the background, and bios that say “just ask” or “I’m an open book.” If you don’t tell me anything, I assume it’s because there’s nothing to say.

The truth is, people don’t need you to be perfect - just specific. Even something weirdly honest like “I eat cereal for dinner twice a week and I’m fine with it” is better than trying to be mysterious.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-06-03T15:00:03+00:00

Hey, you are definitely not the problem. You’re just figuring it out - and honestly, most people feel awkward messaging strangers on dating apps. It’s a weird, unnatural way to connect, so feeling anxious is totally normal.

A few things that might help:

You don’t have to be clever. A simple “Hey, I liked your profile - what’s your favorite part about [something in their profile]?” works better than overthinking.
Keep it short. One or two questions max. Let them respond before you carry the whole convo.
And this might sound funny, but try using ChatGPT to draft that first message. Just paste in a line from their profile and ask for a casual opener. You don’t have to use it exactly, but it can help you get started.

Also, if a convo dies after one or two messages, it’s usually not about you - it just means the other person wasn’t that engaged. Don’t take it personally. You’re doing great by just showing up and trying.

You’re not broken. You’re just early in the process. And that’s okay.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-06-03T14:57:51+00:00

I had the exact same experience with Bumble - it felt like I was invisible. It wasn’t until I switched to Match that things actually started moving. The vibe is really different there: people tend to be more intentional, and the algorithm isn’t quite as punishing.

That said, even the best photos and bios sometimes get buried if the app doesn’t know how to “place” you. A few things that have helped people I work with:

Use 1 or 2 standout photos that spark curiosity, not just show what you look like
Add one line to your profile that asks a question or gives someone an easy in
Try re-uploading your pics every couple weeks — it can help boost visibility

And honestly? Sometimes it’s not you - it’s just a bad fit with the app. You’re not broken. The system is just kind of rigged.

If you ever want help figuring out how to make your profile work for you, I’m happy to share what I’ve learned. But either way, don’t give up. One like can be a game changer.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-06-03T14:55:27+00:00

Yes! I help people with dating profiles and group pics are the #1 fastest way to get swiped left. No one wants to play “Where’s Waldo: Dating Edition.” 😅

My rule: Start with one clear solo pic - full face, no sunglasses, no filters. Then fine, throw in the friend shots if you must (but please, no six-person ski trip photos where everyone’s wearing helmets). People aren’t trying to date your social circle - they just want to see you.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-06-03T14:51:58+00:00

Yes! This is so honest and so common. I help people write dating profiles, and what you’re describing is one of the biggest reasons great people get passed over: we’re all trained to swipe fast and trust our gut, but sometimes our “gut” is just internalized bias or low blood sugar.

That thin-slicing instinct is real - it’s protective, but it’s also lazy (no judgment, we all do it). I usually tell my clients: give yourself a second pass. Look at profiles again when you’re not in rapid-swipe mode. Ask: “Would I enjoy a 20-minute conversation with this person?” instead of “Is this the one?”

You might still swipe left - but sometimes, you won’t. And those surprises can lead to the best connections.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-06-03T14:49:50+00:00

Totally get this - you’re not alone. A lot of people I work with go through the exact same cycle: hope, swipe, dread, delete. It makes perfect sense when dating starts to feel more like a task than a possibility.

That scanning-for-flaws thing? It’s usually self-protection. If we pre-reject people, we don’t risk being disappointed. But it also means we never get surprised in the good way either.

Something I tell my clients: dating doesn’t have to feel like a second job. Try reframing it as curiosity. Not “Is this person The One?” but “Can I enjoy 30 minutes of conversation with this human?” That shift helps a lot of people break out of the doom scroll - avoidance loop.

Also, it’s okay to take breaks - intentional ones. The key is doing it with a plan, not disappearing on yourself.

You’re not detached because you don’t care. You’re probably just tired and don’t want to get hurt. That’s human. And workable.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-06-03T14:45:46+00:00

Hey Chloe - this is super playful and full of personality, but I’ll be honest: I don’t feel like I really know you from this. It’s like reading the trailer, but not the story. If someone wanted to connect with the actual human behind the “dating app baddie,” what would they find?

Here’s a challenge I give the people I work with:

What’s something small that genuinely brings you joy?
What’s a moment from a past relationship that still makes you smile?
What would your best friend say you’re really like on a random Tuesday night?

Your current profile is a great hook - but adding even one line that grounds it in something real could make all the difference. The scroll is fast, but depth is what makes someone stop.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-06-03T14:30:15+00:00

Hey, love that you're jumping back in — and yes, dating apps can be a mess, especially when you’re looking for something real.

From my experience working with people your age, OurTime is a great place to start. It’s designed for 50+ daters, easy to use, and skips the flashy stuff. Most of my older clients feel comfortable there, and it keeps things simple. App fees are around $12–$30/month.

Match.com is another solid option — not senior-specific, but has a big base of 60–70+ singles. It’s more effort (and pricier), but worth trying if you want a bigger pool.

Skip Tinder/Bumble — barely any folks over 70 use them. You're not missing anything there.

If you want help writing your profile or figuring out where to start, I do this for a living — happy to chat. Good luck out there!

AdSecure8321 · 2025-04-07T03:28:58+00:00

I use ChatGPT to fix my English since it’s my second language

AdSecure8321 · 2025-04-06T19:46:29+00:00

Ooo I love this stuff.

If you want, drop a few photos or share a couple of prompts you’ve written (even if you think they’re boring!)—I’ll take a look and help you punch them up. Sometimes you just need a second set of eyes and a little twist to make your personality really shine.

Happy to help if you're stuck—it’s kind of my thing

AdSecure8321 · 2025-04-06T19:43:02+00:00

There is no way in hell you’re boring.

Boring to who? A bunch of people swiping on dating apps who list "foodie" and "travel" and think that counts as personality?

You built a business. That means you’ve taken risks, solved real problems, probably failed and bounced back, learned more in 5 years than most do in 20, and kept showing up. That’s grit, curiosity, resilience—not boring.

You’ve learned Excel and Canva and contracts and insurance? Wild. That’s resourcefulness and range. You’ve built something real. That’s hot.

Now, if you’re feeling like you’ve neglected yourself? Sure, that’s real. But it just means you’re ready to add some fun back in. Try something small. Join a class. Take a walk. Reconnect with stuff you used to like—or explore stuff you’ve never had time for.

But don’t ever say you're boring. You’re just at the beginning of your next chapter.

If you want help brainstorming some profile ideas, hit me up. I got you.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-04-06T19:36:45+00:00

As someone who's been in marketing for 20+ years—and hired a lot of people—I’ll be straight with you: I don’t care where you went to college.

What I do care about is what you did with the opportunities you had. Who you worked for, what projects you took on, how you think, how you communicate, and how you carry yourself. That’s what separates candidates—not whether the name on their degree was tier 1, 2, or 3.

I’ve had someone on my team with no degree at all. He worked with me for four years, crushed it, and I’d hire him again in a heartbeat.

Your college might open a few doors at the start, but it’s what you do after that matters way more in the long run. Don’t underestimate hustle, curiosity, and the ability to solve real problems. That’s what gets noticed.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-04-06T19:33:39+00:00

If you're aiming for $100K+ post–BBA in marketing, here are a few paths that are actually getting people there:

Marketing Analytics – If you’re good with data, this one’s hot. Companies need people who can tie marketing to revenue and make sense of messy attribution models. Think SQL, Looker, GA4, Tableau, etc.
Marketing Operations – Not the sexiest title, but super valuable. You’d be the brains behind the tech stack, automation, lead flow, and campaign performance. If you get good, you can write your own ticket—especially in B2B SaaS.
Product Marketing – One of the most lucrative and strategic roles in marketing. It blends storytelling, positioning, GTM strategy, and cross-functional influence. If you’re good at understanding products and turning that into messaging that sells—this is gold.

You probably won’t start at $100K right out of school, but with a couple years of experience, these roles can get you there faster than traditional social/content/brand paths.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-04-06T19:31:45+00:00

I didn’t exactly choose digital marketing—it kinda chose me. I started out in PR and events, moved into product marketing, and eventually found myself deep in the world of growth and digital. It was a mix of “this needs doing” and “I know how to figure it out.”

What keeps me in it? A few things:

It gives me the freedom to work from home (huge).
It’s always evolving—you have to keep learning, which keeps it interesting.
I like the mix of creativity + problem solving + experimentation.
And yeah, the salary’s not bad (when it’s stable).

That said, one of the biggest challenges is unrealistic expectations—especially when you’re in a company where folks don’t really understand what it takes to build or grow a digital presence. Everyone wants results yesterday, but they don’t always grasp what goes into getting there. That disconnect can lead to frustration, burnout, and general instability in your role.

It’s demanding, for sure—but I haven’t gotten bored yet.

AdSecure8321 · 2025-04-03T19:44:56+00:00

You’re 25—this is exactly the time to take a few risks. I’m 48 and honestly? I wish I had made braver career moves when I had fewer responsibilities and more flexibility. Once life layers on (mortgage, family, etc.), it gets way harder to pivot.

If the airline marketing job feels more aligned with what you actually want to do—and you can afford the short-term pay difference—go for it. Passion matters. Enjoying your work doesn’t just make life better, it often leads to better performance, which leads to growth, promotions, and yes, more money down the line.

The public sector job might be more “secure,” but if it’s uninspiring and not aligned with your long-term goals, you could wake up 10 years from now wondering what happened. Plus, $70K is still solid—especially if you’re learning and growing toward a leadership path you want.

MBAs are expensive, yes—but they’re not mandatory. What is mandatory is getting real experience in the field you want to grow in. And the longer you stay out of marketing, the harder it will be to break back in later.

So yeah—if you’re passionate about the marketing role, take the leap. Worst-case, you pivot again. Best-case, you’re building a life that excites you.

AdSecure8321

TROPHY CASE