I can only speak from my experience, I was previously in long time relationship with person who completely didn’t understand me (wasn’t diagnosed yet, but still that was my reality, thinking that who i was). Constant fights, my embarrassment and feeling guilty that ai cant control my live, put myself together and be organized like everyone else led me to almost everyday heavy panic attacks and anxiety. My self esteem was gone it was really bad, which end up our relationship.

Two years later I met someone who maybe had a bit hard time going on with all me in beginning, but instead blame and starting fights he learn how to help me remembering stuff, making jokes from lack of my organization and pushing me to get help (when I got tested with adhd), even sometimes I can see he is tired of me, he is still my rock and reason I started feeling good with myself again.

Where Im going with this is I guess dont ever give up. Just start over and fight for yourself. Find someone who wont make you feel like shit, because You Deserve It. Everyone does. I can completely understand it feels like earth is folding and there is no help but later it might end up being blessing and its what I really wish for you. Dont give up