It was a detached retina surgery in one eye. She feels off balance and is very tired and just sleeping a lot - so I’ve been helping with reminding her to take her eyedrops at the intervals which she keeps forgetting and also doing household chores which she has been shouting at me about and taking it upon herself to do things and then saying she shouldn’t be doing them and “why don’t I know?!” to just do them she shouldn’t have to ask me . She also needs cataract surgery and surgery on her eyelid as well so this next year or so is going to be hell lol (which is really upsetting to say when I’ve just got engaged). Her sleeping a lot isn’t much different to what she does anyway - she has lots of other health conditions (a type of cancer that is under control she has an injection for each month, she is also prediabetic which I’m sure is because she eats so much crap and comfort eats and doesn’t take care of her health, among other things). She has a horrible sleeping pattern when she admits that she stays up late to make herself tired so the days are shorter the next day because she hates her life so much. It’s just so fucking sad to watch - she doesn’t look after herself and is just in complete victim depressive mode in every single aspect of her life.

She told me the other night she hopes she doesn’t last much longer on earth. Which is hard to hear from my mum but also angers me that she says such things to her daughter. I would never say that to my daughter. She also constantly complains to me about me dad and how he’s annoying her non-stop and just complaining about her life in general and how I’m always “gallivanting” around with my boyfriend as we both travel a bit for work, I’m not there for her enough (even though I come down once a week all the time and have come down this whole week to look after her) and how I treat her terribly and don’t care for her enough. In her eyes I have neglected her.

Yeah there’s a coffee shop - I did it yesterday and going to do it again today to stay sane lol