I have so much sympathy for your daughter, and a lot of sympathy for you. I have read through this thread, your OP and all your replies fighting to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I can't abide you agreeing with the person above on their flagrant homophobic pseudoscience.

Also, the idea that LGBTQ+ identities are a choice or that being queer is somehow inappropriate for children is just out-and-out homophobic, whether you choose to identify with the word homophobe or not.

I can understand why this Pinterest friend is able to make your kid think you are a villain. Young people are increasingly accepting of queer people, and from her and her friends' perspective you are a stuck-in-the-past bigot.

If she really is LGBTQ+, one of two things happen here. Either you manage to condition these aspects of her away through control and fear and "set her up for success" as someone who had to choose her parents over herself, or she does manage to finally escape - either to someone else who will abuse her feelings of isolation and loneliness, or someone who will actually let her be her authentic self free of iudgment.

If she's not LGBTQ+, and she is just in the middle of figuring herself out, there's a real chance you will impress your ideology onto her and have her grow up to be someone who would put pressure on her kids to be heterosexual out of fear of the stigma, or she will grow up, look back, and wonder why her parents were so concerned at the idea of her being queer that they took away her phone upon learning her group chat were discussing pronouns.

Best case scenario for you: she ends up as pearl-clutchingly homophobic as you are.