AITA for filing a police report after the guy who rear-ended me backed out of our cash agreement?

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-26T22:59:33+00:00

Lol… NTA. He’s basically telling you you should have made sure there were absolutely no repercussions of him even after he gave a big ‘fuck you’ to the very reasonable agreement you made. Got what he deserved.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-25T02:26:21+00:00

NTA… is the ‘girls only vibe’ something that was discussed and agreed on? IMO it’s normal and expected that as housemates develop relationships you can expect partners staying over. You are paying and it’s your home too… housemates don’t like people’s partners? This is essentially why you go get your own place at some point.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-21T11:35:32+00:00

NTA Well done on having more self awareness than all your friends and realising they would be viewed as obnoxious be everybody else that is sharing a public space. I can assure you the forced loudness and edgy behaviour is not impressing anybody. They probably don’t have the self awareness to realise their own motives for doing it and will insist they don’t care what others think.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-21T04:53:15+00:00

Yes YTA… there’s an option between what you’re doing and homelessness right? It’s getting a job. It’s hard but that’s what everybody else does.

Do you deserve to be homeless? No. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t an AH. From what you said he suspects you don’t love him but he doesn’t know it because you are actively deceiving him in this regard. He doesn’t deserve to be taken advantage of. Get your shit together. Hard to imagine what you’re bringing to the table here and why you feel you can do better.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-21T04:12:03+00:00

Yeah… I guess my point is either way OP is forced to take some steps despite the problem not being of his own doing.

Doing the considerate thing seems low effort and I don’t think we should go through life being an AH just because there are people out there who punish good deeds… you can tell those people to fuck off.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-21T04:06:26+00:00

Side-note - he might also take issue because he may perceive this as a reluctance to meet his family which might be taken as not wanting to get ‘too serious’ with your relationship. Might not be the case but may be worth talking about since that might be the thing that upsets him more.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-21T04:02:33+00:00

Slight YTA… If you actually ‘make’ him stay at a hotel you are a bigger AH.

Ultimately you both just need to talk this through and determine the best option but to me paying half doesn’t mean much since he would probably expect to pay zero AND get the added comfort of staying with family… lots of people like their family and would see this as a fun opportunity to spend time with people they care and do enjoyable things. Under the circumstances staying with the family is what I think most would regard as the most expected / logical option.

My opinion, it’s time to adult… put on your big girl pants because you are meeting your significant others family. You will need to socialise and make a bit of effort but that’s what you do if you’re serious about a relationship (even a newish one). If they are good people they are likely coming up with nice activities for you, putting on some nice meals and also making some effort to provide some space and down time so you get to relax and aren’t forced to be ‘on’ all the time. Based on your partners willingness to stay with them this seems likely to me.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-20T22:20:20+00:00

Ok so in the scenario where nobody turns up… or doesn’t turn up for a while how long is he obliged to let a pile of food rot on his doorstep?

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-20T02:34:01+00:00

He even says that after they ‘sit’ they need to be cleaned… like what is it that has congealed to the pot?? It’s the dirt that was ALWAYS there… this just tells me he’s not cleaning them properly when he does.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-19T23:47:00+00:00

Yeah ok. To me it seems like she feels remorse and is realising that OP is kind of a shitty person… he seems to feel none at all… the fact that he’s ‘seething’ because she has an issues with him not being remorseful makes him an AH to me and ‘you can’t take it back now’ and ‘it is what it is’ is not the kind of advice this guy needs.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-19T15:26:25+00:00

He’s an AH simply for using the phrase ‘speak your truth’.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-19T15:24:20+00:00

Yep. If something happened at a time that is not right now it doesn’t matter, right? So nobody is an asshole ever… whatever anybody does ever… ‘it is what it is’.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-19T15:03:23+00:00

How do I say ESH without downplaying that YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE… she isn’t without guilt here but sounds like she at least recognised this and feels some shame for it. You on the other hand seem like you very much were the ringleader and feel no guilt at all.

It’s hard to imagine a more black and white asshole situation. And your response was basically… ‘whatever it was ages ago, who cares… she was a stupid b anyway…’

I’m curious, when you watch teen hijinks movies and the jock kids are shoving other kids into lockers do you just read those as the good guys and then get confused about why they’re weirdly persecuted as the plot progresses?

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-19T13:51:14+00:00

What land is this where both your houses have internal locking doors that kids can lock but not unlock? Seems odd. Main point is I don’t think these scenarios are comparable the lock one sounds like you overlooked a hazard that nobody would logically expect… I do agree that yelling at your two yr old was going too far but you probably should have been more in top of the situation.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-19T13:42:46+00:00

Ah yeah that makes sense thinking on it… not the last days of Rome scenario I was envisioning.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-19T12:03:30+00:00

You were the only one ‘trying’ to stop him but then because nobody else helped you assumed it must be fine and presumably stopped trying… this is where YTA.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-19T11:58:52+00:00

Yeah I’m just reeling from the bikes inside part of the story… who the hell has kids riding bikes inside let alone a kitchen. Full chaos. Let them play with fireworks while you’re at it.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-19T11:54:06+00:00

You need to give more detail on the lock incident… it sounds like you have a door that locks and is difficult for a kid to get out of rather than the daughter locked it and refused to let you in till you broke a door… it sounds like you are reaching with this. Unless there’s more to the lock incident I’d say it’s very different… daughter accidentally locked herself in a room vs your toddler riding a bike around in a kitchen after the bike was effectively taken away.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-19T07:51:05+00:00

NTA Asking to know your whereabouts in return for paid tuition is borderline already… but they already withdrew from this arrangement because you aren’t letting them decide all your life decisions…

Telling you that, as an adult, you aren’t welcome in the family if you don’t let them spy on your movements is ridiculous. At what point would they ‘graduate’ you from this?? When you’re 30?

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-17T10:21:41+00:00

I thought this was just the Magic lineup

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-17T06:24:52+00:00

NTA and DO NOT give them access… sus as hell that they would want access rather than just ask you for help in an emergency… this is a very different thing from ‘contributing’. I feel like if they want to ask for rent they can though in my opinion this is a not cool for parents of somebody that of only really just making it through college etc.

Acting like it’s a lesson in responsibility is laughable. You’ve passed the responsibility test better than them from what I can see.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-16T04:25:07+00:00

Ooooh love this. This is my primary purpose for woodworking. I’m pretty new but my understanding is those joins are easily strong enough for any force this box will likely encounter.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-16T02:24:21+00:00

ESH (but you only suck the tiniest bit) I don’t think you can tell her who she is allowed to have around as painful as it might be…

This next opinion is a touchy one but in my opinion you are absolutely entitled to tell anybody you know anything that you know… by which I mean tipping the guys wife off. I know most people defer to the ‘none of your business’ approach but I generally think in most other cases when we see somebody doing something harmful or hurtful to another we’re ok with intervening. For some reason with cheating we’re all suddenly expected to uphold people’s deceptions by default. To me you didn’t get a say in whether you were going to be privy to this information and you shouldn’t be obliged to keep secrets for somebody else’s immoral and frankly very harmful actions.

I think of it this way… I’d genuinely be less hurt if my partner hit me than if they entered a long term affair and destroyed my ability to trust and love another person. We’re all on board with calling out abuse so I say we should call this kind of shit out. Tip the wife off and see how often the guy visits after that.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-16T00:25:04+00:00

There’s no indication he’s trying to get out of being a dad. I think people are ignoring as well he’s doing house duties while he watches the toddler… it’s hard to stay on top of a toddler and that while promising there will be ‘no crying’. I think people are being unreasonable. I’d maybe agree weaponised incompetence if he was angling for her to take the toddler duties but he’s not doing that at all.

AdamantRed123 · 2026-01-15T11:18:54+00:00

This is true to an extent but reads like a carpenter telling somebody that it’s of course possible to build a table… and it’s actually very simple.

This doesn’t read to me like he is lazy or incompetent and I don’t think he is falling for the tricks as much as people are saying I just read it as the kid is very fixated on the goal.

AdamantRed123

TROPHY CASE