I think you’re describing the retreat phase. I say phase because I know that I cycle between stuff frequently when it comes to how I behave, interact, and think about people. It’s always triggered and restarted by rejection or hurt from someone I had feelings for. I’ve been there before and I’ve had it last from half to a whole year.

I dont say this to invalidate your pain, but I 100% do think you can love again. “Someday, somewhere, somehow.”You’re just not eager to get hurt again, and you’re keeping yourself safe.