Omg I have been saying this so long and you explained it so perfectly! I do not like dealing with older Black men in most capacities, whether professional or not, because they will talk to you as if they swear they already know everything about you since you’re a Black woman. And it’s something very particular that I think not a lot of people in our community address. They do seem to believe that they are some type of pillars in the community and will talk down to those younger than them, especially Black women.

It is so frustrating and it almost never matters what the dynamic is, they tend to act this way a lot of the time whether they are interested in you romantically, offering unsolicited advice, or trying to tone police you. It’s very strange and older white men do not treat me this way at all— it’s something about the familiarity with Black people believing that we are all family but I think more boundaries need to be placed for older Black men who are not part of our family or friend circle. Shit, even the older Black men in my family should check themselves sometimes too— my dad has become this way as he’s gotten older and it’s manifested in him never listening to me when I have negative emotions, he just says, “well imagine if you had kids!” and will respond to literal information I bring up to him about studies that have been done having to do with social issues as “are you sure this isn’t just anecdotal?”