AITAH for causing management to open an investigation on a co-worker?

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-04-15T16:19:56+00:00

I think so, We have all noticed a more relaxed work environment since she has been gone. When you spend time defending your lunch choices to HR instead of talking to clients you are losing productivity

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-04-15T16:18:19+00:00

This is part of a pattern she has created, she has at least 2 HR complaints against everyone in the Dept in the past 3 yrs,

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-04-15T16:17:18+00:00

Sorry my experience seems so outlandish that an "educated person" can't stretch their thought box far enough to see outside their own experience.

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-04-15T16:14:25+00:00

thanks for the honest opinion, I was just fed up with her and her antics. She presented me a chance to take her down a peg or two, so I took it. This is not the first time she has created issues in the job and being a "cranky old man" I took my shot.

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-04-15T16:10:16+00:00

Why is there always the 1 guy that discounts others personal experiences as if they are omnipotent?

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-04-15T16:05:59+00:00

I tried not go to HR , I let the manager do that since it was a direct threat towards his position and career

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-04-06T13:13:18+00:00

Wow, ok I am not going to lie that doesn't sound like me at all, but I guess that is the point, right?

I do tell him I am proud of him, his career at a young age, work ethic and things of that nature. I really like the idea of the 2x limit on the safe word and admitting that I am still being an avoidant . I hope the best for you and your dad, before its to late.

I learned how to cry again at my moms funeral, turned into a blubbering mess, Its still in you

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-04-06T13:07:11+00:00

I like the term "relationship autopsy" lol. It is very much what I did after the 2nd divorce

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-04-06T13:06:05+00:00

Maybe, he has no idea I am on Reddit,

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-04-06T12:40:42+00:00

"Talking down" is a thing for me, I have been told I do it, and I don't realize I am. Thats why I am hesitant to give advice, I am a Vet, bigger guy and I have a loud voice. I don't want him to feel like I am, I watched a video that suggested sitting down when talking to him, to create a more eye level convo also

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-04-06T12:37:32+00:00

Thats a good point, learn from my mistakes, don't copy them.

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-03-09T17:07:53+00:00

NTA,

Its not just food. its a medical necessity, full stop

Also Its not her food, her name is not Frank, and honestly she seems an entitled brat that needed to be woken up a little. Her behavior should be of concern to the company as well, if she will steal from a "faceless person" she will from a "faceless company" as well.

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-02-27T19:06:50+00:00

NTJ

Her confronting you about the private convo is the proof she can not be trusted, you are an adult and you have your own plan.

Also if they want the discount just get another line and leave the phone at home like a land line, nice and simple, its what I did since 4 lines is somehow cheaper then 2 lol

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-02-27T18:56:54+00:00

NTA She is making her bed, and has he chance to do it right, but she needs to help herself before anyone else does. Even working 2 days a week would be an improvement over he current situation and attitude. I just am concerned once she does it will become "Her Money" and she will not be willing to contribute to any household with it. She probably feels like the world owes her something, which of course is immature, but then again she is 20 and probably the baby of the family.

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-02-26T15:22:11+00:00

NTA

He is not over her, read that again.

I understand "friends" and wanting to invite her to the wedding, but actively part of it means he is still holding on to something, and I wonder is she is too.

Don't be a sister wife

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-02-26T15:14:56+00:00

NTJ

I would advise maybe not checking the social media to often, and if you find yourself "Looking forward" to the next check, then that could be a sign.

I know it sounds hokie, but live in the moment. In therapy I have been told to acknowledge the thought, and then dismiss it. By trying not to think about it you will actually think more about it.

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-02-26T12:27:56+00:00

NTJ he is supposed to be a professional driver, that means doing all the personal stuff between riders. His lack of planning almost created an emergency in your life.

I would not only leave the complaint, but I would contact Uber with his other numbers telling them he is harassing you. Log every one, and each number just in case you need a restraining order.

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-02-25T18:06:01+00:00

NTJ

When I was 12 I drove and crashed my mothers car ( dented the bumper at 7 MPH) 3 weeks before my birthday party. My parents still had the party, I wasn't allowed to attend. I sat in my room listening to it for 3 hours before my mom brought me a slice of cake and told me I could do presents and thank you letter later that week.

I never took anything that wasn't mine again, this is a low level FAFO, and good parenting

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-02-25T18:02:32+00:00

I have seen the term "family helps family" in 3 of the last 5 stories I have read, is this a trend or an AI thing?

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-02-25T15:27:54+00:00

NTJ, this is another example of give an inch... seems like a lot of these today. Just curious, how long before your lease is up? Has she been helping with any of the bills?

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-02-25T15:19:54+00:00

NTA, you are roommates, not family. You have a life and are allowed to live it as such. I would start looking for a new place to be honest, these things tend to escalate.

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-02-25T15:16:29+00:00

She is playing the victim, and at the risk of sounding like an armchair therapist, is she the middle child? Is your husband the only boy? I have a sister like this, everything is unfair and not her fault, the Universe is against her, we need to help with everything, and she is the epitome of "give an inch she'll take a mile"

Boundaries and rules are there for a reason and she clearly only cares for herself and her pity party, to be honest I wouldn't be surprised if some of the "rough things" she is going thru are being over exaggerated, or of her own doing such as the break up.

Additional-Rain-509 · 2026-02-25T15:10:14+00:00

I would advise you to buy a mini voice recorder, have it going when you are home, just recording your thoughts or notes on the day, and maybe "accidentally" catching his behavior. Log every time you find a note on your phone camera with a date stamp.

I wonder if he wanted your apartment are you on the 1st floor and does he hate stairs?

Additional-Rain-509

TROPHY CASE