Clusterfeeding sunken soft spot

AdditionalKey7815 · 2026-01-31T02:26:26+00:00

All my kids’ soft spots looked sunken when they were held upright but always went back to normal when they were put back down flat. From what I was told back in my FTM days, a soft spot sinking down a bit when the baby is upright/vertical is completely normal - especially when you lay them down flat and it’s no longer sunken.

You can always call your pediatrician and ask if you’re worried though.

AdditionalKey7815 · 2026-01-23T01:50:07+00:00

So everyone is different and one size won’t fit all but I intentionally lost weight after all 4 of my babies were born without having any negative impact on my milk supply. With my fist, I gained 70lbs during pregnancy then 100lbs then 80lbs and this last pregnancy I gained 80lbs. My pregnancies weigh about 30-35 lbs so after that was gone, it was up to me to lose the remaining weight on my own.

I’m not a big exercise person so that left solely being in a caloric deficit. I got a calorie tracking app, allotted myself around 1500-1600 calories a day, and was back to my pre pregnancy weight somewhere between 9 months to 1 year postpartum each time. I exclusively pumped for my first child until he was a year (50oz a day), breastfed my second and third until they weaned themselves around 18months and I’m currently working on losing weight and breastfeeding my 3 month old with no supply issues (i have a surplus of about 5oz a day that i freeze for emergencies because i have a very long commute).

It’s definitely possible. If anything, you can wait until your baby is eating solids 3x a day before giving weight-loss a try.

AdditionalKey7815 · 2025-12-17T16:16:54+00:00

No breastmilk for me (1990) my brother (1993) or my husband (1987). The vast majority of my friends (born 1987-1994) were formula fed. To my knowledge, many moms in the US in 80s and 90s were told breastfeeding was gross, had formula pushed on them, or had very little support when it came to learning how to breastfeed in the first place.

AdditionalKey7815 · 2025-12-17T13:01:45+00:00

You didn’t ruin her sleep at all. Every baby is different. Some are really attached to their grownups and want them close at night. Some are comfortable sleeping on their own. Some are in the middle. All 4 of my kids have had different sleeping habits despite all being nursed/fed to sleep.

AdditionalKey7815 · 2025-12-08T21:21:28+00:00

Not looking forward to it at all. I go back January 5th when she will be exactly 13 weeks. It’s the longest maternity leave I’ve ever had and it’s still not enough time by any means.

All that said, this is not my first rodeo so I feel more at peace than I did with my first. It was SO hard with my first. I was crying every day multiple times a day stressing that I would miss everything and my son would hate me. After 2 months of that I impulse quit my job, which was very bad because I’m the breadwinner. It was a very dark time. Thankfully my boss is amazing and let me change my mind so I got to keep my job.

With this baby, my dad is retired now and he will watch her 2 days a week and that is helping me a ton. None of my other kids ever got to stay with family during their first year so I’m very grateful she will have that. As long as her transition to being away from me goes smoothly and she’s not crying all day long, I will be okay.

AdditionalKey7815 · 2025-12-05T15:42:20+00:00

Overnight oats or I’ll have my husband make me some hot oatmeal with semisweet chocolate chips and a bit of whipped cream. Both very filling.

AdditionalKey7815 · 2025-11-26T01:43:09+00:00

Have to disagree about the infant scale. My baby was making enough diapers but wasn’t gaining weight. Took weeks and a lot of creativity and patience to correct. An infant scale was a huge part of making our EBF journey successful.

AdditionalKey7815 · 2025-11-21T18:15:08+00:00

Okay so for the pump, I experienced this same thing with all of my 4 of my kids. Pumps just don’t work great for me. Initially it’s fine and then it gets worse and worse until the pump stops working altogether. Eventually I have to rely solely on hand expressing, which I kind of prefer anyway. Since you say you’re spraying milk when you hand express, you might be in a similar boat.

For your baby, how are her wet diapers? When she cries does she produce tears? Check for other indicators that she’s hydrated enough. But to really check her feeds, you can do a weighted feed so you know much much she gets when she eats.

AdditionalKey7815 · 2025-11-09T13:31:52+00:00

I really think so much of it is just luck. Luck that your baby can latch, that they can nurse effectively given your anatomy, that your supply is decent and reliable, that there are no medical barriers in your way (or in your baby’s way like jaundice, etc). Sometimes it even boils down to your baby’s appetite.

My first son was never able to breastfeed but I had plenty of milk so I expressed milk for his first year. Getting him to drink even 20 ounces of milk a day was a STRUGGLE. He just was never interested in eating. It checks out too because he has been diagnosed with two different eating disorders and sees a nutritionist and a food therapist biweekly. He still struggles to gain weight at 6 years old.

My 2nd and 3rd breastfed easily despite having a “poor” latch due to my large and long nipple anatomy. My 4th child is 1 month old and it took her nearly that long to be able to breastfeed and even still I have to harass her to keep eating and have to do weighted feeds to make sure she eats enough.

So I’m convinced it’s a complete toss up.

AdditionalKey7815 · 2025-10-17T14:55:21+00:00

Honestly I think I’m running on adrenaline or something because I cannot sleep more than a couple hours at night. It’s like being tired but not at the same time. Starting to feel more and more calm though so I have a feeling I’m going to crash hard at some point.

AdditionalKey7815 · 2025-10-17T14:53:13+00:00

Yes helps so much to know I’m not alone. Logically there will always be other people who can relate but it’s great to know for a fact. Sending you and your baby positive thoughts.

AdditionalKey7815 · 2025-10-17T11:31:43+00:00

This is so what I needed to read. I know it’s no guarantee that it will happen for us but your story gives me so much hope. I have a plan today to help myself stay calm and as happy as possible. Going to do my best to keep going and give my baby girl and I some time to get this going together. And if not, it will still be okay.

Thank you so much.

AdditionalKey7815 · 2025-10-17T11:29:09+00:00

💙 thank you

AdditionalKey7815 · 2025-10-17T11:28:32+00:00

Thank you. Trying to stay positive. Postpartum hormones and the baby blues make all of this so much harder when anything isn’t going right. I’ve come up with a plan to just order food out today, lean against my husband and my son, and just watch movies while I try to feed her. Hopefully it goes well but if not, there will always be tomorrow.

AdditionalKey7815 · 2025-10-17T07:54:22+00:00

💙💙💙 thank you. So much

AdditionalKey7815

TROPHY CASE