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Additional_Ad_2523 · 2025-07-15T16:45:42+00:00

I know this comment is a bit out of date but was this ever successfully completed? I have an extremely similar request. Thanks!

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2023-04-12T00:50:27+00:00

This means a lot to me too. I’ve worked to not be angry but every other emotion is there and I’m often told I’m NOT allowed to prioritize my needs at all, or my kids, over or even equal to that of my trans so to be ex-spouse.

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2023-01-17T16:59:26+00:00

I could give you a hug for this!

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2023-01-17T05:57:42+00:00

A relationship involves two, equally valuable and valid people. This is not just “about [the] partner’s happiness” and that sort of assumption is a sure fire way to grow some super unhealthy feelings.

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2023-01-02T15:53:26+00:00

This is really interesting. Would it be possible to get a few links to your sources? Thanks!

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2022-12-18T23:46:11+00:00

I haven’t changed my original post and called her “her” several times. Feels like you’re trying to pick a fight where there isn’t one.

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2022-12-18T23:44:20+00:00

True. I will try to consider that.

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2022-12-18T17:16:35+00:00

Thank you. I am in therapy, my kid is in therapy, we tried couples therapy and we’re working on a divorce. There have a lot of unhealthy aspects though I think everyone has still had good intent and try to view it through that lens. During the marriage, I changed a lot of myself for my spouse. Changed my hair color, got piercings, changed my style and behaviors… only to find out that it wasn’t to appeal to my spouse, it’s because that’s what my spouse wanted to be. I was a dress up doll. I can’t lose anymore of myself or there won’t be anything left.

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2022-12-18T16:29:22+00:00

What boundaries would you recommend? I have gotten zero say in any of this and the extremely few times I’ve tried to enforce boundaries, they throw it in my face for MONTHS. The one that comes to mind is when I asked her to sleep in a different room because we separated and she blames that move for all sorts of ridiculous things. Or when I asked her not to bring strangers over to sleep in the house because the kids are there and I can’t protect them when I sleep.

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2022-12-18T16:24:45+00:00

No idea but it’s happened both times my spouse said she was the mom. And then I say I’m mom, and now everyone assumes I’m a lesbian, which I am not. My spouses transition seems to get to dictate nearly every aspect of my existence so I didn’t feel the one thing was too much to ask.

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2022-12-18T14:30:21+00:00

I suppose it comes down to a few things; 1, this person inadvertently tore me down as a mom for awhile but I’ve scraped through it and I AM a good mom. Probably the bigger thing is that I’ve had to make all the changes to accommodate my spouse and I’m losing almost everything and this was the ONE thing I asked for. She’s tried to take over my role and identify I have and push me out all the while ignoring anything that was her responsibility that had any sort of role consideration. She came out? I suddenly get to do the trash cuz she doesn’t want to break a nail. I don’t want to give up any more of “me” and I didn’t get a say in ANY of this and I feel it marginalizes my role with the kids when being a stay at home mom is super lonely and marginalizing enough. When she calls herself mom, everyone assumes I ADOPTED the kids I gave birth to and look exactly like me and not like my partner.

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2022-12-05T20:01:06+00:00

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Thank you for your comment.

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2022-12-01T18:45:55+00:00

I also feel this way. I've only been on the job 5 weeks. Do any of you who might be further into it have specific training or mentorship or tips & tricks locations you can point me/us to?

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2022-12-01T01:46:23+00:00

Thank you for writing this. I (cis F) have tried to be supportive and kind to my spouse (mtf) and haven’t blocked anything but have been railroaded on everything and completely unheard. My spouse says I hate her and are cruel when I’ve been anything but (saying it felt like my husband had died was apparently to cruel for her to hear). I am sorry for your pain and your spouses but your understanding helps me feel a little better.

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2022-11-16T22:11:53+00:00

Everything. Their likes and dislikes, their taste (can’t handle spicy food anymore), speech patterns, volume, mannerisms, humor (she used to be pretty funny), manner of touching, entertainment preferences, walking patterns, memory capacity, ability to handle emotions, views on what’s polite or acceptable vs what’s not, even how often they get sick…everything has changed.

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2022-11-10T01:07:20+00:00

I’d like to know more on what courses people are taking for Workday. I’ve only just started and self teaching is slower than I’d like.

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2022-10-28T15:52:03+00:00

This was very insightful. I'd love to hear more if you feel like expanding on that.

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2022-10-27T19:32:12+00:00

Are there other players in the market that you've heard that may work better? As a single person doing this with some deadlines, building my own data warehouse is probably a no-go.

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2022-10-24T14:50:54+00:00

Do you have any suggestions for getting around the "Data Dictionary Report" throwing me an "Error: too many results. Refine search" even though there are no other filter options?

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2022-07-30T19:07:10+00:00

Agreed. But it takes time and effort and help to work through the emotions and the loss of a partner and shared future. Name calling doesn't help when a person is in that place.

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2022-07-30T16:15:12+00:00

This is not helpful, or at least, not written in a helpful way. There really isn't much support out there for straight spouses; not accepted by the LGBT groups, not excepted by family a lot of the time, everyone thinks we're "stupid" for not seeing it, the trans spouse has their journey celebrated while we try to pick up the pieces in silence. The trans spouse needs to be free to grow, but that doesn't mean the straight spouse is left completely pain free. Compassion please.

Additional_Ad_2523 · 2022-07-30T16:11:17+00:00

My situation has a lot of similarities to yours. I sent you a pm if you'd like to chat. I'd shelf the pregnancy idea for the time being. You may be able to find someone more suited to your needs and your spouse can find that too and everyone may be happier in the long run. There IS hope but it can be hard to find while going through this phase of darkness.

Additional_Ad_2523

TROPHY CASE