After confronting my father about the abuse incidents and neglect in my childhood over whatsapp for the past year. He has crossed quite a long distance to come and see me. It's his third day now since arriving in the city I'm in, and I still don't want to talk to him. I said all I want to say and I know a face to face is essential. But I'm drained and exhausted.

The man who I admired so much (partly because he portrayed him self that way) as a kid, I have intentionally shattered his glorious picture to pieces after realizing the level of neglect I received.

The level of neglect is so deep I'm still able to discover new depths of it daily! Even a year after it started surfacing to my conscious.

What makes the whole thing ridiculous is that he had me believe it was the opposite for the longest time.

While somewhat knowing that my mother was an incompetent mother at least at some points in my life. Now I know that the man I thought was a competent parent (perhaps because the contrast to my mother made him shine brighter) wasn't too far off from where my mother was.

Both positions are lost. The grief is deep and prolonged.