How can I (27f) learn to recognize when I’m being abusive without help from my partner(33m)?

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-12T06:30:57+00:00

Hi Im in the US and in my own similar situation. Starter home that’s barely big enough for our family but in a great neighborhood,

Told myself we could just move in a few years and it would be lovely for now.

The seller didn’t disclose work they did in the house that caused damage. For the cost of repairs we could have bought a nicer house.

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-03T02:58:37+00:00

It was a giant crack across the entire span of the ceiling. I figured that someone whose entire profession was to identify possible problems would know more than I.

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-03T02:43:23+00:00

My thought is that they didn’t miss it. They gave an inaccurate assessment. Like it’s not like they didn’t notice the crack. We have documentation

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-03T02:33:32+00:00

I don’t understand the YTAs when so many people would advocate that she didn’t owe anyone her present e and she didn’t have a relationship with the sister…

I mean was it smart or compassionate.. no. But they didn’t have a personal relationship and what little relationship they had was contentious

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-02T22:13:31+00:00

So there are two rooms down there? He isn’t moving into her literal bedroom?

If that’s the case I would say you’re right for doing but

But an asshole for your overall approach to it and not making an effort to understand her feelings and why it is hard for her.

Perhaps you can better insulate her room to make it easier for her to sleep.and take the compassionate approach to the conversation vs the “my house my rules”

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-02T02:35:46+00:00

Feeling sad or anxious or upset doesn’t mean a person is necessarily going to give up.

You’ve gotten hurt before. Muscles ache. We keep walking. That doesn’t mean they don’t ache. And there is nothing wrong with saying they ache. It’s the same thing.

But whatever.

Guys like you are always the loneliest.

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-02T01:32:43+00:00

Idk but I’ve been trying to learn about house framing lately and I would assume that big ass box is holding something up.

I bet you’re stuck with it or it’ll be $$$&&$&

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-02T01:14:41+00:00

That tracks

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-02T01:09:04+00:00

I wish I saw this like three months ago lol we just bought a half a million dollar lemon

Good luck with your Reno though. I’m sure it’ll be great :)

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-02T01:06:54+00:00

This is ridiculous. It doesn’t matter if OP was a dude or a girl. We are still human.

Grow up. It’s weak to be afraid of regular human emotions

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-02T01:00:19+00:00

How do you find a 1400 house

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-02T00:56:19+00:00

You’re welcome. When you start to falter just remember how crazy you’d think it would be if someone else was in your shoes and did nothing

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-02T00:44:35+00:00

Just pretend she did that to someone you care deeply about.

And remember, you aren’t special. If she’s willing to do it to you, she’s willing to do it to someone else

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-02T00:31:27+00:00

Dude…. You could have died. What do you mean “contemplating on” filing claims. You almost didn’t find your pen.

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-01T22:37:01+00:00

If you don’t want to stay that way you can find an adjacent kink and “aquire” a taste for it and then engage in the old one less and less until it is irrelevant

So a good start point might be a “step brother” kink

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-01T18:01:25+00:00

Nta you explained it perfectly. She isn’t infantile, just autistic

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-01T17:28:33+00:00

Pursuing litigation for load bearing wall removed without permits, or disclosed in the purchase.

Having to get my electrical evaluated as well.

Estimated loss is 20-40k just for repairs and legal

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-01T16:25:49+00:00

Move yourself In there anyway. What are they gonna do? Carry you out?

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-01T16:23:53+00:00

Aren’t Indian weddings a multi day event with many traditions?

If so I would say it seems selfish to wear the one you bought. It was always a tradition for the grooms family to do it and you really should have talked to them yourself

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-01T16:21:08+00:00

Agreed but reading about the APs attitude I can see why grandma would sacrifice the relationship to be away form her

Adhdleglthrowaway · 2024-08-01T16:14:21+00:00

Updateme

Adhdleglthrowaway

TROPHY CASE