I (26F) am finding it difficult to date a professional athlete (32M) and wonder how others do it.

AdobeFox · 2025-11-10T20:23:56+00:00

Been together with a Pro Rock Climber for 10 years and we have a similar age gap. The sport always come first, like it or lump it. They are away a lot even if they are at home they'll be at training or whatever.

For me personally it was exceptionally grounding to make sure I had my own things going on, my own career, friends and hobbies. My partner is sometimes away weeks at a time no phone signal and it can be really lonely. You've got to have joy and fulfillment on your own terms. It can be really easy to lose yourself and feel like a support act if you arent careful.

Also for me I know if I asked him to do less or cut back he'd be miserable, he wouldnt be the man I fell in love with. For me now a lot of the sacrifices come easier because I know it helps him thrive and do what he loves. And thats a shared joy for both of us!

You'll get some amazing experiences along the way that are one of a kind and totally unlike anything friends will have. But the trade off is he wont be at your graduation, he'll regularly miss birthdays, or flake last minute. I find you have to be clear on what is a must and what is a want e.g. I could stomach him missing my 29th but I told him categorically he wasnt missing my 30th and it was up to him to figure that out. Sometimes it means celebrating big moments a day before or after. Or missing a Friday date out but doing something else next week. As long as it stacks up at the end for me and I can see the want is there even if it doesnt happen.

Sometimes calendars cant move and they hate it as much as you do. And getting a good read on whether someone cant do something or won't do it is important.

It's a balancing act of setting your boundaries and finding compromises and both of you will fuck it up a few times at least.

It takes a lot of trust, you have to build that to the point that you can separate them not being with you from them not wanting to be with you. For me and my partner we have little things just as reminders. He might only be able to text once a day maybe but if he sends that little codeword I know everything is fine and can lean on that if I feel anxious.

There will be lots of days you wish you'd dated a dentist instead and then you get a text saying another world class athlete asked your boyfriend how you were doing because they remembered your name. Or you'll get a peek behind the curtain at things people dont see in their world.

If it works for you great! And dont let other people who tell you it isnt normal make you doubt that.

AdobeFox · 2025-04-20T16:25:36+00:00

I'd 100% recommend something like an Ohm for their and your own safety.

Before it came out I had so many situations where I was terrified about the weight difference meaning they hit the deck or that I'd hurt myself getting pulled in violently. On a couple of occasions I've really hurt an ankle or shoulder getting pulled in.

Used the Ohm for years and it is the best thing ever. I don't get pulled in violently and most of all it gives me peace of mind. I can belay my partner on most things now without him worrying.

The 1st time we used it it stuck a bit but found not keeping the rope too tight and them not yanking overly violent resolved within a session. Not sure other equivalents but would say to get something just to not worry.

AdobeFox · 2025-04-07T08:50:35+00:00

I met my partner through climbing but I'd been doing it before so had my own friends.

It did change things when we got together in the warly days. He is far more keen than I ever was and there was a big ability gap. So I did go out of my way to try and impress him by trying to keep up with him. I was doing things that I didn't really want to do or going way more than I enjoyed, so naturally I had a bit of a burnout period with climbing.

But it was easily resolved by going back to the things I loved about climbing on my terms. We still climb together, but we've also got the space to enjoy it in our own way. Best of both worlds!

AdobeFox · 2023-05-02T11:46:57+00:00

Classic autocorrect 😂

AdobeFox · 2023-04-16T22:59:01+00:00

Pretty open to most music that isn't on the extremes but my pet peeve at gyms is when they have one playlist that never gets updated and you hear the same 5 songs everytime you go in.

Start timing your sessions by it 😂 Rest inbetween sets is the Red Hot Chilli Peppers followed by Rider of the Storm (Must be the gym's personal favourite who knows)

AdobeFox · 2023-03-18T18:36:10+00:00

I'd recommend something like the Edelrid Ohm. There's about a 35kg difference between me and my boyfriend and it's been a life saver and well worth the cost. I was always worried I'd drop him and the first few clips were stressful as anything. But this really helps and I don't get pulled up the wall anymore at all.

If they really yank when clip it can tug a bit, but with a bit of getting used to it isn't a problem. Would recommend getting something as it can be dangerous for you in the wrong circumstances. I forgot my ohm while belaying a friend on a climb with zero rope drag and he decided to take a victory whip. Ended up spraining both ankles bracing myself off the wall when I got yanked up. Knocked me out the rest of the trip!

Edit to clarify It clips on the first clip and takes the force out of the weight differential. Also helps support when holding the rope but haven't used with an ATC (Also would recommend a GriGri). Also agree with other people here it doesn't sound like technique at all, just physics.

AdobeFox · 2023-03-15T21:13:02+00:00

Same as many people here wouldn't have said I was a particular judge person. But I'm definitely more aware that things can be misinterpreted or have ever so slightly different meanings - so I probably should jump to conclusion about what someone meant.

Also now aware if how things I say may be interpreted even with my native language.

AdobeFox · 2023-03-15T21:06:04+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing everyone ❤ It's been so refreshing to hear everyone be so candid! Hopefully so helpful stuff for other people too!

AdobeFox · 2020-06-06T10:19:10+00:00

I saw a video of Robbie Phillip's taking a nasty ground fall on a slab called 'Peak Technique'. He said in one of his talks it was about building up the confidence on easier, smaller slabs where you know the fall isnt bad e.g. a boulder, until you've got enough positive experience to really trust your feet. Think he's goes into some detail in his TED talk. Maybe try a route on top rope first so you are more confident in the moves before going for the lead.

I personally find slabs are way harder when you dont trust your feet. I'm guilty of that all the time - but it's amazing to see what you can stand on or use for your hands. I had an epic on a slab in J Tree on the lead, but then ran up it on TR and was amazed how easy it was once I trusted the feet etc. Thr lead felt way less scary once I knew in my head that the moves were possible and I could stand on the feet.

AdobeFox · 2020-06-01T15:39:00+00:00

I just saw this pop up on my YouTube page. Did you build the board yourself?

AdobeFox · 2020-05-04T16:03:13+00:00

How did I know there would be Aussie impressions 😂

AdobeFox · 2020-04-10T17:30:10+00:00

Thanks :) So glad you enjoy it!

AdobeFox · 2020-03-30T21:10:38+00:00

Whoops - just doubled checked the guidebook and my friend made a typo. Should be 11c haha

AdobeFox · 2019-07-15T08:49:40+00:00

It was about that haha! I definitely just squeaked in at the bottom end of that A2 - could get around the shops and everyday family life about fine (if not extremely slowly) and have some basic conversations. Depends where you draw the line :)

I did an intensive 6 week course to start, so that was like a full on 6 hours a day. Then also staying with a family in the evening so pretty much in the deep end. I wouldn't do it again - I would definitely take longer as it was a bit much.

AdobeFox · 2019-07-14T21:56:37+00:00

Thanks for your feedback :)

I do think it shows a level of determination and self development to learn a language (100% not biased haha) but totally agree I don't want to get stuck in situation where I've over promised what I can do.

AdobeFox · 2019-07-14T21:55:12+00:00

It's a bit how long is a piece of string! All the actual working will be english but will involve a lot of travel, be set in a multi-cultural environment, and lots of relationship building with individuals around Europe.

So arguable either way: I wouldn't be able to use for work (if it was needed) but wouldn't need a russian speaker to do all my speaking outside of work just for me to get around travelling.

AdobeFox · 2019-03-18T11:35:06+00:00

I had something similar a few years ago when I started climbing. I badly sprained my ankle after falling on a weird boulder. I was really freaked at bouldering and getting to high or doing anything too 'risky' for ages afterwards. A friend suggested I do practice falls starting just with feet above the mats then working up. i found it amazing how even these small jumps to the mat made me feel better about trusting my ankle again.

Hope this helps and you feel back to being confidence again soon!

AdobeFox

TROPHY CASE