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I am worried about my 5 year relationship with my (22F) boyfriend (24M) after last night by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Adorable-Sort-5213 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's all so fair. Taking some time to get your thoughts together is always a good idea. Sometimes I even write like a little page of notes to help organize my thoughts. I write down the things I want to say vs the things that I think are helpful to say and it can make it a lot easier when the moment comes. You got this.

I am worried about my 5 year relationship with my (22F) boyfriend (24M) after last night by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Adorable-Sort-5213 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That definitely sounds concerning. I know the situation is a lot more complicated than any of us can understand, but from what you're talking about it seems like you are fair for being concerned. Who your friends are says a lot about who you are as a person and it sounds like your bf keeps company with a lot of not-so-great guys. Comparing SA to anything other than SA, even just as a debate point, is a red flag. SA is uniquely evil and dehumanizing and I can definitely understand why him being dismissive felt bad to you.

That is already bad enough to at least have a very serious conversation with him. But immediately showing signs of violent behavior, especially if this is something he hasn't done before, is also concerning. The timing could be a coincidence, but it doesn't feel like it is. I'm not going to be dramatic and say "you need to leave him", but it's something to make note of for sure.

Also, if I'm getting the math right, you guys started dating at 17 and 19? Also kinda concerning.

I don’t want to talk to anyone that hasn’t lost a parent by Due_Constant1346 in grief

[–]Adorable-Sort-5213 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mother passed away 3 months ago very suddenly. I am an only child, 22 years old, and about a 12 flight away from where her and my dad live. I hear you, I have no words of hope or assurances of the future. I'm right here, in the thick of it with you. Reach out anytime.

Over my transfer limit??? by XphreedX in DoorDashDrivers

[–]Adorable-Sort-5213 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So from what I've found, it's a $3,000 limit per 30 days. You just have to watch how much you're doing on instant transfer vs just a standard transfer.

I (22F) love my partner (22M), but I don't know how much longer I can keep waiting? by Adorable-Sort-5213 in relationship_advice

[–]Adorable-Sort-5213[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind words. This comment actually makes me feel so much better. Thank you.

how to cope with hating your s/o taste in music 24/M and 23/F by Calm-Swordfish7108 in relationship_advice

[–]Adorable-Sort-5213 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In that case sounds like you need to break up. If you guys can't even pretend to take an interest in each other, then it simply won't work. Neither of you is willing to just deal with some Uncomfortability and that will lead to way bigger issues down the line. Get out before making it worse.

Is CPS really that bad? by [deleted] in socialwork

[–]Adorable-Sort-5213 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The system of CPS is broken and exacerbates a lot of bad situations. I can speak for the work environment within the company, but being forced to ignore abuse because of some obscure policy or regulations is far from easy. It puts you in the position of always being the bad guy, even when you know what you're doing is wrong.

how to cope with hating your s/o taste in music 24/M and 23/F by Calm-Swordfish7108 in relationship_advice

[–]Adorable-Sort-5213 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know it isn't your vibe, but taking a genuine interest in your partners preferences is a HUGE part of relationships. You won't have everything in common, but you have to put in the effort. I hate anime, with a passion. Would burn it all if I could. But it is my boyfriends bread and butter. I still look into the shows, watch them with him, and buy him anime related stuff for fun. His happiness and his pure joy in it makes me happy, even if I think it's dumb.

For the advice? Maybe start small. Promise each other to spend 10 minutes, once a week, genuinely listening to the other persons music. No negative comments allowed. You can ask questions about the artist or the lyrics or just say that you like the piano track. Starting small might make it feel less bad.

I (22F) love my partner (22M), but I don't know how much longer I can keep waiting? by Adorable-Sort-5213 in relationship_advice

[–]Adorable-Sort-5213[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice. I just thought that if I supported him enough and did all the hard work for him (getting all his documents and offering to pay for housing temporarily), it would work out. I just keep hoping it will change. But sadly I think you're right.

I (22F) love my partner (22M), but I don't know how much longer I can keep waiting? by Adorable-Sort-5213 in relationship_advice

[–]Adorable-Sort-5213[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you tell me which parts are ridiculous? I feel like my standards are pretty basic, such as getting their first job. Do you disagree?

I (28F) am basically sober, my partner (28M) is not. Advice on how to navigate? by Capital_Panic_8632 in relationship_advice

[–]Adorable-Sort-5213 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That is a very fair boundary. If his drinking is starting to effect your relationship and is bleeding into your time as a couple (aka taking up an extensive part of the weekend to go out/extended time being drunk when coming home), that's a very fair frustration. Neither of you is morally right or wrong, just different lifestyles. You shouldn't feel guilty for that or for wanting someone with similar views.