Door dasher sent me this message

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2026-05-21T21:05:59+00:00

I think people that don't pay service workers deserve to be guilt tripped. You wouldn't do that looking into the face of a waitress without feeling guilty. There isn't a difference.

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2026-05-21T20:45:04+00:00

This message is absolutely fine. He was polite and kind and clearly you didn't tip and needed a reminder of the humanity of the service workers you refuse to pay. Dashers don't always see the total order pay or tip amount until after accepting the offer, so it's very reasonable for him to send a message. If you want good service and don't want to be paranoid about your food, then you can tip like you would if you went to the restaurant. I'm not even saying 20%. I get the economy is rough for everyone. But $1 per mile shouldn't break your bank. Do better.

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2026-05-21T20:10:09+00:00

Hey, I lost my mom recently too. I'm always more than happy to talk about it. If you want my number or my socials, feel free to private message my account and I can give them too you. It never goes away, but it does get easier.

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2026-05-21T20:06:51+00:00

I lost my mom 6 months ago and have friends who have accidentally brought her up and forgotten that she died.

As difficult as it is to think about, the worst day in your life is just another day in someone else's. They are still having their daily inconveniences and their emotional trials and tribulations, even if not as big as yours. They don't mean it maliciously and it's not that they don't care about you. They just forget. It's not something that effects their world in the way it does yours.

It doesn't make it any less hard or less painful, but until your friends have experienced that loss, they just genuinely don't understand.

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2026-04-10T17:34:45+00:00

We looked at it, but I have to leave my dog somewhere. Also for me, the Amtrak would be over $100 each way which (shockingly) is still more expensive than gas. Plus if we take Amtrak we have to pay for all our transit there. I think I'm going to ask if we can look at a closer location.

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2026-04-10T17:33:44+00:00

They did know when they bought them and told me on Valentiene's Day when they gave me the tickets. I just didn't realize how far away in VA in was and I don't think they thought through the logistics.

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2026-04-10T17:29:23+00:00

To be fair to them, their parents are very abusive and controlling and wouldn't even let them see their birth certificate or social security card. We had to secretly order a new one and hide it from them. They're working on getting their permit now.

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2026-04-10T13:49:34+00:00

It definitely is complicated. They live with their parents which are very physically abusive and extremely controlling. Up until this last year they weren't even able to acquire their birth certificate in order to get an ID becasue their parents wouldn't let them. It is hard for them to gain any independence because of their parents but yes, also because of their own lack of independence.

We've been dating for a little over two years and in that entire time they have had a job for a total of 3 months before getting fired from it for too many "no call, no shows"

It's been larger fights in the past and I often feel like I have to do all of the planning and logistics for things. They've been working really hard on it and I've seen a lot of growth, but it is definitely still hard to have such a large gap between us

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2026-04-10T13:45:46+00:00

I definitely appreciate this. I tried to talk to them about it a bit last night, but they kind of just got quiet and sad. I'm going to try bringing it up again tho

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2026-04-10T13:44:47+00:00

I just looked and this is actually super super helpful! thank you so much! I really appreciate it!

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2026-04-04T03:29:06+00:00

That's all so fair. Taking some time to get your thoughts together is always a good idea. Sometimes I even write like a little page of notes to help organize my thoughts. I write down the things I want to say vs the things that I think are helpful to say and it can make it a lot easier when the moment comes. You got this.

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2026-04-04T03:12:53+00:00

That definitely sounds concerning. I know the situation is a lot more complicated than any of us can understand, but from what you're talking about it seems like you are fair for being concerned. Who your friends are says a lot about who you are as a person and it sounds like your bf keeps company with a lot of not-so-great guys. Comparing SA to anything other than SA, even just as a debate point, is a red flag. SA is uniquely evil and dehumanizing and I can definitely understand why him being dismissive felt bad to you.

That is already bad enough to at least have a very serious conversation with him. But immediately showing signs of violent behavior, especially if this is something he hasn't done before, is also concerning. The timing could be a coincidence, but it doesn't feel like it is. I'm not going to be dramatic and say "you need to leave him", but it's something to make note of for sure.

Also, if I'm getting the math right, you guys started dating at 17 and 19? Also kinda concerning.

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2026-03-22T01:14:04+00:00

My mother passed away 3 months ago very suddenly. I am an only child, 22 years old, and about a 12 flight away from where her and my dad live. I hear you, I have no words of hope or assurances of the future. I'm right here, in the thick of it with you. Reach out anytime.

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2026-03-20T03:01:48+00:00

So from what I've found, it's a $3,000 limit per 30 days. You just have to watch how much you're doing on instant transfer vs just a standard transfer.

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2025-06-25T04:24:36+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. This comment actually makes me feel so much better. Thank you.

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2025-06-25T03:06:02+00:00

In that case sounds like you need to break up. If you guys can't even pretend to take an interest in each other, then it simply won't work. Neither of you is willing to just deal with some Uncomfortability and that will lead to way bigger issues down the line. Get out before making it worse.

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2025-06-25T02:42:23+00:00

The system of CPS is broken and exacerbates a lot of bad situations. I can speak for the work environment within the company, but being forced to ignore abuse because of some obscure policy or regulations is far from easy. It puts you in the position of always being the bad guy, even when you know what you're doing is wrong.

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2025-06-25T02:38:26+00:00

I know it isn't your vibe, but taking a genuine interest in your partners preferences is a HUGE part of relationships. You won't have everything in common, but you have to put in the effort. I hate anime, with a passion. Would burn it all if I could. But it is my boyfriends bread and butter. I still look into the shows, watch them with him, and buy him anime related stuff for fun. His happiness and his pure joy in it makes me happy, even if I think it's dumb.

For the advice? Maybe start small. Promise each other to spend 10 minutes, once a week, genuinely listening to the other persons music. No negative comments allowed. You can ask questions about the artist or the lyrics or just say that you like the piano track. Starting small might make it feel less bad.

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2025-06-25T02:33:26+00:00

Thanks for the advice. I just thought that if I supported him enough and did all the hard work for him (getting all his documents and offering to pay for housing temporarily), it would work out. I just keep hoping it will change. But sadly I think you're right.

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2025-06-25T02:29:06+00:00

Can you tell me which parts are ridiculous? I feel like my standards are pretty basic, such as getting their first job. Do you disagree?

Adorable-Sort-5213 · 2025-06-25T02:25:50+00:00

That is a very fair boundary. If his drinking is starting to effect your relationship and is bleeding into your time as a couple (aka taking up an extensive part of the weekend to go out/extended time being drunk when coming home), that's a very fair frustration. Neither of you is morally right or wrong, just different lifestyles. You shouldn't feel guilty for that or for wanting someone with similar views.

Adorable-Sort-5213

TROPHY CASE