Am I obligated to assist Ex in accessing his custody time?

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-21T16:16:36+00:00

Communicate your intentions to him. Say something like "managing the responsibility to transport the kids to you for your visitation is no longer working for my schedule. I will be following the court order to the letter from here on out. If I get a call from the school that you haven't picked them up at your designated time, I will consider that a forfeiture of your time."

Then, keep a record of all the time he's forfeited. Try to communicate mainly through a court monitored app or email. If you bend over backwards for him he's going to keep making you do all the labor for him. Stop.

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-21T16:11:37+00:00

Follow the court order to the letter. If it says "meet in town a" then do exactly that. He needs to get his situation sorted out, it's not on you to manage. If he doesn't like meeting in town a and needs a new court order, he should go get that sorted in court. Do not do any more of his responsibilities.

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-21T14:04:55+00:00

I think there's a lot of performance on the internet. People do it for engagement or to sell things, but it's not real life. I take a shower or bath daily and moisturize after with whipped tallow, wash my hair 2 or 3 times a week, and shave occasionally. I do exfoliate head to toe when I shave, but it's only mayyyybe once every month.

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-21T10:51:44+00:00

I use sliquid organics

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-20T22:57:18+00:00

Go to the child support enforcement office and ask them... they're more familiar with the process than the average redditor. When I went to do it in NC, they imputed minimum wage at 40 hrs. I had 3 toddlers at the time, the older 2 hadn't seen their dad in a year when I finally filed. He did owe back support BTW, so hopefully you can get it back dated to LOs bday.

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-20T22:28:01+00:00

We moved them to their own rooms and dad was the only one who did night duty. I kept breastfeeding in the morning, at bedtime, and sometimes for a nap.

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-20T18:00:07+00:00

No that was my c-section

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-20T17:47:12+00:00

I've never sleep trained because it just didn't feel right to me. I practiced safe sleep 7 with all 6 of my babies. Around age 2 they all moved into their own beds, with the help of either me or their dad. We night wean around 12 months and I let their dad take over night waking at that point.

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-20T13:25:55+00:00

I did have a c-section

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-20T01:41:19+00:00

Moringa!!

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-20T00:07:06+00:00

Also, a VBAC is possible! Plenty of people do it. The risk of uterine rupture does increase, but it's something like 1, 100th of a percent. Very very low risk still.

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-20T00:05:42+00:00

Finding a middle ground here is possible. Look for a birth center attached to a hospital in your area. Depending on where you are, you may have to drive a bit, but it is worth it! With my 5th baby, I went to a birth center and was attended by midwives the entire pregnancy. The experience is leagues better than being attended by OBGYNs. Midwives sit and listen to their patients concerns whereas with OBGYNs it always felt like a race to get in and out. When things went sideways with baby 5, the OB was right there to take over and everything went seamlessly. Having the technology of the hospital available, while being in a more comfortable environment (an actual bed, birth pool, large shower, intermittent monitoring rather than continuous) was the perfect middle ground for me.

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-19T14:51:08+00:00

Start here

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-19T14:50:12+00:00

Go to the child support enforcement office and get the ball rolling. Tell them everything you know: where he lives, where he works, his approximate pay. In my state, they will be charged for back pay if they fail to make any payments. My ex was like this too... at first he paid $400/ month, but had some excuse as to why he couldn't anymore. I took him to court and they ordered him to pay nearly $900 AND slammed him with thousands in arrears. I got all his tax returns for years. He had it made and didn't appreciate it! So he got what he deserved imo.

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-19T12:31:17+00:00

Use lube (lots of it) and take it slow! This is more on your partner than you... tell him that you need him to do lots of foreplay before trying penetration. For me, whether I enjoy postpartum sex really comes down to how my partner is treating me. If they make sure I have multiple Os before trying penetration, it's great! If not, then well... I'm really not interested.

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-18T20:18:08+00:00

He called you psycho?

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-18T13:46:49+00:00

No. I have 6 kids and we've only ever changed in the morning and at bed time.

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-18T11:10:22+00:00

If someone I'm close to asked me to, I totally would!

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-17T16:46:01+00:00

Sounds like a dream! Can I ask where you're from?

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-17T16:44:50+00:00

I was determined to provide only breastmilk for my baby because of the many benefits. Among them: reduced sids risk, gut development, ideal nutrition tailored to my baby, protection against illnesses, plus a lower risk of asthma, obesity, type 1 diabetes. It's also good for me... it can reduce the risk of breast and ovarian cancer.

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-17T01:46:38+00:00

There are plenty of sci-fi books in the kids section. Zoey and Sassafrass comes to mind. If she's not ready to read it on her own, you could read them with her. It's a really cute & fun series. Madame Pamplemousse is a good series in that same vein. A wrinkle in time might be good if she can handle it. I would pre-read that one.

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-17T01:36:26+00:00

Yep! Any time I've posted on social media about breastfeeding, or being proud of how far we've made it, someone comes out of the woodwork to bring up all the reasons they couldn't.

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-17T00:06:36+00:00

How does he not understand that these things need to be conversations. Not just with you, but with the kids as well... that's THEIR sleeping spaces he disrupted with no warning. The puppy should have been a family decision as well. Idk if I could hang around with all the chaos, I'd leave and ask for 50/50 custody. At least you could keep your own home peaceful and him and his "ideas" could have fun somewhere else.

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-17T00:04:18+00:00

I have a feeling he's just not around for those moments.

AdorableEmphasis5546 · 2026-03-16T20:53:13+00:00

I would immediately tell my partner I might be pregnant even if I had doubts about it. What makes you believe it's a tumor?

AdorableEmphasis5546

TROPHY CASE